Published Dec 3, 2018
Nurse2be0942
5 Posts
I am in an accelerated ASN program and have two semesters left. I commute about 45 mins one way. A couple weeks ago I was involved in a traumatic accident. I live in the Midwest and it was the first snow fall of the year. My back end lost traction and I slid into a side rail and over...rolling my car 3 times. I suffered a broken rib and finger and lacerations from the glass (no major injuries). I had to wait 30 mins inside of a smoking car while the fire department worked effortlessly to get me out before I could receive medical attention.
I didn't take any time off of school not wanting to get behind. However, I am TERRIFIED now of driving on the highway. There's no other way around it to get to school. I feel incredible anxiety when driving...almost to the point where it's debilitating. It literally makes me want to quit as I feel a sense of impending doom everytime I know I have to drive to school. If I was on the outside looking in I would say I was being overly dramatic but things get very real when your car is traveling 60mph towards a guardrail and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Winter is here and that just adds insult to injury! I HAVE to get over this. It's starting to affect my school performance as well as I have just failed my first test of my entire nursing school journey. Sometimes I cant even concentrate on studying, I just would like to curl up in a ball and never leave my bedroom. I feel stuck and helpless. Has any one ever experienced this? Any tips on moving forward? I'm sooooo close...i would never forgive myself if I let this deter me from what I have been working so hard for almost 2 years.
TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN
678 Posts
Make an appointment with your doctor ASAP and get a psychologist referral. Since this is affecting your daily life, I'd get started on working towards fixing it now rather than wait.
While you're working on that, do you have any friends that can drive you to school?
bitter_betsy, BSN
456 Posts
I grew up in the midwest where snow is very much a fact of life as well as horrible drivers. You are also experiencing a pretty bad winter this year too.
I have been driving an hour each way to work for years now. Here shortly - I will be traveling nearly 2 hours to school and another 2 hours home each day. My mind has plenty of time to think about this very issue. We have a lot of deer and other critters that like to dart out into the road, and they build our roads so stupidly that water sits in them and you hydroplane every time it sprinkles. Not snow - but still the same end result of fear.
I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this, and I'm also sorry that you failed your first test. It may not be easy - but you CAN do this. I agree that you need to begin counseling asap. Is there an option to do this through school? I would speak with the school anyway because there are so many aspects of this that they can help with. Maybe they can set up a plan for you so that if you are late, it won't count against you. Not that you aren't coming or won't come - but that late will be ok. Because you may have to make extra stops or go extra slow, it would be helpful to have this available to you. For my program, if we are late - we are locked out. If we are locked out or don't come - its $250 per clinical.
You should also come up with a bad weather plan..... Do you know anyone at school you can stay with when its particularly bad? Keep a few days worth of clothes in your car so that you can stay if it gets bad. Depending on your school, do they have dorm rooms you can potentially stay in? Find some way to have plans to stay in town when its particularly bad.
Most likely you are close to finals for this semester. Do you need to take the Spring semester off? Is that a possibility? If so how would it affect the rest of your schooling? Can you attend during the summer so you are still finished at the same time or do you only have Spring/Fall semesters?
I don't really have answers, but I myself am trying to arrange a place to stay for either a late night / early morning, hurricane conditions, or any other reason that pops up where coming home/going back will be a rough situation. My last resort is a hotel and I'm setting aside about 5 nights worth of hotel money "just in case".
PTSD is very real but you can manage it. I won't even pretend that its easy - but you've made it through half of nursing school - you CAN do this. I was in a situation and 2 years after I was out of the situation it reared its ugly head about 10 feet in front of me. I held my composure long enough to immediately walk away and then for about 5 minutes I was a complete mess. It took another 5 minutes to pull myself somewhat together. I was at work and didn't have the ability to fall apart. I had to get it together and I did. Its been another 6 months and I'm fairly certain I could maintain composure at this point - but its 3 years later. Do not expect yourself to not be afraid - that isn't realistic and isn't good self care. Be understanding of yourself and your fears. You were in a terrible and traumatic situation - allow yourself to be ok with these fears because they are normal and rational. You can also take control and know that you are afraid, but you have to do this for your future. That may mean - taking extra time, going a different route, carpooling or maybe finding a different and temporary housing solution. The bottom line is that its ok to be fearful - just don't let fear stop you. Oh - and a really good doctor is super helpful too!!! You've got this!
AceOfHearts<3
916 Posts
I've been in an accident as the result of a careless driver. For the most part I'm ok with driving, but driving in the bad weather makes me much more nervous now (and it wasn't even a factor in my accident). I'm ok on highways that I know, but I'm much more nervous when driving at high speeds on highways that I'm not familiar with (and my accident didn't occur on a highway). If it appears someone isn't going to stop (at a light, stop sign, coming out of a parking lot, etc) my heart definitely jumps a bit.
I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. There's no describing the sheer terror of knowing you are about to be in an accident and not being able to stop it. My accident totaled my vehicle and put me out of work for months while I recovered (thankfully I didn't have any critical injuries). It has me afraid to partake in some activities I once enjoyed because I am fearful of injuring myself (skiing, ice skating, etc.) and being out of work again.
While I'm nervous and avoiding certain high risk activities for the time being, my accident doesn't have a major impact on my daily life. Please speak with your doctor and get a referral to a counselor that specializes in PTSD. If I was unable to drive to work or focus on my job I would be seeking help. I don't let my nerves stop me from going to new places either- I'm just hypervigilant and very thankful for all the new safety features in cars. I feel I'll eventually get back to doing some of the activities I've been avoiding, but I'm giving myself some time.
Please take care of yourself. I wish you the best. Safe driving to all, especially with the winter season upon us.
Horseshoe, BSN, RN
5,879 Posts
My daughter is about to get her Ph.D in clinical psychology, specializing in anxiety, depression, and PTSD. There is help for you if you will seek it out!
Your reaction is understandable, but you need some help to get over this hump so that it doesn't completely interfere with your life. Good luck.