Pt wants his mom to do MY job.. advice?

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Hey all! I've been the RN to the same patient since November. He is just about my age (early 20's). Everything was great at first, we got along soo well.. I was doing everything perfectly! Lately though, he doesn't want me to do ANYTHING. He wants his mom to do everything that I am getting paid to do. I'll do something (example: irrigate his catheter), he says I didn't do it right (I guess he thinks the RN doesn't know her job?) then asks his mom to do it. Well she does it the exact same way as me or sometimes incorrectly but yet its "right" and he is happy.

As we speak his mom is in with him doing ROM while I sit here getting paid to stay out of his room. They are super nice to me, but I feel like I'm getting paid to look pretty on the couch.

I document that pt requests mom to do it, etc.. so I don't lose my license for something she did! My non-nurse friends think I'm crazy for complaining since I get paid good money to sit around, but I WANT to do my job! lol

I'm not the confrontational type, but should I say something to them? Ask if they aren't happy with the way I'm doing my job? It's so confusing because they DO like me. Maybe he is just a "mommas boy" as they call it. I feel bad for her because shes always up til 3am because her son wants her to do everything! It's like, that's why I am sitting here on the couch, so she doesn't have to worry and stay up late. Advice please? :redbeathe

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Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

I'd love this job, but then there's the looking pretty part. :D

At first I was thinking maybe he's embarrassed, because young males get erections at the most inopportune times, but then why would he complain after the procedure was done. I highly doubt this behavior has anything to do with your job performance or your person. Obviously something has changed as of late, but what? Can you discuss your concerns with mom and or the patient. Approach it from a medical point of view as in change of status. Has there been a change in mom's life? New significant other, etc.? Are there other nurses on the case and have they seen a change? The family wants you there, you want to be there, this can be worked out.

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Specializes in Home Health.

Is the mom competent in his care? Maybe it's time to discharge the patient to the family's care? No sense in using up whoever's money, when professional care is no longer needed!

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Specializes in Home health was tops, 2nd was L&D.
Is the mom competent in his care? Maybe it's time to discharge the patient to the family's care? No sense in using up whoever's money, when professional care is no longer needed!

This was my take on the situation also...... Maybe because they do like you they do not want to speak up and feel you will be out of work...

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Mom is very competent!! Though she likes having nurses there so she can get some sleep and get errands done, etc. It makes sense, but when I'm there, so she can sleep or do whatever, she doesn't lol. He gets 12-16 hours a day of skilled nursing, so I don't ever get talk to the other nurses!

I talked to mom & pt last night a little bit about it, he even admitted that mom does everything way better than all of his nurses. Though I still don't get it, I do everything the same way. Guess it's that "mothers touch". I'm soo happy I even have a RN job, since it is so brutal for new grads in my area, so I plan on sticking with it for now, at least until I find a job where I can use my skills.

So for now I am basically just a highly qualified companion/ladyfriend to giggle with and watch movies and talk about gossip with. :uhoh3: It is my job to make the patient comfortable, and I do that.. we have fun, just wish I could help out more and feel more like the RN that I am and less of a BFF! Thanks all for responses! xoxo

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Specializes in Home health was tops, 2nd was L&D.

Who is paying for his care? Could it actually be he thinks of you as a girlfriend and therefore does not want you doing the care.? Sorry to sat this but....If you are not doing the care ..it could be considered fraud so you may want to advise a supervisor or someone of this issue to CYA!

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From the sounds of it he is going to qualify for some amt of respite care whether or not it's utilized effectively, be it by you/your agency or another.

Someone needs to be working with mom on saying no and delegating tasks. There is a complex dynamic at work here and mom likely just wants to make her kid happy.

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At regular intervals, ask, then document the responses, so that you have this on record in case they later complain about your job performance. Clients are notorious for backtracking about their own demands when it suits their new purpose. If it bothers you that much, then ask for a different case.

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