I seem to be hearing more and more comments from patients and families that just leave me speechless. I can think of no good response except helpless laughter, which I can't indulge in, so I bite my tongue and say nothing at all.
Here's two from last night:
Family observing nurse use barcoder to give insulin (or rather, struggle valiantly to use the barcoder, since it malfunctions about every three minutes): "Aren't you glad that you won't have to worry about making so many medicine errors anymore now that you have a great machine to do your thinking for you?"
And from a patient who wanted the max in IVP pain meds and slept very soundly through one of the prn time windows: " You should have woke me up or at least have it all drawn up and been standing by my bed waiting for me to wake up." What in the world can you say to comments like those? :smackingf
OK, I was just discussing this thread with a friend, (also a nurse). Made me remember my first, and funniest, "Is this REAL?" moment:
Working night shift at a detox center. A pt has muscle cramps, and he is back and forth to the nurses station with complaining of excruciating pain with leg cramps. Can't give the man a narcotic, no matter how much I want to get rid of him. After a hot shower and Tylenol were useless, I suggested he have a banana- I have heard they are good for leg cramps(?) -. Soo, he looks at me and asks, "Do I eat it or do I rub it on my leg?"
I doubled over laughing an ddidn't try to hide it.
Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.
Family member of ICU patient: "Soo, you're an RN, huh? My granddaughter is thinking of getting her RN. How long did it take? 6 weeks or so?"
Wife, angry that her husband's every whim (bed is too hard, water is too cold, given water to sip, chugged it, and promptly threw up, pull up his blanket, his nose is running, does the doctor KNOW about the bubbles in that tube?, WHY are these machines so noisy, are they necessary?) was not attended to within 5 minutes: "Are you even AWARE that my HUSBAND just had OPEN HEART SURGERY?????"
These stories are priceless. I've heard so much stuff, I can't even remember most of it.
I'm a physical therapist assistant (who will be going to school to become an RN next year) and my SNF had a patient who stated he wanted to be able to return home for a year or so, and in that year he and his sister were hoping their father would die so they could sell his house and move to Arizona. Nice :angryfire Like someone else said, you can't make this stuff up.
These are truly the best!!! Having been an RN/NP for 30 years, I can't remember them all. We always said we should write a book but no one would believe it. My favorite is "should have made sex more complicated." We always believed that "shallow gene pool" should be a valid nursing diagnosis - it truly says it all.
My favorite is "should have made sex more complicated." We always believed that "shallow gene pool" should be a valid nursing diagnosis - it truly says it all.
I completely agree! We always fix these types when they come into the ER for their third bout of "crotch rot" in a year... yeah, stop giving them abx and the problem will be alleviated somewhat... hehe.
Some people.....i have heard alot that i cant remember right now, but two stand out...
1. During my preceptor we had a young woman (my age) brought in after a ruptured AVM..unresponsive, pupils 9mm and non reactive, CT showed massive hemmorhage, failed every neuro exam thrown at her, full vent support, 5 pressor, etc...family brought their pastor in, and he told them to remain positive, because God was using her, and, like Lazarus in the Bible, she would awaken and walk out unharmed in three days. (sister was even a nurse) So, family refused to consider code status at all until after three days. Well, you guessed it...she coded on the morning of day 3, so yes, we had to fully code, and shock her. She did not live..It was sad, and i know that religion is a large part of daily life for some, but i still say that at some point medical knowledge and reality have to trump religion (and i know that may make someone mad..jut my opinion). Side note, my bestfreinds 4 year old granddaughter was recently in a car wreck. Pronounced brain dead after internal decapitation. It was hard being on the other side,but difficult as it was, the tests and reality doesnt lie. She was removed from life support.
2. Patient the other day came in with low sodium..getting 3% saline via central line. Family questioned me about my histor on the unit (i am a new grad and in my tenth week). I was honest with them, and they came unglued...fine..you can handle the patient on the vent next door, and CRRT/3 pressor drips down the hall, but you cant handle momma...it takes someone with much more experience to deal with a saline infusion (i just walked out and rolled my eyes)..the next day they were very upset that i wasnt the nurse..make your mind up people!!
I recently had a 64 year old woman that had a lap chole. Arrived from PACU at about 21:45, alert and oriented x3, no prior medical history, no home meds, no complications after surgery, minimal pain - very easy admission. Her daughter called at about 23:00 and asked how her mother was doing. I told her she was doing well, just sleepy and wanted to rest. The daughter immediately burst into tears and said "You don't sound like you mean it! Is she going to die?" I seriously didn't even know how to answer that one.
now this is just mean but i had to do it. a family who always complains had brought a roach into the hospital and placed it on top of their loved-one's soup. it was completely dry and you know they did it. of course, i was called to the room to see this travesty and they were going to call their lawyer, the news, yadda yadda. i peered into the lunch tray hmmmed and hawwwd. then i stood up, deadpanned a look at them and said, "it is not one of ours." i meant that it would have been mixed into the soup or at least have been wet. their mouths were open, saying "how do you know?" i replied, "it's not big enough." i turned and left the room. no further complaint was heard.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
now this is just mean but i had to do it. a family who always complains had brought a roach into the hospital and placed it on top of their loved-one's soup. it was completely dry and you know they did it. of course, i was called to the room to see this travesty and they were going to call their lawyer, the news, yadda yadda. i peered into the lunch tray hmmmed and hawwwd. then i stood up, deadpanned a look at them and said, "it is not one of ours." i meant that it would have been mixed into the soup or at least have been wet. their mouths were open, saying "how do you know?" i replied, "it's not big enough." i turned and left the room. no further complaint was heard.
I hate that!! If they only knew. What gets me is some patients sound asleep snoring like the ceiling is vibrating to ask for pain or sleep meds. boy that burns me up
I seem to be hearing more and more comments from patients and families that just leave me speechless. I can think of no good response except helpless laughter, which I can't indulge in, so I bite my tongue and say nothing at all.
Here's two from last night:
Family observing nurse use barcoder to give insulin (or rather, struggle valiantly to use the barcoder, since it malfunctions about every three minutes): "Aren't you glad that you won't have to worry about making so many medicine errors anymore now that you have a great machine to do your thinking for you?"
And from a patient who wanted the max in IVP pain meds and slept very soundly through one of the prn time windows: " You should have woke me up or at least have it all drawn up and been standing by my bed waiting for me to wake up." What in the world can you say to comments like those? :smackingf
I once tried to start an IV on a patient, with no success after 2 attempts. I apologised for it, mentioning that I blew the vein... she and her friend asked me if it would kill her and I said no, that I just missed the vein and the little bit of fluid was interstitial and it would go away soon. Next thing I know, she and her paranoid friend called in the charge nurse and stated that I had tried to "kill her" with the IV start and that they didn't want me back in the room again. Thankfully she was not my patient I was just helping out with the IV start. I later heard that throughout her whole stay she had nothing nice to say about anything and it was even more brutal when her "friend" was there. :smackingf
gracedRN, BSN, RN
24 Posts
OK, I was just discussing this thread with a friend, (also a nurse). Made me remember my first, and funniest, "Is this REAL?" moment:
Working night shift at a detox center. A pt has muscle cramps, and he is back and forth to the nurses station with complaining of excruciating pain with leg cramps. Can't give the man a narcotic, no matter how much I want to get rid of him. After a hot shower and Tylenol were useless, I suggested he have a banana- I have heard they are good for leg cramps(?) -. Soo, he looks at me and asks, "Do I eat it or do I rub it on my leg?"
I doubled over laughing an ddidn't try to hide it.