Pt complaint - frustrated

[jamieRN]

Hi again,

I know all I do is vent, and I'm sorry about that. Today I left work early crying. From my other threads, I know it's obvious that I'm not "comfortable" yet as a nurse. It's gotten alot better, but I don't have the confidence I would like to have.

Abough 2 weeks ago I had a patient - middle aged male that had came from out of state for a procedure. He was a pretty nice guy and was going to radiology that day because of suspected tumors in his abdomen. I recieved report from the nurse in radiology right before he came back and shortly after a woman showed up at the nurses station wanting to know what happened in radiology. She said she was his wife, but being cautious due to HIPPA, I asked another nurse quietly away from the woman whether I could tell her what I was told in report. The nurse said it was fine so I told the woman what I was given in report. I admit I was in a hurry but I took time to talk to her and tell her what I knew (which wasn't much). She said, "Oh ok, thank you" and walked off.

About 3pm, the charge nurse informed me that I would be canceled due to low census and needed to wrap everything up and give report on my patients. I went back to check on the patient, but the patient looked anxious. I asked him if something was wrong and he said, "I just get this way sometimes. My blood pressure must be sky high." I decided to get a set of vitals. All were normal except his blood pressure was extremely high. The doctor had not ordered anything for him for blood pressure and the chart was being reviewed by the pharmacist. I went back to the patient's room and the wife said, "Can you move the IV pole to the other side of the bed? It's in his way here." I said sure and moved the IV pole and the vitals machine to the other side of the bed. The lines though got pretty tangled, so I tried my best to fix it so he would be comfortable. I knew he needed something for blood pressure soon though so I was trying my best to get him comfortable so I could get the chart (hopefully) and call the doctor. I ended up calling the doctor after getting the lines untangled and the doctor said he would be up to see the patient. I reported off to the nurse taking my patients and left.

Today, my charge nurse called me into her office and said that the wife of the patient requested that I not be their nurse anymore. That I had been rude, rough with the patient, and that she liked all the other nurses except for me. I had no idea she felt this way, and she had given me no incliniation they had a problem with the care I was giving them. It really hurt my feelings so badly and my nurse manager was very stern about it saying that I "need to think about how I treat my patients." Lately, I have recieved several notes from patients saying how much they appreciated the care I gave them. I have not had any other complaints from patients and I try my hardest to take care of them. It just hurt so bad that one of them felt so strongly about me and that my nurse manager didn't listen to me. I just went into the nurses lounge and cried, and several of the nurses plus the charge nurse were very understanding and supportive of me. I just feel like not going back - like I'm on the bad nurse list now. I just want to be a good nurse and have confidence in myself.

Thanks for letting me vent,

Jamie

[serinity in life]

It seems that no matter what you done, some people just develope an attitude toward someone else. Somedays, when a pt. or family member is upset or worried about something they (usually suconciously) transfer that feeling into dislike toward another. As long as you know in your heart that you do your best and treat everyone with as much respect as you can, then please don't let the few make you feel as though you are not as good as you should be...You are!!! Stick in there, it will get better.

[MedSurgeMess]

sometimes, I think maybe we remind the patient/family of someone they know, and it can be good or bad depending on feelings toward the person you remind them of. I got slapped in the face one day because I reminded a pt's girlfriend of his ex-wife, and she knew I couldn't possibly be her because she was serving time in prison. Unfortunately for her, I had to call security and get her an extended invitation not to visit. Ah, the joy of emotional peoplE:roll :roll

[hipab4hands]

Don't worry about it. This is one of those things that occurs from time to time.

"Rudeness" is a subjective complaint. So, you will get these type of complaints during the course of your career.

After 14 years of nursing, it's still difficult to figure out why patients make these complaints, especially when you've gone out of your way to take care of them.

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

The wife was being passive-aggressive. Your manager sounds like she's not even willing to listen to your side of things, or to give you any advice or counseling on how to take on the information she gave you. I have to tell you that over my career there have been the occassional patients who complained to my manager that I was rude, or seemed non-caring, etc. To take the initiative to seek out your manager to report you takes some energy, not to mention a desire to get back at you. This is just one of the risks we all take in working with the public. Not everyone is going to like you. That's a fact. It doesn't make you a bad nurse. I would try to think back about what you said and how you said it to this patient to see if perhaps the wife might be right. Be honest, is it possible that you might have come across as rude? Perhaps the inflection of your voice? Then, in the future, try to make yourself more aware of how you come across to other people when you are talking to them.

[AdonaiLoveable]

It seems like your Nurse Manager was not being open to hearing the whole story...for instance, it doesn't seem like she asked specifically what the pt's wife had a problem with so that she could address that issue directly with you.

You may have done absolutely nothing wrong, but even when you do everything right, sometimes patients (and their families) still want to find fault with what you do. Though this does hurt your heart some, know that you do provide competent care, and that sometimes folks just have things wrong.

When I've worked in an area where there are very few African American nurses, I know sometimes pts and their families who aren't really paying attention to who their caregiver is and what they look like mix me up with other AA caregivers. I can tell from their comments that they have done this, so I always try to identify myself so that they get to know me and won't mistake me for someone that may not be as kind towards them! Maybe in your case, there was a similar mistake in identity.

Keep your head up and know that for every person who wrongly accuses you of being unkind, you've got many more who know otherwise.

Adonai

[ToryAdore]

You have to go by the numbers. If you have good feedback from 99% of your pts. or family members (sometimes even no feedback is good), then don't fret over the complaint from that 1%. Especially if there wasn't an incident that you could look back on (multiple sticks till IV inserted, etc.) to know that something gave them reason to complain. You'll never please everyone...that's a cold hard fact. And the family member's comment about you being the only nurse she had a problem with was probably said just to support her claim. It could have been something as simple as turning over your pts. to the next nurse and not going back into the room to say that you talked to the doctor and he'll be in with BP meds. Move on...this was a good experience...your skin will toughen. Best of luck. Tory

[GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

Maybe she was feeling out of control, angry and anxious related to her husbands possible diagnoses and took her frustrations out on you. Sometimes when peoples families aren't happy w/ their loved ones health they like to play the blame game. They can't accept that sometimes no one is responsible for what they are going through, so they take it out on easy targets, nurses!

[Katnip, RN]

Jamie, don't ever, ever take these things personally. You know you did your best.

The wife may have thought you looked like her husband's mistress for all you know, and she took it out on you. Maybe you remind her of the girl she went to kindergarten and stole her lunch or something.

Don't sweat it. You've gotten more compliments than not.

Tell your manager about the complients you get. Tell her that this is the first complain and that you did your best, that the wife seems to have a personal problem with you, not with your work.

Don't let people like that make you cry. You're going to get a lot more of it over the years. It's not worth your tears.

[AtlantaRN, RN]

people are people, and alot of them are jerks...

Did you do what your patient had requested, YES;

Did you leave the patient in dire straits, NO

wife is a jerk, can't fix that and there is no vaccine for mean, so you go

on...

Just do what you know is right and go on...

You can't please everyone, that is just life, could be wife had other issues,

I had a patient last week that was on strict bedrest cause he had been on a drip that bottomed out his blood pressure...he got 2 boluses, BP was better; wife insisted patient get out of bed for a shower, but I didn't have an order and I explained why he couldn't get out of bed...sure enough, wife went to nurse manager and said I wouldn't help patient with a bath (which isn't true), and nurse manager had to fill out a patient complaint (although patient didn't want to get out of bed)...get used to it, you can't please everyone, your #1 priority is the patient...if the wife didn't like the WAY you moved the IV pole, she will just have to get over it...and remember nurse managers have to do what the family requests, or they will be written up.

don't take it personal

linda