As nurses, we all need a bit of "power" or energy, per se, to get through our shifts. This includes both physical and mental power.
Lately, I've been finding that my mental power has significantly decreased. I still want to do well for my patients, but honestly, the more they complain, yell, and demand, the less I want to do for them. I'm worried this is dangerous thinking and want it to stop so I can make sure everyone's needs are met.
Really, my brain is so overwhelmed by all of the requests I get on a daily basis. Whenever I get asked to do something else, I'm not motivated to complete it right away. Instead, I put it off for a bit because it just makes me want to shut down, not help.
I'm sure things haven't actually changed or worsened lately. I just don't have as much tolerance for it anymore. I actually come into work later and leave earlier now just to get away from it all for as long as possible. The increase in sleep hasn't helped, though--my body is greedy and always wants more.
Any tips to get through work shifts when your brain is in pain? I just want to make sure I'm able to care for everyone and want to move away from my brain wanting to shut down every time someone needs something
I've never quit simply because my employer had high expectations for me and don't necessarily want to start if at all possible. But I am thinking there is a difference between high expectations and impossible expectations...it seems like my current position may be leaning towards having impossible expectations...
I've never quit simply because my employer had high expectations for me and don't necessarily want to start if at all possible. But I am thinking there is a difference between high expectations and impossible expectations...it seems like my current position may be leaning towards having impossible expectations...
Maybe it's like the frog slowly boiling in the soup, things gradually get worse and you just get used to it, not noticing, or minimizing how bad they are. You sound like you are a perfectionist needing to meet their "high expectations" of you. Personally I think it is an impossible bar for you or anyone else.
The only situation I ever had that even remotely reminds me of your apparent need to prove yourself to them was when I was a word processor. I had secretarial training in high school and got a part-time job after school at a local insurance company. It was highly rated as one of the "best employers". That was rubbish! Certainly not for the word processors and data entry workers it sure wasn't! Talk about a pink ghetto.
I'd type hours every shift and my fingers would ache. I was fast, typed 70 words per minute, but not fast enough for them. They started pressuring me to pick up the pace. They monitored everyone's production. I worked with someone that typed 100 words per minute, I wouldn't have even thought that was possible. But the data entry people had it the worst as they monitored their key strokes, so your hands had better be on the typewriter! No breaks for you!
Anyway I didn't even like the job, my fingers ached, yet I still tried to prove I could be fast enough. So I took a manual home and learned some short cuts. Finally my production was as fast as the others, but that wasn't good enough. They wanted me to be the fastest, at least sometimes!
Then one night there was a computer shut down so we were all sent home early then my short cuts became errors and I was called into the office. I told them I had taken the initiative to be faster. They were angry and outraged at me. How dare I do this! I didn't have permission and this was unfair to my coworkers. It wasn't a competition for me. I was just working to pay the bills while in college, but it had taken over my whole life trying to please them. They told me they weren't going to fire me for this infraction, how magnanimous of them! But I had to promise not to use the short cuts and apologize to my coworkers for this "unfair advantage". It was seriously insane. The sad thing is the rest of the staff were working class who had families to support. For me it was just a temporary part-time job on my way to better things, but for them it was their livelihood.
Of course, I refused to do this and gave my two weeks notice. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I interviewed at a hospital before my two weeks were up and got the best job of my life as an ER secretary. I loved that job the most of all my jobs and I had a wonderful boss. Many times after becoming a nurse I missed that job and the good old days when things were enjoyable and not stressful. But I never would have found that job which propelled me to become a nurse if I hadn't quit the city's "best employer" insurance company.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
15 hours ago, brandy1017 said:
I didn't even like the job, my fingers ached, yet I still tried to prove I could be fast enough. So I took a manual home and learned some short cuts. Finally my production was as fast as the others, but that wasn't good enough. They wanted me to be the fastest, at least sometimes!
Actually, brandy, your post was one good read!
We often push ourselves, believing we have to satisfy those to who we give power, as if they are some omnipotent being.
It's only when we realize that being okay with who we are and our performance can we truly feel satisfied and at peace.
Other manager is gone tomorrow, so another tough day ahead. It's too bad because I think overall the other one is preferred over me. It's my impression others respect him over me. I do wonder if it is because he is 20+ years older than me
THIS is being honest with yourself. It has to start with that. I think this is the most real thing I've ever read from you SilverBells. Don't stuff this feeling. Do something about it. I know you can do it.
Other manager is gone tomorrow, so another tough day ahead. It's too bad because I think overall the other one is preferred over me. It's my impression others respect him over me. I do wonder if it is because he is 20+ years older than me
Which isn’t to necessarily make any excuses. Just wondering. I’m questioning if perhaps I’m too young, inexperienced and insecure for my current position, although I do have days when I do quite well. Regardless, I still think things aren’t working or sustainable any more.
SilverBells, BSN
1,108 Posts
I've never quit simply because my employer had high expectations for me and don't necessarily want to start if at all possible. But I am thinking there is a difference between high expectations and impossible expectations...it seems like my current position may be leaning towards having impossible expectations...