I’ve been working as an LPN in LTC the last 5 years. I’m 28 years old, wife, mom of 2. Love LTC, love my residents, loved the job honestly. I have Rx’s for Tylenol 3 and norco, for chronic migraine. I have had these scripts for years, since probably 2010. Never abused them. Only took them as needed. That sort of changed last year when my mom got diagnosed with cancer.. I got very depressed and started self medicating. I started going through my Rxs quicker and quicker. Tolerance kept getting higher and higher. That’s when I started diverting at work. Don’t get me wrong, as scummy as I was/am, my residents still never went without. They got their scheduled narcs. They got their PRNs they requested. I was mostly just wasting meds and forging a 2nd nurses signature, signing out PRNs that weren’t asked for, when the page would get full and had to start a new page, would write in a number less than what was actually there and take the difference. This started probably around April if this year. My mom passed away last month and it sent me over the edge. I stopped being “careful” with my diverting, and basically just got desperate for more meds. This is ultimately what led to me getting caught. As soon as my administrator called and told me what they had discovered and that it would have to be reported, I called and spoke with a nursing attorney, who advised me to self report. He even called and spoke with the executive director of the state board on my behalf and helped me submit the self report form. He says this would be the best way to potentially keep my license without restrictions. He also advised me to start seeking out counseling or meetings to attend now so that it looks like I’m setting myself on the right path early on. I’m currently on day 7 of not taking any sort of opiate. I am just so, so scared. I had just found out this month that I got accepted to RN school starting in January, I feel like that is in the toilet now. I will never be able to work in LTC again. And I feel like I can’t show my face in my super small town ever again. The facility I worked for is a staple to my community. They are in attendance to any big event, and I feel like I can’t show my face around them due to all the shame I feel. So now my entire family will be suffering for this. All my previous coworkers already know everything, I guess administration told everyone. I’ve been getting “thoughts and prayers” messages from some and have even been blocked by a couple of them. I’m so scared the law will be involved and I will get arrested... I’ve been crying for 2 straight days. I don’t know what’s going to happen or what to expect. This is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have officially hit rock bottom. Can anyone who has been in this situation please offer some support or advice? I feel like I’m drowning.