NanaPoo

I'm late to the game but we had 7 inches in my Atlanta suburb last Friday & Saturday. Such a rare occurrence down here! It was beautiful. But we had tree limbs falling everywhere in my neighborhood and power was out at my house for 48 hours and I was COLD! But it made for a romantical weekend at least!

I constantly get a complaint like, "my stomach is hurting," or "my head is hurting," etc.. When I ask how long this issue has been going on they'll say, "since math" or "it started when I was leaving recess" as if I have every student schedule memorized and I know what time of day they have math class or when they went to recess. I always get a little exasperated at this point & cut them off saying, "child, I have no idea when you had your math lesson. I need a rough estimate of when that was!"

Arrggghhh!!! I had a kid come by to tell me her lips hurt yesterday and I had such a Napoleon Dynamite moment! My lips are killing me. Gah!!

Kid: My tooth really hurts and it's loose. I'm worried it's not a baby tooth. Me: Did you bump it into something? Kid: I bit down on a jawbreaker about 3 days ago? Me: Did you tell your mom? Kid: Yeah, but she's not really into teeth. And my dad is always on the phone or paying bills. (I happen to know her parents well. They are insane helicopter parents) Me: Ummmmm...I honestly don't know if that's a baby tooth or not. I wasn't present for your toddlerhood. I can put some Orajel on it for the pain since it's not super loose but I think you need to talk to your mom about it again after school today. Kid: Well, I guess so.

I've literally been wearing black or gray for the past 3 weeks. Is that sign of depression? The string on my gray scrub pants is pink. Does that count?

I have a 3rd grade teacher with diagnosing abilities. She's fresh out of school so she's roughly 23 years old. She sends notes down with her kids that say: "I saw a lice bug jump out of Suzy's hair. She has a lice infestation." "Anna has a mild concussion. She needs to see a doctor." "Joey has the flu."

Every year just before Christmas break the clinic excuses are just wacko. I had a 7th grader with a "pulled eye muscle." And a 1st grade frequent (daily) flyer who had pain behind his knee. He said he had an x-ray over the weekend, couldn't remember the diagnosis but clearly remembered the doctor saying he should see the school nurse if it bothered him at school. Riiiight-o. An ADHD kid who forgot his med at home but stole a handful of cough drops then reminded me to refill my jar and told me I should put ice in my water pitcher. Seriously, every visit yesterday was a "c'mon now!" visit. I thought I would pull an eye muscle from all the eye-rolling.

Funny...when my daughter is sick I say I'm a nurse. I want her docs to be straight with me and tell me like it is. But when other family members are in the hospital the first thing is say is, "don't you dare tell them I'm a nurse!!" followed by, "oh, how are you doing? It's good to see you!"

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Can I just say it? My nurse moms are the WORST. I have one that always challenges my "method" or says she's much too busy to come pick up her sick child. You know, her job is much more important than parenting. Her daughter has been sick multiple times this year and when I call her to say little precious has a fever she says I don't know how to take a temperature. Another nurse mom tried to send in her kid who had vomited up his toenails in the clinic the previous afternoon. When I called her to come back & pick him up she screamed at me, "he is NOT sick! He was fine last night & needs to be at school! I am a NURSE and would NEVER send a sick kid to school!!" Well, babe, you're a NICU nurse who signed the school policy that says you can't send a kid who's vomited in the past 24 hours. You've had kids in this school for the past 9 years so turn that car around and come pick up Junior from the SCHOOL nurse's clinic. It rubbed me the wrong way because we are also friends IRL and our daughters are very close. As a nurse, just have some professional courtesy for one another. Seriously.

Ok, I just cracked up when you said "she's interviewing dogs today." Am I the only one who's picturing dogs waiting in a lobby holding their file folder with their resume? Or sitting at a desk, legs crossed, answering questions about their 5 year plan?

I promise not to key your car or slash your tires on that last half day before break, teachers. Merry Christmas!

I haven't taken a lunch break in 4 years so...you're more than welcome to come down here & let me catch up on those.

Urgh. I took a day off a few weeks ago only to get a call from my ex who said, "the kid isn't feeling good but I sent her to school and told her to go see the nurse if she starts to feel worse." I was all, " YOU!! You of all people should know not to pull that garbage!!" I immediately called my sub and pre-apologized.

I repair eye glasses, clean dog poop off kids, shoes, footballs and anything else, I keep spare uniform pieces for the times that kids are out of uniform or have bathroom emergencies or spills, I hem or repair uniforms when there's a uniform rip or tear, I do shoe repair, I am the keeper of random items such as Febreeze, Static Guard, Qtips, nail polish remover, glass cleaner, needle and thread, and tons of non-nursey things I'm sure I'm not even thinking of. I kinda consider myself "school mom" as much as I am school nurse.

I always notify by email any medications given. Mainly because I'd want to know if there was any kind of trend going with tummy ache or headache complaints. The student may also be complaining at home and we may not know about this. I also don't want to give it at school then they turn around and get another dose at home in a couple of hours. If it's a cream like neosporin or hydrocortisone then I typically don't notify.

Oh, indeed. I have a 6th grader who was vaccinated all the way up until dad's 2nd marriage to a tree-hugging, non-vaccinating hippie and now this kid receives absolutely no OTC meds, no gluten, and no vaccines. Where in the heck did this girl's bio mom go because I want to find her and shake her?!? I have another student who's mom sends a long, judgey letter each year explaining why he shouldn't have a PPD or any vaccines. I'm certain my eyes will either get stuck in the back of my head or my brains will explode out of my skull each time I read it. The Hep-B explanation gets to me the most: "The Hepatitis-B vaccine protects against a disease that is only transmitted through multiple sexual partners or street IV drug users. The acceptance of this vaccine promotes sexual promiscuity and immoral behavior in direct contradiction to the teachings of my faith." Ohmigawd...don't even get me started. So, since I got the Hep B vaccine, that means I'm gonna ho-bag it up on the corner. Not because I'm at risk caring for people in the most compassionate and selfless of careers that even exists. And while I'm ho'ing it up, I'm probably injecting drugs with dirty needles from all my ho and pimp friends...aargh, I wanna punch this chick in the face every time I see her but she's too busy working on her Master's in PUBLIC HEALTH!!!

My private GA school (just barely outside of the Atlanta perimeter) still sends kids home with nits. Fo' real. Our parents are upper middle class as well. They still argue with me on the regular for not sending lice letters home. I have regular meeting with administration after parents tattle on me for random things they assume I am doing wrong...you know, things that are backed by scientific theory and evidence based. Those meetings are a blast.

I was asked by a first grade teacher to speak to her student about nose-picking. I wanted to say, "let me pull out my Nose Picking 101 textbook tonight for a review then I'll be glad to talk to the precious little guy!"

When I was in college, our nurse had a sign in the infirmary (can I change my clinic name to The Infirmary?) that roughly said, "A cold treated with medication will last about a week. A cold left untreated will last about seven days." I've always wanted a sign just like it but I certainly quote it all the time.

Kids still ride bikes? Kids still go outside?

I couldn't possibly love this thread any more!! I've got the feels!

Oh, that's easy. Divorce lawyer. I swear, it costs me $100 everytime mine sends me an email.

How much are you and other upper management/administration types like you being paid? You seem to be spending your time on completely pointless projects. I propose we get rid of your positions, hire new RNs to add to the floors to decrease nurse workloads. Problem solved.

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