Earthmama

I would expect to have stipulations. Even though you've been clean for ten years, the nursing board will likely not see it that way since you are currently on suboxone. Each state varies, but the usual restrictions are a narcotic restriction for 6 months or so, random drug screens, counseling, 12 step meeting attendance and relapse prevention sessions. Some states also have restrictions on areas of nursing that you must avoid (home health, critical care, etc) and/or night shift restrictions. And yes, the boards will give us second chances. But unfortunately, those who hire us do not have to be so forgiving. It can be difficult to get your foot in the door. However, it is possible. I am one of those nurses who diverted and was then fired. But I've been clean now for four and a half years and am working full time in a job I love. It's a difficult and often slow moving path, but it's possible and very much worth it.

I would just do the IOP. Because like you said, they will probably recommend IOP afterwards anyway and the board insists you follow any and all recommendations of your treatment providers. I work at a treatment center that also has outpatient offices and they recommend IOP for every single inpatient discharge. You don't want to get stuck paying that amount of money twice.

It can be very difficult at first to eat healthy on a budget. A few things that have helped me 1. I cook a whole chicken in the crockpot every Sunday. They often have these on sale at bulk stores and they freeze well until they are ready to use. Then we have chicken for lunches and salads for the week. Also, after the chicken is cooked I make bone broth out of the carcass and vegetable scraps. 2. Dried beans and lentils are very cheap and pack a good protein punch. 3. I started freezing fresh herbs with olive oil in ice cube trays to save on waste. 4. Buy fruits and veggies in season, or in bulk and freeze some of them. I freeze berries that would otherwise go bad and use in smoothies. 5. Soups and stews are easy and convenient. You can freeze half a batch and they're great to pack in work lunches. 6. Look for co-ops in your area. I get a huge basket of produce once a week for $20 that would easily cost 3-4 x that much at a grocery store. Hope this helps, good luck.

When we sign up for our monitoring programs we are provided a long list of items that can give a false positive, given to our program by the lab that conducts the test itself. Pam is one of those items. Also, alcohol does not always completely evaporate, particularly when cooked at low temperatures (such as a crock pot) or if cooked for short periods. But thanks for the lesson in basic science.

Child abuse? Seriously? I've refrained from responding because I am torn on my answer. Is honesty necessary in recovery? Absolutely. Is the BON monitoring needed for nurses in active addiction? Of course. Does each slip require a new monitoring contract? I really don't know. That depends on the strength of that individual's program and their recommitment to their sobriety. Is there any way for us to know those variables in this particular arena? Probably not. The only red flag for me is that the OP states she is restricting herself in her exposure to narcotics while working. Does she require monitoring for this? I don't know, I would recommend speaking to your counselor for an added perspective. So as you can see, I have more questions than answers, hence my lack of response. But back to my original question. Child abuse? Seriously? Come on, man. You're seriously comparing felony assault on a minor with a relapse? The act of child abuse is in and of itself a reason to forever deny licensure. Child abuse is a criminal act, addiction (as was eloquently stated by a previous poster) is a chronic disease capable of management. Is addiction dangerous if left untreated? Of course. But in NO way is it even on the same page as child abuse. The fact that it was put there is shameful. I won't pretend that I don't have a personal stake in this. I am an addict and this comparison hurts me. This is not, and has never been, who I am. But the protective addiction nurse in me is also hurt, my patients are sick, and yes they often break the law, but they are more than common criminals. Addiction is not a moral failing, it's much, much more complicated than that. And ps. Addiction does not necessarily involve breaking the law. I treat patients every day who are alcoholics or addicted to prescribed pain meds that are law abiding citizens.

This is exactly the type of attitude that we must all fight against. She has sought help, gone to the available resources, and been deemed fit to work while under a monitoring contract. She is no longer a student, she is having difficulty finding work - because others, such as yourself, do not think she deserves a chance. Your post reeks of judgment and superiority. Rest assured, none of us are under the impression that anyone is to blame for the mistakes we made while in active addiction. We are well versed in consequences. We all well aware that our actions are not easily forgotten - we get a healthy dose of humility and acceptance every single time we check in for a drug screen, urinate in front of strangers, hit our required 12 step meetings, attend our counseling sessions that are anything but private, or any other of the steps we take for five years in order to remain licensed. We know that we are fortunate for a second chance, and please understand that the BON does not hand out those second chances indiscriminately - we work very hard for them. The aspect of all of this that is often the most frustrating for us is that after everything, after we have been deemed fit to practice, we often struggle for years to find someone willing to hire us because of our past. We as a profession, who should understand that addiction is a chronic disease that can be managed, are much harder on each other than is necessary. If the BON deems that we can work, knowing all they know of us, then that should be the end of it. To the OP. I'm very sorry for your circumstances. All I can say is that the best course of action for you is to throw yourself into your recovery and keep doing the next right thing. When we do that and trust that our HP will guide us in the right direction, opportunities open up for us that are better than we could have ever dreamed. I looked for a job for three years and found one in a treatment facility where I often spoke with my NA group. They knew me, knew my story and wanted me not in spite of it, but BECAUSE of it. Just don't give up, you can make it through this.

I have kind of a love hate relationship with 12 step meetings. I find that it is mostly b.s. with some little gems of wisdom thrown in - but those little gems have proven invaluable to me. When I get focused on the things I don't agree with or don't like, I can miss those little nuggets of truth that could one day save my life. I just try to go in with an open mind - low expectations and high acceptance - and I usually walk away with at least one thing I can use to aid me in my journey. I have also worked the steps with a sponsor, and when I look at them as a process of self discovery instead of required work, it goes much easier for me. It's all about perception, and it's amazing how the picture changes when I alter the way I look at it. And finally, if I get nothing else from these meetings, I get to spend an hour out of my day with people who are struggling with the same disease that I am. Sometimes in my daily life I feel like no one understands me or what I deal with and going to those meetings remind me that it's not just me and I'm not alone. I hope your meetings get better for you. Good luck on your journey.

Started in CT, finishing in AL. both programs are five years, although it is actually five and a half years because it took CT 6 months to do the investigation and that didn't count towards my time. Come on and hurry up, May 2016!

Yay! Congrats, that's amazing!

I am also in VDAP, and yes it is very stressful in the beginning. Counseling, relapse prevention groups, random drug screens, medical releases - it all seems like so much, I know. But it does get easier to manage, you will eventually wrap your head around it. My advice to you is to read your contract several times so it all sinks in, and then follow it to the letter. Staying under the radar has served me well. I've had zero problems so far. As far as finding work goes, it may take time. It took me several months (not to mention the two years I spent in another states program), countless applications and many interviews to find a job. I finally found work at a drug treatment center. Just keep applying, going on interviews and being honest. Keep your recovery first, do the next right thing and everything else will fall into place. Good luck, you can do this. And you are not alone.

I have to call in Monday through Saturday (but we are not in the same state) and have had to test on three Saturdays in a little over a year. Requires a little more planning to find a testing spot that's open on the weekend, but otherwise not a big deal.

No, because I've been totally compliant with everything they didn't cause any trouble for me. I basically just keep under the radar, I've spoken to my case manager maybe three times total.

I have a tip for you. On days that your routine will be different, get yourself an extra reminder of some sort. We fall into routines with the times we check in and it's very easy to forget if those routines differ. Last week I had to go in for a day shift for training and I normally work 2nd shift. The alarm on my phone went off while I was in training and I couldn't check in right then - so of course I forgot until 8:30 that night when all the labs were closed. I have a good drug screen record, so there was no punishment this time. However, I've had to test four out of the last eight days since then. At $47.50 for each screen, I made a very costly mistake.

Call HAVEN and speak to them about this. I was monitored by them for two years before moving to another state and transferring to another program. There is only so much they can tell your employer, and will not give unlimited access to your history. And you will also have to sign a pretty specific release form. When I was in the interview process, they gave me a written and verbal recommendation stating my drug screen history, compliance with treatment, meeting attendance, etc - basically anything that showed my foundation in recovery and ability to work as a nurse. They did NOT tell them about my using history and all the negative ramifications that went along with it. I suggest you give them a call tomorrow just to set your mind at ease.

No, there was no trouble. Just a lot of hoops to jump through. Just make a list of all their requirements, tackle one thing at a time and be as patient as you can. It will be a long process - for me, it took about two months of daily attention from my first phone call until I had my license in hand.

I transferred from CT to AL after almost 2 years in the voluntary alternative to discipline program. There is no reciprocity between these states either, but it didn't matter in the end. Luckily AL had a similar program and I didn't have to go on probation. They got all the info from CT, I had to provide a ton of documentation (records from IOP, court docs, licensure status, etc.) - but then they simply started me at the same point in AL. they gave me credit for time served in CT :-). All I had to do was call to the BON, get contact info for their alternative program and then give them a call. It was a tedious process, but the outcome was perfect.

You are not alone. I work in a treatment center and one of my coworkers was escorted out of the building tonight for being under the influence. She relapsed after over ten years sober. This disease is cunning, baffling and powerful - and it does not discriminate. Relapse is a very real and a very important part of many people's recovery. It is definitely a more difficult path to travel, but it can be done. You are not alone.

Hello. I would just encourage you to apply everywhere, even if you think they may not hire you - because the person interviewing you may be more understanding that you think. Also, don't be afraid to apply at the same place more than once, I was hired after putting in for three different jobs in several months at the same treatment center. In particular, dialysis, psych and drug treatment centers tend to be more sympathetic to us and our disease. And finally, just don't give up. Focus on your part in the process, not on what others may think of you. It may take some time, but if you just keep filling out applications, remain open and progress with your recovery - then eventually an opportunity will be presented to you. Good luck.

I understood your original post to mean that IPN was not aware of the ultram. I meant no offense.

In my program, I'm not allowed to take ANY prescription med without a MD filling out a form. And I'm only allowed OTC meds from a very short list without written MD approval. It sounds like you're running kind of wild with IPN, and with your recovery too for that matter. I would urge you to get everyone on the same page, transparency is a very important part of recovery. Even though it is sometimes a pain in the ass, it brings me a lot of peace knowing that I have absolutely nothing to hide.

I was not making that comparison, that is not what I was saying at all. I said it's a slippery slope when we begin passing judgment on people's lifestyle choices. Because ultimately almost all of our patients have made some poor choices. And diversion is not always stealing from a patient, I never did that. There are many ways to divert meds without denying our patients, that was actually one of the ways my sick mind justified it. It is completely illogical now, but at the time I was very sick, and it made perfect sense. I did things then that I would never do now, or before I got that far gone. Like a pp said, you just never know until you know...

Rest assured, I'm in daily contact with my sponsor and I've also worked the steps. Part of being in a program is that I'm in touch with my feelings. And yes, I'm allowed to be angry. Being spiritual does not deny me the ability to have a full range of emotions.

I'm really so sick of this naive attitude about addiction, and it never fails to shock and infuriate me when it comes from a medical professional. Addiction is a complex disease that affects people in a myriad of ways. The problem is that the symptoms of our disease do not endear us to people - we lie, cheat and steal. And because we can be pretty unlikeable in the throes of our addiction, people tend to think we're just bad or weak people and want to feel as far removed from us as possible. I really hope this isn't the attitude you take with your patients, because it really is a slippery slope. Do you think your cardiac patients are weak because they ate too any cheeseburgers? What about your copd patients, should they have had the moral fortitude to stop smoking? The vast majority of our patients become our patients because of lifestyle choices. Feeling that we're stronger than them keeps us from understanding them and having empathy for them - even though it is convenient and makes us feel better about ourselves. But it is important to realize that at any given time our circumstances can change and we can find ourselves where we never thought we'd be. You say you're not judging us and you may not think you are. But if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck..... I would encourage you to try to get past your personal history with the disease and try to realize the implications of your attitude. Or maybe read a book.

I'm assuming that you're not an addict. I certainly thought I would never do it either - until I was in active addiction. While you may have studied the disease, cared for those with the disease and even lived with and loved those with the disease - it is a very different thing to actually have the disease, to live with it in your head day in and day out. It is not as simple as saying I would never do that. It just doesn't work that way - even though we all wish it did.

Absolutely not. I'm sorry, I completely disagree and am always a little bit angry when grandiose blanket statements, generalizations and stereotypes are made about us. Because they feed right into any lingering shame, self-doubt and fears that we may be holding on to - and these feelings are very dangerous for us. If I buy into those feelings, I quickly find myself in a very dark, lonely and terrifying place. Yes, diversion is very serious. Yes, we have made things very difficult for ourselves. And yes, we have a very long and often trying journey ahead of us. But NO, we have NOT committed career suicide. No, we will not be relegated to rural snf's for the rest of our working days. And no, we do not have to believe other's fatalistic opinions of us. While there are some who can walk right in to a job after entering into a monitoring agreement, it usually takes more time. For me, it took three and a half years, countless applications, about twenty interviews, endless closed doors and the regular judgement of people who didn't understand my disease. What helped me most was just to concentrate on my side of the street. Diligently looking for jobs, filling out applications, accepting responsibility for what I did but not torturing myself because of it. Going into every situation with low expectations and high acceptance. When I focus on what I can do, it empowers me and takes the focus off of others (since I can't control them anyway). I'm sorry for the novel, and I'll get off my soapbox now. The point of all of this is to say that we have much to offer this profession and all we need is one chance from one understanding and sympathetic person - and that person can be where we least expect it. Just keep plodding along, we addicts know all about devoting ourselves to a continuous work in progress - it's how we stay clean every day. You can do this - we all can do this.