AesthesiaSeeker

@TriciaJ You are brilliant! My license was initially delinquent because I was in Minnesota which is non-NLC and I was looking to renew it. I’m just going to let it lie, give myself 1+ years of being sober, getting myself drug tested at least once a month on my own and then re-apply and probably avoid TPAPN altogether.

I'm not too worried about the licensing issue; I'm looking to go back to school for my master's in bioinformatics and work in health data science. You bring up a good point about consulting with an attorney. I'm hesitant to do that though as finances are tough right now; I'm past the point of hiring someone to fight my case - I'm just looking to minimize any possible blowback.

Got my psych evaluation done for Texas’s TPAPN program a couple of weeks ago and it’s finally come around to signing time. Been going to AA for over a year, went to in-patient treatment, got my own psych evaluation done. Still got 3 years. Random drug screens & monitoring (I don’t have a problem with), therapy three times a week which I can’t afford and monthly appointments with a second psychiatrist which I also can’t afford. I think I’m going to refuse to sign the participation agreement and leave the program. For a guy with autism becoming a nurse in the first place was probably a bad career choice. To people who have left TPAPN or a similar program, what happens next? I know they’re going to report me to the board ultimately. What’s the best way/what are my options to leave nursing and make as little “noise” as possible?

***EDIT: Before I go any further, I want to specify that by "fair" I mean fair compared to other TPAPN board orders people have received. Yes, I did wrong; yes, I must face the consequences - I have made my peace with that. I just want to know if this eval was just or not.

Hey y'all, I'll put it to you straight: I voluntarily submitted myself to the Texas BON. Got DWI in Minnesota last year. I immediately started attending AA meetings. Since April 2019 I've been going twice a week every week. That's 1 & 1/4 year. On my own volition. I've been sober since October 26th, 2019. That was the day I entered rehab. Signed up to attend rehab at my first available chance. Completed 30 days in-patient rehab and was successfully discharged - voluntarily. No one told me to but I thought it would be a good idea to do it anyways. Moved back to TX and got evaluated again - again on my own volition - and was told I was on the right track. Got everything cleared away with the board of nursing. Sent them letters from my sponsor, letters from my probation officer, etc. Told them I have Asperger's syndrome/high functioning autism and that I had no interest in ever being a bedside nurse again - I want to go into nursing research and go back to school for bioinformatics. Got evaluated for TPAPN; evaluator says: "...responded to the test with a desire to present himself in a favorable light, indicating a need for approval by others, and it can also highlight poor insight into his own emotional functioning. Overall, [my] approach to testing may underestimate his actual emotional distress" " approached the assessment situation in a highly defensive manner, showing a tendency to avoid acknowledging any signs of personal problems or limitations." If actions speak louder than words, how can any of what she said be true? I have done everything in my power to help myself. TPAPN comes back and gives me 3 years. 3 years? That's longer than my 2 year probation - which according to my probation officer is likely to be cut down to one for good behavior/adherence to the rules/proper follow-up. I know I've vented a little bit during this post. All I need is an answer to this question and then I'll shut up for good: Is this fair?

So I can’t be in TPAPN because I take sleep meds for insomnia and have been for the past twelve years? What next, are they going to tell me I can’t join because I have autism? Because I have that too, and that f’s with my life way more than my drinking ever has or could.

Honestly I am going to fight that tooth and nail. They are not going to dictate what prescriptions I take. I will hire a lawyer if I have to.

So I’m going to start Texas’ peer assistant program and clearly drug testing is going to be a part of it. I’ve been reading through the information packet and it’s very, very sensitive to just about everything. They go to the point of even saying I’d need to steer clear of a poppyseed bagel. Thing is I have chronic insomnia and I’ve tried everything under the sun and the only thing that has work -which I have a prescription for - is Ambien. Is this really going to screw my testing? Also does TPAPN take into consideration what we’re being tested for? I was referred to them because of ETOH, not drugs. And Ambien’s technically a hypnotic & not a benzo. Anyone else been prescribed controlled substances on a regular basis while they were enrolled?

So I'm a nurse who for all intents and purposes should probably have not become one - I have Asperger's & did fine in nursing school & clinicals - but completely couldn't perform working full time as a nurse with my social issues when I was on my own. I showed up to work under the influence of alcohol (huuuuge mistake for which I am paying for dearly), was instructed to enroll in TPAPN by the board. I already went to inpatient treatment, I've been sober for 6 months, things are looking better. I did a lot of self reflection and I realized bedside nursing is not something I can excel at. I'm looking at nursing research jobs, informatics positions, occupational health, insurance etc. jobs that don't require as much patient interaction but still fall in the nursing realm. I understand that now as I get involved in TPAPN my job prospects & potential employers are going to be very limited now when dealing with patients. Would employers be more open to hire a nurse for a hands-off role than a bedside position?

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I have always wanted to do ICU nursing and I can't think of a better place to do it. I also kinda have Asperger's so learning can be a little difficult as I remember things better by writing them down Thank you, I really needed to hear this.

Hey y'all, I gotta back up a bit because I need to give this a little context: In 2016 I was a new grad and started a Neuro PCU residency. Problem is, that only lasted 6 months. A family member got sick, we didn't know how much time they had left, I quit and went home to help take care of them. 18 months passed and aside from taking care of a loved one I have spent 0% of my time doing nursing. Somehow God threw me a hail mary and I got a job offer for the ICU at the Mayo Clinic. Yeah, I know, I crapped my pants a little. Now my manager knows this AND she hired me anyways, saying the orientation process will give me everything I need to know and that I'll be successful. I'm not totally convinced and think I'm in for something way over my head. I really need either encouragement or cold hard truth because moving from Texas to MN is not going to be easy...

So I've posted my story a lot on here and it's probably not worth repeating. I recently spoke with a nurse recruiter and she told me my chances at getting hired in my area (DFW) are extremely slim since I'm not a new grad & don't have a year of experience under my belt. Essentially I was told I need to leave home and seek out opportunities elsewhere. Problem is, I have no idea where else to look. I've considered doing agency nursing for a couple of months to reach the one year mark & hope something steady comes along - but I've never been that lucky of a person. Anyone know of places in the US that are in a big need for nurses? I've heard a lot about Minneapolis/St. Paul. Any advice is welcome.

Applied for OR, had interview this past Thursday. I vaguely remember them saying I would hear something back by Saturday but no word yet. The waiting is the hardest part :/

Thank you for the post @beekee, I really appreciate the advice. I've actually used a lot of what you wrote as a pitch to employers who ask me about my work gap!

I like this, I really do, and I know at the end of the day that's all that counts. But these past 18 months have really been hell. My sister developed a drug problem and my parents wanted me home to help take care of her. I started eating right and exercising and I lost 130 lbs. I also found out the firing made me deeply depressed, I started going to therapy and I found out I'm bipolar depressive. I know at the end of the day I need a nursing job or a sign from God/hiring manager that would give me a chance. What I don't want is to give off the impression that I've only spent this time away from nursing sitting on my hands.