First, I am going to address that I made the comment about staying in Houston not because I thought nursing school somewhere else would be easier, because that isn't what I want or expected at all, but because I felt I should have given myself a chance to step out of my comfort zone and experience something new, and maybe if I wasn't around all my friends/family/etc for distractions, I'd find studying excessively easier.
I suppose when you post on the internet you are going to get people that assume things about you, however, I neglected to mention in the original post that there was a lot more going on in my life than just nursing school, and I'm not going to elaborate on here about it, but I definitely wouldn't go as far as to say it was lack of a work ethic, because my professors, family, and friends know that is NOT the problem. That is an assumption that can't be made. I have pulled so many all-nighters studying in my life (and no, not because I'm cramming. These weren't "night before the test" all-nighters). I have put in a lot of detail and effort into every assignment I've ever turned in. I have always taken pride in what I do. The issue has been that I didn't realize that nursing school would be virtually impossible if I had external unresolved issues to deal with in addition. The conglomeration of these external issues and nursing school had stripped me of all the happiness and motivation I had, and left me with a pretty severe case of depression. I contemplated checking myself in somewhere for a time, because it was getting that bad. Thank goodness that didn't happen!
So, again, no, I do not have a problem with my work ethic and I AM going to make it through nursing school. In fact, despite my spell of not studying effectively (mostly because I didn't know how, not because I wasn't putting in the time) or attending class for a while (because I was so depressed I was sleeping 16 hours a day) and doing not-so-hot on exams during that time, I bounced back and am passing everything with at least a low B. No Cs. I still have 10 exams to go before the semester is over, but I am confident I will make it through. Worst case scenario, I have to drop a class like some fellow students, but I am determined to not let my grades slump that low.
As far as my statement about clinicals goes: I didn't write all that to indicate how naive and uninformed I am about real-world nursing. It isn't like I don't know any nurses in real life.. My fiance will be a nurse in 6 weeks, his mother is a nurse, her 2 best friends are nurses, and I have watched what my nurses do in clinicals. I talk to them about their journeys, what they like and don’t like about their jobs. It is pretty apparent that they don't have time for all the little things like I do in clinicals, however, my point was that I enjoy being in the hospital. The atmosphere. I like what the nurses do, and I KNOW it is right for me. Yes, nurses get stressed out, yes they come home in a bad mood sometimes, yes sometimes their patients are hateful to them, (I watched a patient 2 weeks ago throw his pitcher at a nurse, and watched the PCA’s clean it up silently and morbidly) but at the end of the day every nurse I have talked to loves their job and wouldn’t have it any other way. They say it is almost always rewarding, even if they don’t get “thank you”s or don’t have time for everything they wish they had time for. My clinical experience merely tells me that being in the hospital, being a nurse, is right for me, not that I’ll get to do all those things when I’m a nurse.
To conclude: this has never been an issue of time commitment and effort. I was more than ready to start nursing school and work my *** off to be a nurse, because I went in knowing that’s what it takes and knowing it was everything I wanted. I have watched my fiancé struggle through nursing school the past 2 years, so I know what is expected. I have resolved my issues and have come back full swing. No more depression. Thank you to everyone who gave me encouraging responses, because they really mean a lot. I have received the same feedback from some of my professors and nurses alike, and it has really been a big part of the reason I am back to my old self. HESIs for all four classes are fast-approaching, and none of us are really sure what to do about them, but I’m ready to take them on. :)