In need of some encouragement before I give up!

Whitney1987 · Mar 17, 2012

ok girl. im kinda in the same boat as you. its called "burn out", happens to everyone. i'm 24 and a single mother and have zero time for dating or going out and having fun. it really does suck, but you are going to make it. look at it this way, your only 21 and in just a year or two your going to be a full blown nurse. i know at the moment hanging out with your man and doing the "college" thing seems like a much better idea but hun it's not. if you give up now in a few months your going to regret it and see how lucky you were. you have a chance to get an great education a great job and make great money. don't throw that away. you just have to suck it up and hang in there and you'll be so glad you did. all nurses feel this way at some point and it's what makes a great nurse or what makes a nursing school dropout. dont quit and lose sight of what your doing. hang in there. you'll make it. we are all here to support you.:kiss

PinkNBlue, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2012

What you're describing is what everyone in nursing school experiences. No sleep, always crabby, no fun, already reading, always studying, etc. To be blunt, it sucks. I didn't go away for school either and also went to a community ADN program so the 'not getting a college experience' is how I felt when I first started school as well.

However, I don't regret a single moment of the past 2 years. I graduated in Dec and am working as a RN now and couldn't be happier.... and the experiences and the people that I met throughout those two years were amazing. I will forever be friends with some of those people because they are the ONLY ones who know what you're going through. Other people will try to understand but they won't get it. You'll probably grow apart from some of your friends right now who aren't in nursing school because when they call you for the 15th time to go out, and you say no because you have to study, they won't get it.

But I cannot tell you how worth it it will be when you graduate, pass boards and get a job. It's painful and most I've talked to who went to nursing school 30 years ago say if they had to go back today? They'd chose a different career. But you can do it. You've already dove in.... keep swimming. You may miss some things but to have RN after your name, it will be worth it. :) Good luck to you.

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2012

But I cannot tell you how worth it it will be when you graduate, pass boards and get a job. It's painful and most I've talked to who went to nursing school 30 years ago say if they had to go back today? They'd chose a different career. But you can do it. You've already dove in.... keep swimming. You may miss some things but to have RN after your name, it will be worth it. :) Good luck to you.

No, I wouldn't. I love being a nurse. 31 years. BSN/MSN. Working ED and teaching.

Best years of your life at 21? Nope. Can't have any fun? why not? take your fiance and the puppy to the park and play frisbee. Rent a good comedy. Practice your assessments on the dog and on your fiance, get them involved with what you are working on!

Stop skipping class and dig in. Make a decision to work at being a good nurse, get some counseling at school (sounds like a bit of depression may be settling in). The whole "college experience" isn't all that different from community college to university setting; yes there are different people, but it doesn't take going to college to meet new people. Nursing school is time consuming, but relatively speaking is a short time. You have another 60 or 70 years ahead, God willing, and the good life does not end at age 22.

PinkNBlue, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2012

No, I wouldn't. I love being a nurse. 31 years. BSN/MSN. Working ED and teaching.

That's wonderful for you! It's not the practice of nursing that would cause them to not do nursing, it was the process of becoming one. I'm aware not everyone who has 30+ yrs experience feel this way... Hence me saying MOST. :) good for you on all of your accomplishments :)

maccheese · Mar 18, 2012

Hello everyone! I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life! I really feel pretty alone in my school.
There aren't very many people my age, and most of the ones relatively close to it are married with children, or at least married. So many people are returning back to get second degrees or going back to get their first ones. They don't have any interest in making serious friendships. I'm single (well, engaged), and not really sure what to do. I thought nursing school would be an opportunity to meet people and open doors for me as well as, obviously, get my nursing degree. I'm thinking I made a mistake going to school in Houston (my hometown). I should've gone off somewhere, and perhaps the experience would've been better. Can't cry over spilled milk, though, right?
However, the school part is killing me. I know so many of you have been here before, and have felt exactly like I have... Some of my classmates feel like this, too, but for different reasons. I went from a 3.97 to looking at a 3.0 for the semester.. I honestly don't have the drive to even attempt As. I've become complacent and Bs are fine with me now. I'd rather come home and curl up with my puppy and eat dinner with my fiance than listen to endocrine drug lectures. I've found myself skipping class a lot. I'm passing everything with B's at this point, but I guess my whole reason for posting here is what should I do? Am I going to make it through the program feeling like this? Will it get harder for me? Should I drop out, even though I know nursing is right for me? What about changing to a different school in a different town or state? Is that even an option? So many questions... thanks in advance to whoever reads this! :)
/endrant

I agree with a PP that you may be experiencing burnout, but your body/mind is also signaling to you to find a balance. I personally think its okay to have B's in nursing school especially if you're living a life that includes stuff other than studying all the time. Its okay to say, "tonight, I'm taking a break to snuggle up with the puppy and and the hubby." If you get a B instead of an A as a result of it, so be it. You passed. Also, you are not wasting the best years of your life. Think about how great things will be after you finish school, have a career, can provide stability for your family, and enjoy life. Life doesn't end after 25, it doesn't. :) I say just hang in there, get some support if you need to from a counselor, and continue to take meaningful breaks on a regular basis.

taylorxteddy · Mar 22, 2012

Thanks for the responses everyone! They were greatly appreciated. :) All the wear and tear got me sick now and I have acute bronchitis... I just need this semester to be over so I can rejuvenate myself. I just didn't prepare myself well enough for nursing school and now that I know what it's like, I think second semester will be more doable. I'm not gonna give up, because I've already invested too much time and effort in this, and I know it is what I want to do. I'll try to keep looking ahead to May of next year and all the great things that will come with it! :)

Double-Helix, BSN, RN · Mar 22, 2012

Wow, so many things to address in this post...

1. My birthday fell during finals week of nursing school. Every year for four years. I turned 19, 20, 21 and 22 during finals weeks and trust me when I say I didn't enjoy any of them. But when you've had 20 birthdays already and you're working toward a greater goal, being able to go to and celebrate one day doesn't seem so important. You don't have to have a big celebration on your birthday. Just a nice dinner with your fiancé on your day off can be your celebration.

2. Clinicals are often the best part of nursing school. Let's face it- your clinicals right now are easy. You get to have one, maybe two patients. You don't have to deal with the doctors, changing orders, updating medications, calling the pharmacy and x-ray and the lab. You don't have to document everything you do in the EMR. You can spend all your time with your patient, get them whatever they want, and have time to do the little things. Of course they love you because their primary nurses are so busy with their five patients that they barely have time to ask how the patients are doing. So enjoy clinicals, but realize that when you're actually a nurse you aren't going to have time to do all the extra things that currently make your patients love you. There will be days when you will be so busy you will finish your shift feeling like you haven't helped anyone.

3. It's normal to experience some burn out and stress during school. However, you still have two months to go before you even finish your first semester. That means you've been in nursing school for what, two and a half months? If you're already skipping classes and lacking motivation to study and learn then I have to say, you are not going to make it. I'm not going to sugar coat it and give you false reassurance. Nursing school takes hard work. You have to go to class. You have to take notes. You have to study. You have to study again. Skipping classes and skating by is not going to cut it. Your first semester classes are not going to be the hardest ones that you take. It will get harder. Unless you establish good study habits now, you'll end up failing.

4. Your issue is not related to your school. Your issue is related to your own motivation and work ethic. Do you really want to be a nurse? Are you willing to sacrifice, struggle and work for it? If you are, then you need to start now. Unless you get back on track with studying and attending class now then it won't matter what you do. Switching schools won't help, because what makes you think you'll go to class and study more in a new school? It's not going to be easier somewhere else.

5. I suggest you really think about whether nursing is the career for you and whether you are willing to put in the time and effort. Then make a contract with yourself to start doing it. Don't skip class unless you are sick. Set aside an hour a day for studying and stick to the schedule. Make a list of goals for yourself, such as getting an A on one test in each class. Focus on your dream of becoming a nurse. If you have that dream in mind, it becomes easier to put in the hard work.

dragonfly414 · Mar 22, 2012

I agree, hang in there! I stayed home for my first year of school and then got an apartment 15 minutes away from my parents house. Looking back I feel like I missed out on the meeting people and making life long friendships that many people form in college, but I'm not so sure I would have liked living in dorms either! I didn't go right into nursing, I earned a liberal arts associates and then transferred to a different school for a Bachelors degree. Now two years and a BS in Health Sciences with a minor in Holistic Health later, I'm back to community college for an ASN!

Look on the bright side girl, you know what you love and what you want to do! I didn't know at first and it has cost me some extra time and money in school. I completely understand how hard it is and I know you're having a tough time, but honestly you have it made! You're only 21, you know what you want to do for a career, you have been accepted to a nursing program (which can be quite competitive), your parents are helping with school, and your maintaining good grades despite your emotional challenges! Nobody is going to ask you if you got an A in pathophysiology when you are working as a nurse! Don't sweat the small stuff, you are much stronger than you realize!

Before you know it you're going to be graduated! It WILL go by faster than you think, life always does. You'll be out of school with a lot less loans or maybe no loans, and you'll only be 23 years old making great money! I would kill to be in that position, as I'm sure many other nursing students who are also losing their minds would. Don't get sick to your stomach when I say this, but maybe you could knock out a course or two in the summer to lighten the load for fall and spring semesters? I know having the summer off is sooo nice, but taking a summer course beats losing your mind from September to May.

Lastly, I think it is definitely a good idea to go talk to someone. Every college I've ever attended has several counselors on campus you can speak to for no additional charge aside from the outrageous tuition you already pay! Take a multivitamin or a little extra vitamin D to help give you a boost. What about taking a group class like yoga or zumba on campus if it exists? You might meet some cool people and get a boost from exercise. This too shall pass. Remember you can always make friends, but you might not always be able to seize this golden opportunity. Take a deep breath, you can do it!!!

DGrace · Mar 22, 2012

DO NOT drop out. You sound like you are meant to be a nurse and nursing needs people like you. You love clinical and you love taking care of patients. You'll get through the school part. Give yourself some credit. You are in a difficult program. A 3.0 isn't so bad. I have been a nurse for quite a few years but I can still remember feeling discouraged like you seem to be. That first year of school was so hard. I came close to bagging it a few times. The second year was definitely easier for me. At this point, I don't even remember what my average was, nor do I care. I am a good nurse and I am so happy that I stuck with it. Curl up with your puppy and have dinner with your fiance: you need that. But please continue your nursing studies. You will be so happy you did. Good luck.

taylorxteddy · Apr 9, 2012

First, I am going to address that I made the comment about staying in Houston not because I thought nursing school somewhere else would be easier, because that isn't what I want or expected at all, but because I felt I should have given myself a chance to step out of my comfort zone and experience something new, and maybe if I wasn't around all my friends/family/etc for distractions, I'd find studying excessively easier.

I suppose when you post on the internet you are going to get people that assume things about you, however, I neglected to mention in the original post that there was a lot more going on in my life than just nursing school, and I'm not going to elaborate on here about it, but I definitely wouldn't go as far as to say it was lack of a work ethic, because my professors, family, and friends know that is NOT the problem. That is an assumption that can't be made. I have pulled so many all-nighters studying in my life (and no, not because I'm cramming. These weren't "night before the test" all-nighters). I have put in a lot of detail and effort into every assignment I've ever turned in. I have always taken pride in what I do. The issue has been that I didn't realize that nursing school would be virtually impossible if I had external unresolved issues to deal with in addition. The conglomeration of these external issues and nursing school had stripped me of all the happiness and motivation I had, and left me with a pretty severe case of depression. I contemplated checking myself in somewhere for a time, because it was getting that bad. Thank goodness that didn't happen!

So, again, no, I do not have a problem with my work ethic and I AM going to make it through nursing school. In fact, despite my spell of not studying effectively (mostly because I didn't know how, not because I wasn't putting in the time) or attending class for a while (because I was so depressed I was sleeping 16 hours a day) and doing not-so-hot on exams during that time, I bounced back and am passing everything with at least a low B. No Cs. I still have 10 exams to go before the semester is over, but I am confident I will make it through. Worst case scenario, I have to drop a class like some fellow students, but I am determined to not let my grades slump that low.

As far as my statement about clinicals goes: I didn't write all that to indicate how naive and uninformed I am about real-world nursing. It isn't like I don't know any nurses in real life.. My fiance will be a nurse in 6 weeks, his mother is a nurse, her 2 best friends are nurses, and I have watched what my nurses do in clinicals. I talk to them about their journeys, what they like and don’t like about their jobs. It is pretty apparent that they don't have time for all the little things like I do in clinicals, however, my point was that I enjoy being in the hospital. The atmosphere. I like what the nurses do, and I KNOW it is right for me. Yes, nurses get stressed out, yes they come home in a bad mood sometimes, yes sometimes their patients are hateful to them, (I watched a patient 2 weeks ago throw his pitcher at a nurse, and watched the PCA’s clean it up silently and morbidly) but at the end of the day every nurse I have talked to loves their job and wouldn’t have it any other way. They say it is almost always rewarding, even if they don’t get “thank you”s or don’t have time for everything they wish they had time for. My clinical experience merely tells me that being in the hospital, being a nurse, is right for me, not that I’ll get to do all those things when I’m a nurse.

To conclude: this has never been an issue of time commitment and effort. I was more than ready to start nursing school and work my *** off to be a nurse, because I went in knowing that’s what it takes and knowing it was everything I wanted. I have watched my fiancé struggle through nursing school the past 2 years, so I know what is expected. I have resolved my issues and have come back full swing. No more depression. Thank you to everyone who gave me encouraging responses, because they really mean a lot. I have received the same feedback from some of my professors and nurses alike, and it has really been a big part of the reason I am back to my old self. HESIs for all four classes are fast-approaching, and none of us are really sure what to do about them, but I’m ready to take them on. :)

elle21 · Apr 9, 2012

I felt like I didn't get the "college experience" when I went to community college a while back and I know I would feel the same way in a nursing program now if I were younger. You do have a lot of older nursing students. As one of them, I think it's because nursing is hard and not just the theory class. I have a lot of respect for our younger students because it's not easy to get personal with people your grandparent's age. Also, as an older student with kids I'm feeling the same way emotionally. I'm not out for a college experience, but I do feel like my stay at home mom friends are doing all these fun things and I'm stuck studying. I completely understand how it can be overwhelming and feel like you have no life. I think we all feel that way. It's just for such a short time though. You only have one more year. By that time you can move on from the college life to the young adult life, which is A LOT more fun anyway. Hang in there and don't drop out. This time next year you would be so mad at yourself to think you could be graduating.