I cannot believe I am writing this post, but I've been having goosebumps since I went off shift 3 days ago. My situation is this. I was off work for personal leave for a few months, and when i talked to my manager about coming back to work, she said, "Oh you think we're gonna let you work as soon as you come back? No that's unsafe! We need to reorient you" Anyhow, on my first day back on the floor, i get none of the said orientation, and full load of patients. Okay. I got through the day safely with the help of my charge nurse who also had a full load of patients herself. As a background I have worked this floor for a few years now, so most of the stuff we do I remember. But there are also things they've changed that i need to catch up on.
Second day, I go back, they floated me to the ICU. Although I was working with the best nurse they had on the unit, I was really uncomfortable being there the whole time handling 2 patients. They had floated me down on that floor before, the last one being more than 2 years ago, so I was highly anxious during the beginning of shift. Whole-heartedly, I am not comfortable with critical care at all, and as far as interest goes, I am really not interested in working at critical care units. With the other nurse guiding me on, we get through the night safely.
But I know this won't be the last time I am working there as this wee hospital is changing from having separate m/s and icu floors to just one 'acute care' floor, which at anytime I can be given critically ill patients on my own, with none of the experienced nurses working with me. And this type of workplace has become the type of place that assumes that if you have acls then you are fit to work icu, don't care if you have no training on drips and vents.
I do understand that the only way to learn is to handle patients but in these times, the culture of safety is gone. My co-workers told me things are getting grimm, since I was on leave there were so many codes, and one of them, even with no vent experience they made her handle two patients and she had to call the nurse who was off duty to help her manage the vents because the one she was working with had no extensive experience either. They are good nurses and the place we work used to be a good place to work at but things have changed so much from the day I started here, and the nurses are all wanting to leave and I feel heartbroken too but I think it is time I leave too. But while I am looking for another job, how do i get by with this situation safely? I am seriously having heebeegeebeez and want to just run...