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Siciliyisbest MSN

Content by Siciliyisbest

  1. Siciliyisbest

    Fed up!!

    All these monitoring programs feel like rabbit hole to me. It’s impossible to get a break. Even when you are extra cautious, compliant it’s like walking on egg shells every single second. Fear of slightest mistake or any error is punishable over and over again. No chance to prove your innocence even with evidence based researches and documented articles. It’s like I am living in a twilight zone. Besides, financial stress of not being a licensed clinician has anyone thought of quitting for good? Personally mental, emotional and physical stress is clamping me down more then any financial stress. And, I have been out of work since 9 months now due to repeating 90/90 for couple missed checking. Finally, after 9 months and one year of sobriety BON was in process of activating my license when my Pteh came positive for alcohol at 35ng/ml. My Pteh a week before this is negative. Urine abnormal day before the positive PTeh. ETG/ETS negative in urine. Due, to Covid I did increase my hand washing with hand sanitizer substantially. No amount of debate, research was accepted for “incidental exposure.” So, back in 90/90, no work and therapy. My stress level has reached its maximum capacity. I rather just sell everything and go live in woods with peace and serenity. This is not a recovery program. It feels like I was more normal and stable before entering this program. I just don’t know what to do. Throwing in the towel is something I am considering :(((
  2. Reach out to me 7326742787. Same. Positive peth with hand santizer! 

  3. Siciliyisbest

    Peth test

    Me too just came out positive. I am pouring alcohol over my hands as no ones business. Urine done 3 days ago was low creatinine and got a blood test which is positive. I don’t know what to do now!! I am so pissed, sad, upset, angry 😡 now what????
  4. Siciliyisbest

    Ramp in NJ- Why am I not surprised!!!!!!!

    I have been in Ramp program for close to 2 months now. Beside's my initial blood test being positive of PEth all my subsequent testings has been negative. Including hair, nails and 4 different urine(all different options). Last week on July 9th they sent me for an evaluation for alcohol. The evaluator took a random UDS which was negative for alcohol. Her recommendation to Ramp was that at present time I don't need any further outpatient weekly treatment, which Ramp over preceded their decision forcing me to go for weekly treatment which I agreed on. July 10th I ended up having a confrontation with my facilitator regarding Ramp's forceful decision and being very upset/angry. July 12th I had option 5 urine drug screen which I found out this morning is positive. Surprise!!!! Surprise!!!!! I went to Quest diagnostic this morning and was told that I don't have any record of me ever being there for urine drug screen. I showed them my donor copy and requested further investigation as why am I not in the computer that I was there on July 12th for my screening? The lab technician gave me some further information to call, which I did. I am non-existent in their computer. However, I have positive result from FSS which is Ramp's result lab. I further called in all my other lab testing sites where my results were negative and sure behold I was present in all their computer information. Also, even if we are paying for all our testing we don't have any access to our results except negative or positive. Which in itself is utter nonsense. So my question is how did I disappear completely for my positive results yet was present in all other lab testing for my negative results ??? Very very fishy and highly unethical and illegal. I called my lawyer this morning. Waiting for his response. This all is a nightmare to say the least:(((((
  5. Siciliyisbest

    Ramp in NJ

    I just started with RAMP in NJ. My intake was on May 8th. I am tested for alcohol due to my DWI. I told ramp my last alcohol intake was a month ago. I got my blood tested for alcohol. They test for Phosphatidyl Ethanol which was positive. During MR the doctor told me Ethanol tends to stick with RBC's for close to one month and hence the positive result. Has anyone experienced this with Ramp during evaluation? I am still in evaluation phase for 90 days. If yes...... what can I expect next as my CM is not really helpful. Any advice would greatly be appreciated.
  6. Siciliyisbest

    Scared to death

    WOW!!!!!!! I am speechless😱
  7. Siciliyisbest

    Non clinical nursing jobs

    catsmeow1972, BSN, RN- Seems like all these monitoring programs say one thing and do completely another thing. All so called "disciplinary actions against you not being public" so they say...... if you comply to their rigor programs. Think again🙄 Even if you comply 💯 you are still "publicly" displayed under "disciplinary action." Well honesty and integrity goes both ways
  8. Siciliyisbest

    Scared to death

    Vykingboy RN, What????? Why in the world BON will interrupt in your new career? Especially, when you don’t have to do anything with nursing or medicine. What was their explanation? Or let me take a guess.......🙄they didn’t need to explain or tell you anything!!!! This whole monitoring thing is suppose to be a rehab. I never have in my life so worried and stressed constantly. And, it’s over smallest ingredient in anything I use as not to have an incidental exposure. It truly is a nightmare!!!!!! I’m in midst of switching my career too. I didn’t know this was going to follow me with my next career!!!! UGH😞☹️😢😢😢
  9. Siciliyisbest

    Ramp in NJ- Why am I not surprised!!!!!!!

    I got an email yesterday. It’s prescriptive positive for Zoloft. Apparently, we have to update our prescriptions to them monthly🤷‍♀️ No one tells you anything in this program 😡
  10. Siciliyisbest

    Ramp in NJ- Why am I not surprised!!!!!!!

    Yes I contacted him. Not helpful at all:(((
  11. Siciliyisbest

    I'm free!! TPAN is over. Three years in the books

    You're hilarious😝
  12. Siciliyisbest


    Same here. I was an excellent nurse dedicated to my profession for 20 years. I could afford the expenses. But, I refuse to be treated so unjustly and unfairly from an institution which is not even run by nurses. There is zero empathy and its all about money and business for them. Yes, they did take away my livelihood but at least I have my self-respect and pride. I'm smart and extremely resilient. I can make $100,000 a year without my nursing degree. I rather keep my pride and enjoy my life and not wake up to their stupid check- ins every am. It was good as long as it lasted. Good luck to you my friend:)
  13. Siciliyisbest


    Why is NJ Ramp interested in DWI which one gets on their off time from work? In this state its not a criminal offense. It's a traffic offense unlike other states. Per Ramp it involves "public safety." If this is the case why do one still has their driver's license? Won't it make more sense for DMV to revoke driver's license then BON to revoke or mandate monitoring for an act one did on their leisure time? I totally understand and know that in all cases DMV will suspend driver's license for X amount of time, followed by expensive surcharges and interlock device monitoring. The mandating agency should be DMV ( once again I am just talking about NJ) for your DWI (alcohol) cases and not BON or Ramp. Can someone please explain me any rationale behind this? I am in Ramp at present time. All this does not make sense to me. More nurses are quitting this profession. And, programs like Ramp is not helping. I am all about supporting nurses/family/friends if there is an addiction problem. But, one time offense should not be punished this harshly. Especially, when the state itself does not view this as a criminal offense. If my co-worker or my employer had reported of any suspicious behavior at work then I 100% understand and can support BON and Ramp. But, for BON and Ramp to take such severe actions for first time offense during my off time is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. I do have a great attorney. But, from what I have been told it's not possible to fight either Ramp or BON. Time to look for another profession where we are not judged under a microscope for every tiny errors!!!!!
  14. Siciliyisbest

    Ramp in NJ

    Yes that's what I hear. The guidelines are so strict though. You can't use your hand sanitizer, hair sprays, eat penne with vodka sauce or chicken marsala and list goes on and on........ It seems like it's set to fail you. And all with your expense:(

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