Professionalism write up

[htrn]

Help - was written up for "unprofessionalism" & then terminated for the same write up a few days later (with no other incident). Termination aside, I am dealing with that in another venue :-) I am looking for courses, books, seminars, on-line classes that I can take or study that would prove that I am proactively trying to correct this problem. Have no idea how to address this with applications for other jobs or how to address this in an interview. Would love to say that I have done X,Y & Z to address this concern - but don't know where to start.

Thanks in advance. Allnurses is a life saver.

[CBsMommy]

OP -

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am another person who was born without the "filter" and feel that it is necessary to stand up for what I believe in to the fullest extent and it used to get me in trouble a LOT when I was younger. In fact, I've left meetings with management where I did not hold back and didn't care if I was fired.

Now that I am older and a little more mature, I still stand up for the things that I believe in however my approach is like night and day. If you want to to help yourself, I like the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People book or book on CD. This will help you in all aspects of your life. There is also the book called Lifescripts: What to say to get what you want in life's toughest situations. This is a great book, not only for nursing but in everyday life as well. Finally, when you feel yourself getting angry, step back from the situation and cool off (even if it takes a few days to do so). It takes practice but you will save yourself a world of heartache. Good luck in your future endeavors and hope that you can make some good come from a bad situation.

[indigonurse]

Could you please provide the details of what they wrote you up for? You could review the nursing practice act and brush up on any nursing skills that you think you are not proficient at.

[Katie5]

Could you please provide the details of what they wrote you up for? You could review the nursing practice act and brush up on any nursing skills that you think you are not proficient at.

I don't believe she should. She stated it was very embarrassing, so let's save her some more embarrassment.If we are to be helpful, can equally supply her with some info, broad maybe, but she can sift through them herself.

[GHGoonette, BSN, RN]

I admit that I suffer from a congenital lack of a filter that is worse at sometimes than others. This is what I want to be able to able to show significant personal growth on and am just not sure how to do it.

There is also a general concensus that, because I have been upset and vocal with administration about a certain issue pertaining to patient care, that it was a way to shut me up. I got a written warning that was very specific, and is very embarrassing, but did not negatively affect the patient. I was not given an opportunity or a plan for improvement and had not had another incident before being called in and terminated. The incident occured 20 days before it was even brought to my attention and 24 days prior to termination.

Was I wrong - yep. Do I want to fix the problem - yep. Do I need direction on where to start - uh huh.

Heh heh, yeah, there are ways and ways of saying things....I must assume you lost it slightly and put things a tad more bluntly than was prudent...

You have no idea how much I sympathize with you I would love to give my management a verbal digitus impudicus, but sometimes we need to bridle our tongues, and it is possible to convey a message diplomatically.

I do think they have treated you unfairly, and it may be a good idea to consult a legal expert regarding the manner in which you were dismissed; if you are a union member and have not consulted a union rep, I would suggest you do so as quickly as possible.

For your particular problem, I would suggest a course in interpersonal relationships, focusing specifically on the workplace. Forceful is good if the situation warrants it, but losing your temper, and being overly bombastic or using abusive language can be used as grounds for dismissal.

I must say, if I was your manager, I would have motivated to send you on such a course; it is my experience that the most vociferous employees are frequently those with the most potential-if they can only learn to stop tripping over their tongues...

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

You might benefit from a course/book that discusses assertive vrs aggressive discussion. Here's the thing...it feels great to tell people exactly how you feel, but in the long term it's self indulgent. You feel good for a short time, but they feel attacked, and can't process the fact that maybe they need to make a few changes for the good of the patient/unit. They are also angry with you, and now you have a target on your back.

For a good long term gain, take a moment and find a way to make them feel good about the comment you make. So flatter them a little, or say "I'm sure you didn't realize this, you are usually so knowledgeable," or get their input on an article you just read about a topic. Let them think the change was their idea. What matters is the change-not how much gratification you get from the conversation.

It takes time, because (for me at least) I need to back out of the conversation and think about what I want the result of the discussion to be. Then think about what conversation would get me to that goal. Someone might deserve to be called an egotistical, demeaning butthole, but telling them that will probably make their aggression worse. So you've got to calmly and gently tell them that "when you say/do xx, I feel yyy, and it would be helpful if you did zzz instead." There are lots of techniques to getting your point across.

Don't be surprised if this is a multistep multiday process to get a way to approach a jerk comfortably. It was for me, even with simple issues, but it gets easier. Then one day you bite your tongue because you know a really clever remark will mess up your chance to fix an issue. It's a worthwhile skill, and not brownnosing, as I thought in my twenties. Practice, and you'll be able to say what you need to and be satisfied, and your target will remain open to your input. Of course, they still may not change, but you've made your point.

[Old.Timer]

Do what a good friend of mine does, she says she prays for God to live in the space between her brain and mouth. :)

Seriously though, I feel for you. I too have been known to get quite indignant over something and then start popping off.

Google SSRI and anger management.