Previously failed nursing student needing advice

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Hello! I am seeking advice on what to do. I was previously dismissed from a nursing program due to not passing a course twice. Although there are specific life events that made this time difficult, I do not like being the kind of person to make excuses for my own failures. Anyways, I have since been accepted into another nursing program where I had to essentially start over. Since then I have become an A/B student and my instructors have nothing but nice things to say about me and the care I give.

My question is that if I should tell people that I had previously failed out of a nursing program. While I do not want to lie, I also would prefer not to be judged by this. Failing was painful enough to go through. I do not act like a "know it all" by any means, trust me I was very humbled by the experience of failing. But I do know a fair amount of nursing knowledge especially by this point, and there are a few students who struggle quite a bit that don't like me because of this (other student's observation, not mine). I just try to always do my best and focus on my education.

So, in your opinion, what do you recommend? Do I say nothing and just carry on and hope no one asks me? Or is it better to just let people know. I hate watching people struggle like I did and I do offer advice and show them how I study now. I just don't want to deal with people judging me. It would be really hard for me mentally to have that thrown in my face every time I do well on something. I have also continued to do extremely well on all of the new content I hadn't covered before. I should be proud of all the hard work I've put in and overcome. I'm here to learn and be successful, too.

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Specializes in Behavioral Health/Psychiatric Nursing.

I work with amazing nurses who failed programs at one point, and they're my best mentors now. Someone who is struggling might find comfort in knowing that you were once in their position, and you were able to develop better studying techniques and have previous knowledge. It's hard to fail out of a program and start from scratch, and you're a better person for it.

Anyone who judges anybody for wanting to better themselves has major issues, anyway. You deserve to be proud of the hard work you've put in.

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13 hours ago, hannah4832 said:

So, in your opinion, what do you recommend? Do I say nothing and just carry on and hope no one asks me? Or is it better to just let people know. I hate watching people struggle like I did and I do offer advice and show them how I study now. I just don't want to deal with people judging me. It would be really hard for me mentally to have that thrown in my face every time I do well on something. I have also continued to do extremely well on all of the new content I hadn't covered before. I should be proud of all the hard work I've put in and overcome. I'm here to learn and be successful, too.

It is a personal choice.

Your validation should come from your knowledge of your own efforts and improvements. You've already persevered and are succeeding and have learned something about life and about yourself. A sense of validation comes through positively accepting these things and acknowledging them to yourself--it will not reliably come from other people.

A good next thing to tackle would be to work on improving your internal response to the idea of others' approval or disapproval. You are you and they are them. ? Their opinions do not say who you are. In fact, others' opinions often say more about them than about the subject of the opinion (you).

Help people if they seem genuinely interested in your assistance. If you develop a friendship, you can encourage the person by sharing your story of perseverance if you wish. Don't worry about helping strugglers who begrudge you, and don't worry about sharing information with people who would only be interested in it for superficial reasons.

Best wishes for continued success ??

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I failed years ago and as we speak I’m currently retaking those failed courses. I already passed 3 of them and I got one more class to go. I’m doing better in every way even though I feel the program has gotten harder since then. A part of the reason I failed was because I took microbiology with these crazy nursing courses. I don’t tell anyone I failed but the students around me feel like I know too much and I’ve gotten looks like “how would I know this”? A lot of the program is the same and I already know what the material and lab skills are like so suppressing my knowledge can be a challenge sometimes. Even though I didn’t tell anyone in my class that I failed, I feel like I eventually would if I met the right person who needs motivation and advice.

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I say, tell them and say why you failed. If it can be put in a nutshell for example, I failed bc "I broke my leg" or "I didn't pass due to some personal circumstances" then, that isnt embarrassing and they cant judge. Failing happens all the time but, they dont get that yet. They might understand in a year or too about failing when it's them.

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I failed, well because I just did I suppose. I am a sexual assault surviver and at that point in time I was going through some pretty significant depression, anxiety, low self-esteem etc. Even though what happened was years ago, I had never spoken to anyone about it and it was catching up with me in my early 20s (I am now 24). I went from an A/B student, to failing. I am currently back in my last year, with only one more semester to graduate. I never told anyone in my class I was repeating because I did not wish to discuss the contributing factors to why I failed. I am doing much better now though, and will likely graduate with honors. Since then I have gone on to tudor several students and have been offered a RN job in critical care upon graduation. It is just obviously two very painful life events that I didn't think needed to be public knowledge at the time. I find myself wishing I had been honest from the get-go, but it was just hard. I do not want to be a "boo hoo look what happened to me" kind of person. But, there is value in sharing these things and letting other men and women know that they are not alone in either of these situations. This is obviously A LOT to share and is a difficult topic for most people to discuss openly.

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Specializes in RN, ambulatory OB care.

In my experience people will respect you for integrity and honesty. That is not saying you have to tell everyone everything but you will probably find out in the long run someone knew your history, or there was gossip out there about it. I was struggling w a new director after 10 yrs in a management position. Best decision I ever made was to step down and take a staff RN position. (and best conversation I ever had w a directer...and he is the one that allowed me to do this!) I often see past employees, and other managers and the direct, truthful approach works for me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and it turned out fine. (although for about a year I felt like a failure) I told people I was no longer effective in my role...truthful and not blaming or being angry at my director. it just was what it was... like I said, I have always gotten the furthest by being upfront and open... there were a million things I could have said- I was burnt out, I wasn't as popular as I once was, I had made enemies, I had pissed people off etc... all true, none necessary to tell everyone...

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Half your graduating class will either be a repeat or someone who was from some other major. It's not hard to mess up on nursing school, especially if you try to work more than two days a week. It's not anyone's business so why bother telling about it? I havent heard anyone talk bad about a repeat anyway, I admire someone who is determined to beat the odds even if it mean failing your way to success. Do you think the facebook man didnt program and reprogram until he had his software right? Keep going, good jobs are hard to find and healthcare is where its at if you want a job with a earned degree.

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I say it's none of their business but, if they ask you maybe then, you say yes, I have had prior experience in school and that's it. If they pry further, say you had things come up and it didn't work out. I failed out as well. I made it pretty far so it was hard. You've earned this time to shine.

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I’m not sure if any one still follows this post, but I just wanted to leave an update! I ended up graduating with honors and helped other nursing students succeed who were going through the same thing. I’ve worked covid now, and have since moved on to cardiac ICU. I even precept new nurses, believe it or not. 
 

Your kind words were helpful when I had no one else to ask. I hope others will find this thread as helpful as I have.  

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I just got your post via email so we can still see it. Also, good for you, as for me, I’m on my way to graduating so I hope I can have a happy ending as well.

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I’m currently where you were years or so ago. I don’t know how to feel or what to do besides to keep going and reflect on my mistakes so I won’t repeat history. In terms of keep going and finding a new school. How did that look for you? What did you do or what programs did you end up going to? We’re they BSN or ABSN programs? They they inquire about those failed courses? Did you apply as a transfer or freshman…so many questions…any help would be GREATLY appreciated!!

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