13 and pregnant....

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What a week this has been! I have had so many interesting patients - you know the ones that just stick with you? The other day mom brings in 13yo daughter b/c ongoing n/v for 3 weeks, states she thinks her daughter is pregnant. She was. It just broke my heart. I'm a mom of one teenage daughter and 3 teenage boys and right from an early age, have always been very open about sex, masturbation, birth control, abstinence, puberty - all of it. They can, and do, ask me whatever they want.

I'm certainly not naive, and know I'm not the norm (my ex-h won't even say the word "member", nevermind talk to the kids about sex!), but what really chapped my rear about this pt and her family, was when mom and step-dad wanted to talk to me privately. They wanted to know if *I* knew what schools were teaching girls about sex and pregnancy. I was admittedly a bit confused, as I'm an ER RN, and know nothing about their school. I asked them if their daughter knew about sex and birth control, etc. I was just shocked to hear from them that they didn't know, because THEY had never talked to her about it because sex education is "EDUCATION", it needs to be taught IN THE SCHOOL and NOT at home, and because of all the "new teenage sex stuff", the school is "better equipped" to teach it. They were blaming the school and educators for their daughters pregnancy and even mentioned the "sue" word a couple times. UGH!!

After a 10 minute conversation with this very nice, suburban, two-income, two-kids couple, I was just shaking my head at THEIR stupidity! I know we all get pt's every day that make us take pause and think "did that person REALLY think/do/say that???" but with all the access to EVERYTHING sexual -music, movies, internet, "sexting", drugs, you name it - I just cannot believe that they have never, ever, ever spoken to either of their kids about sex and expect the school to do it because "we pay our taxes for them to teach them what they need to know in the world".

Whose to say if the girl wouldn't have gotten pregnant with or without parental teaching, but at least she would have had a fighting chance.

Thanks for letting me vent! This has been bugging me all week. :o

Specializes in L&D, Maternal Fetal Medicine, LTC.

This post made me think back to a prior pt of mine. At my last job in Maternal Fetal Medicine---I cared for plenty of teenage pregnancies (mostly the older 15-16+)...but one pt that sticks with me was a tiny little 13 year old girl that we started on Non-stress Tests for a small baby. It took me about 2 weeks to realize (I didnt personally take care of her during this time) that she was actually 13 and that she had JUST turned 13 and was approx. 35 weeks pregnant at this time. I never really discussed the circumstances regarding conception (alot of the teenagers freely discussed these things with me--I think I kind of had a niche for the young girls--being that I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first/18 at delivery, I could relate). I had this gut feeling that she may have been raped--but she wasnt really our full-care OB pt and was strictly there for the NSTs so I didnt pry. I still think of her sometimes and hope all is well with her and her baby.

My children are young--4 and 5, but I am already as open as I need to be about genitals, somewhat about where babies "come from", etc. From exerience, the parents that are OVERLY open about sex (allow them to do whatver) or OVERLY controlling will push rebellion--a good middle ground is key. This is a frightening topic to think about, but will have to tackle sooner or later with my kids...WHEW!!

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