Pregnant and starting new job

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Well I'm leaving current job to go somewhere closer to home and I am 9 weeks pregnant. It was not planned I was drinking one night became unconscious and my so called friend decided he would take it upon himself to do what he wanted I have no memory of that night what so ever and I didn't tell my new job afraid they would not hire me now I have a physical and one of the questions asks if I'm pregnant or trying to get pregnant I am terrified to say anything I really need this job to support my family it's only me and my mom and she can't work I know people discriminate against pregnant women when hiring them I've seen it. When I can't hide it no more I'm just going to tell them I just found out I my periods are always light and I was getting them until last month and I went to doctors I discovered I was pregnant. I'm so stressed over this and abortion is not an option I just need advice and someone to talk to I'm so scared of them telling me to leave I know they can't directly fire you because of that but they can find something else or make something up. This job is even less demanding then the one I have now. I just don't know what to do and why is it anyones business if someone is trying to get pregnant

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

Hi, Jessica -

I think you have been through a lot and need more than we, anonymous strangers on the internet, can give.

Please seek counseling if you can.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I am sorry for what happened to you. But the larger question is not how this would affect WORK, but your overall MENTAL and EMOTIONAL wellbeing. And as said above, that is above our pay-grade as online participants on a nursing board. Please, seek counseling asap and address the emotional issues that go with becoming pregnant under such sorry circumstances.

I honestly wish you well.

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.

A. I'm sorry that happened to you.

B. I hope you went to the police. You still can if you didn't.

C. Don't lie. You're a grown up. If you're already hired & this is just a formality they cannot do a "takesies backsies" now. They know that would set them up for a huge law suit. Not telling them at the interview was fine. They can't ask about that kind of thing anyways. You were under no obligation to say anything.

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Specializes in Reproductive & Public Health.

I'm so sorry you are going through this :( I would hesitate to disclose a pregnancy prior to a signed and sealed job offer. Plenty of people don't find out they are pregnant until 12+ weeks, and many people choose to not disclose until they are in the second trimester and the risk of miscarriage has dropped. Probably unethical, but I would not answer the question on that form truthfully unless you are already 100% hired (assuming you are not taking a position that might require a modification of duties based on your pregnancy, like oncology or ID or something-in that case you really must disclose, for your own safety).

If you are already hired and this is just a formality, then go ahead and disclose- pregnant women are illegally discriminated against in the work force all the time, but it would be *really* hard for your facility to find an excuse to rescind your offer so soon after acceptance. Nursing is a female dominated profession, and in my experience pregnancy has never been an issue, even for new hires. But of course I work in women's health, so your mileage may vary.

You can do this. I promise. What happened to you is awful and wrong on so many levels. I hope you are able to reach out and find some support from your family or friends. It sounds like you are sure in your decision to carry this pregnancy- and you deserve to be able to enjoy the experience, even if you are (just like most women!!!) scared and overwhelmed and anxious. Don't let that a$$hole control your experience of this pregnancy. You can PM me anytime, Jessica.

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A. I'm sorry that happened to you.

B. I hope you went to the police. You still can if you didn't.

C. Don't lie. You're a grown up. If you're already hired & this is just a formality they cannot do a "takesies backsies" now. They know that would set them up for a huge law suit. Not telling them at the interview was fine. They can't ask about that kind of thing anyways. You were under no obligation to say anything.

I understand but I'll be on a 80 day probation and they can make up something to get rid of me. I'm terrified to say anything

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I'm so sorry you are going through this :( I would hesitate to disclose a pregnancy prior to a signed and sealed job offer. Plenty of people don't find out they are pregnant until 12+ weeks, and many people choose to not disclose until they are in the second trimester and the risk of miscarriage has dropped. Probably unethical, but I would not answer the question on that form truthfully unless you are already 100% hired (assuming you are not taking a position that might require a modification of duties based on your pregnancy, like oncology or ID or something-in that case you really must disclose, for your own safety).

If you are already hired and this is just a formality, then go ahead and disclose- pregnant women are illegally discriminated against in the work force all the time, but it would be *really* hard for your facility to find an excuse to rescind your offer so soon after acceptance. Nursing is a female dominated profession, and in my experience pregnancy has never been an issue, even for new hires. But of course I work in women's health, so your mileage may vary.

You can do this. I promise. What happened to you is awful and wrong on so many levels. I hope you are able to reach out and find some support from your family or friends. It sounds like you are sure in your decision to carry this pregnancy- and you deserve to be able to enjoy the experience, even if you are (just like most women!!!) scared and overwhelmed and anxious. Don't let that a$$hole control your experience of this pregnancy. You can PM me anytime, Jessica.

Thank you for commenting I am mentally ok I have a good support I wrote this to see if anyone in my position has gone through this I love what I do and I'm so excited to start my new job I was only 3 months post partum when this happened now all I cab think about is they are going to let me. Go during my 90 day probation and it scares me when I have this baby I will go back to work as soon as I am medically cleared I think this earliest I can go back is 4 weeks as long as I'm cleared. I've been offered the position but now I have.to go through the physical the drug screen all the preliminary stuff so I guess it's not 100% set in stone yet I'm just so scared to say anything

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This is tangential to the main subject, but if you are not going to go to the police, you nevertheless need to go after this *(&^% for child support. You will need the money, and the child is entitled to every dollar of it.

Get a lawyer. He/she will be able to advise you of all your rights in this difficult situation.

Good luck.

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.
I understand but I'll be on a 80 day probation and they can make up something to get rid of me. I'm terrified to say anything

I was visibly pregnant when I was applying for jobs before graduation. Even still, I didn't mention it. Didn't hinder me. If anything, I think your pregnancy will protect your job. I still say honesty is the best policy.

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

I'm sorry for your situation and send my best wishes to you and your baby.

One reason for the pregnancy question is that it may impact Occupational Health decisions regarding vaccinations, TB testing vs. chest X-ray and clinical placement in settings with high-risk exposure to teratogenic agents such as X-rays, chemotherapy and certain viral infections.

Please be honest.

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