Preceptor from hell- no more killing with kindness

steelydanfan · Jun 11, 2011

I recently started a position on a sub acute unit. The preceptor is very nasty. For example when she was told I had to shadow her without notice- all hell broke loose. I totally understand her being angry due to not having a notice but she did not have to react the way she did. There was a bunch of eye rolling, snide comments and rude tones. I have had the same thing happen to me and I did NOT respond like that, I made the best of the situation. Besides nurses must be flexible.
She then says " I know I'm rude and you don't have to wait for others to tell you that because I already know it"
Apparently I'm not the only one who has complained about her rudeness. The first day I tried to kill her with kindness but I'm not doing that tomorrow. I want her to start with me because I'm really not in the mood and I kind of just want to set her straight once and for all.
People only do what you allow them to do to you and I'm NOT going to allow her to treat me like this any longer.

OK, calm down.

This nurse did NOT want to be a preceptor, she was forced into the role, and your fabulous personality does not mean SQUAT to her. She TOLD you that when she said that "I know I am rude...."

You cannot remake other people into what you want them to be.

And where in the handbook is it written that "Nurses must be flexible".(Implied: "to everything")

Some people are NOT good at teaching, why do YOU think that they have to suddenly change thier stripes for YOU? You should be angry at the idiotic manager who for whatever reason paired you with a resistant and ineffective mentor. Talk to HER. Be mad at HER for not thinking your preceptorship through carefully.

Up2nogood RN, RN · Jun 11, 2011

update- When I arrived on the unit today she was much better. However, the supervisor pulled me from the unit and had me orient on a different unit with another nurse, until they talked to her about her behavior. Management has had previous complaints about this nurse so I guess they want to nip in the bud now. I was kind of blown. I wanted her to orient me because that will be my regular unit. I also feel like we are both adults and I could of handled her myself. I was prepared to run her down today but didn't get a chance too. he he. We will see how tomorrow goes when I actually will get a chance for her to precept me.

I really think if you're serious about "running her down" you may be out of a job. You're the new kid on the block, no matter how much of a witch you think she is.....she can still get you canned.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Jun 11, 2011

A few people have stated that you should fight fire with fire, more or less. Take a different, but firm approach. This nurse must view kindness as weakness. We have all met people like this. It isn't right, but it is real.

I have found that when I am being treated like a gnat by a preceptor, the best approach is to give it to 'em straight, "I can tell that you don't exactly love the fact that you have to precept me, and I feel your pain. I have been in your position as well. How about we just get through this as quickly as possible? The faster you can teach me where everything is, what the protocols are on this unit, and what the expectations are, the faster I will be on my own. Then we can BOTH precept new staff and you won't have to carry this burden all of the time."

She will more than likely respect your brutal but tactful honesty and get down to business instead of acting like a brat.

NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN · Jun 11, 2011

I really think if you're serious about "running her down" you may be out of a job. You're the new kid on the block, no matter how much of a witch you think she is.....she can still get you canned.

I was just joking ! Actually we had a beautiful day at work yesterday. She admitted that she her "big mouth" often gets her in trouble. No worries. :)

Up2nogood RN, RN · Jun 11, 2011

I was just joking ! Actually we had a beautiful day at work yesterday. She admitted that she her "big mouth" often gets her in trouble. No worries. :)

Yea, I was thinking you were just j/k. Really some people I've found that I've worked with lack that internal filter and are all bark/no bite.

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Jun 12, 2011

I understand everybody has a bad day but obviously she's not just having a bad day by her admittance "I know I'm rude".

She's having a bad life. And the more people entertain her behavior, the more she'll get away with it.

I am glad there was some intervention on the part of the nursing staff. There's nothing worse than a manager who enables that type of behavior. I had an experience as a clinical instructor where the NM did such a thing. There was a nurse on the floor who tried to bully me, questioning everything I did with my students, complained when meds were given 15 minutes after the hour, and told me "your students can't document b/c they don't know how to assess properly". The NM saw what was going on, and her solution was "can you not take the patients in that district" (always the one the nurse was in). It would have been great, in theory. But the reality was I had 9 students and this was a 14 bed unit. Long story short, that was the end of our stay on that unit (we were assigned a new one next semester).

There is no easy solution to the preceptor issue. I wish I knew why so many nurses do not want to precept (I know of some of the obvious reasons), and how to make it w win-win situation for new hires and those who want to precept. But in the meantime, we'll keep eating our young (and old, and less experienced), and tension will be high for everyone involved. :up: :up: