Preceptor from hell- no more killing with kindness

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Specializes in LTC.

I recently started a position on a sub acute unit. The preceptor is very nasty. For example when she was told I had to shadow her without notice- all hell broke loose. I totally understand her being angry due to not having a notice but she did not have to react the way she did. There was a bunch of eye rolling, snide comments and rude tones. I have had the same thing happen to me and I did NOT respond like that, I made the best of the situation. Besides nurses must be flexible.

She then says " I know I'm rude and you don't have to wait for others to tell you that because I already know it" :confused:

Apparently I'm not the only one who has complained about her rudeness. The first day I tried to kill her with kindness but I'm not doing that tomorrow. I want her to start with me because I'm really not in the mood and I kind of just want to set her straight once and for all. :mad:

People only do what you allow them to do to you and I'm NOT going to allow her to treat me like this any longer.

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Hmmm....I hope good will finds you:)

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

Being your preceptor is probably the last thing, in a long list of things, this nurse has been made to do and didn't want to. She's probably overworked, overlooked, and overwhelmed. It's no excuse for bad behavior, but it is a reason.

You want her to treat you kindly and fairly. Not an unreasonable expecation.

Have patience. You WILL be in her shoes sooner than you think.

Good luck.

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I see a lot of these demon preceptor threads. Makes me nervous, cuz I've yet to reach that part.

Hope your day is better tomorrow. :) shoot, she might shock you to death and apologize. Hey, its rare but it it happens!

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

I had one of these about 20 years ago. I was orienting in a large level 3 NICU which was chronically understaffed. My preceptor was recently divorced and I was her 13th orientee that summer.:eek: Needless to say, she had little use for me. Which didn't help me get adjusted, that's for sure. Miss Priss went on vacation about halfway through and a new preceptor took me on. She was everything my old preceptor was not, a really good teacher. So in the end, it was all good. But the first 5 weeks, not so much.

Good luck. Try to be civil. You're both in a difficult spot. Don't make it worse than it already is. You can do your job with dignity. As she said, everybody already knows she's rude. Just try to do your best to to return tit for tat. :twocents:

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Lovejoy, you go GET SOME Girl!

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Specializes in LTC.
Being your preceptor is probably the last thing, in a long list of things, this nurse has been made to do and didn't want to. She's probably overworked, overlooked, and overwhelmed. It's no excuse for bad behavior, but it is a reason.

You want her to treat you kindly and fairly. Not an unreasonable expecation.

Have patience. You WILL be in her shoes sooner than you think.

Good luck.

That is it. I HAVE been in her shoes. Do a search and you will find when I was a new grad of two weeks training another new grad. I often had no notice and had to make the best of it. I know what it is liked to be over worked, overwhelmed and etc. She has no choice but to train me. All the other nurses are either agency or PRN.

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Specializes in Cardiac.

I think you should set her straight. Let us know what goes down.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatric, Hospice.

Hmm, she might even start to like you if you give it right back to her! It's weird what makes some people tick..

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
That is it. I HAVE been in her shoes. Do a search and you will find when I was a new grad of two weeks training another new grad. I often had no notice and had to make the best of it. I know what it is liked to be over worked, overwhelmed and etc. She has no choice but to train me. All the other nurses are either agency or PRN.

Usually the things we have no control over make us the most angry. Don't take her treatment of you personally. You know she's not mad at you. I have no suggestions about how to make the situation better as far as your preceptor goes. You're the only one who can make it better. But declaring war will serve no purpose.

I almost always give my fellow nurse a pass on bad behavior......cause she's part of my family. Cheesey I know.:uhoh3:

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Specializes in Med Surg.

You only get run over if you allow youself to be run over. Take her down.

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Specializes in Telehealth, Hospice and Palliative Care.

I had almost this exact same experience at a clinic a year ago. It was not my primary preceptor but I was to spend a few days with her and they gave her no notice. I ignored her behavior that first day and let her have her space, working more closely with another nurse in the department.

The next day she apologized profusely. It turned out it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her being a type A control freak over her workspace. She ended up being one of my favorite nurses...what was a detriment when it came to precepting was an asset with regard to her ownership of her role and attention to detail.

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