Those friends who are now in nursing school

MikeyJ, RN · Nov 1, 2006

Gosh. I'm a soooo guilty of doing this! The reason? I can't carry other students to the Boards. I no longer have the time or the patience to listen to the handful of students that I considered "friends" in the prereq portion of school. It was fine during A&P - didn't make or break my grade. I've disassociated from the ones that gossip, don't prepare and waste valuable class/clinical time - then expect me to tutor them or worse give them answers. I just can't be bothered anymore and I've worked too long and hard. Let it be known, these same students have had to repeat SEVERAL courses before being accepted into the program.

I completely understand your reasoning, Kharing. I also try to distant myself from those that bring me down, or those that just don't care about school in general and have to constantly repeat their courses.

In my case, it is the complete opposite. The only reason I am not joining my friends in their 1st semester of nursing school is because I simply have one pre-req that I couldn't fit in anywhere else, thus I had to wait an extra semester. I did better than most of my friends in my pre-req class, so they aren't distancing themselves because I would in some way "bring them down." They just simply distance themselves from me and don't really give me the time of day. One of them doesn't even have the decency to email me back. I have emailed her a few times since the semester began asking her how she likes nursing school and how she is managing the stress in her life. However, she has never emailed me back. I guess I have lost some friends and hopefully when I enter the program, I will have the generosity to say "hi, how are you" to those students whom I have spent time with before nursing school.

kharing · Nov 2, 2006

People do grow apart...sorry about the loss of your friend/s. I just wanted to let you know my reasons for avoiding students in my school....it works for me. They may think I'm being snobby, but too bad - I have my eyes on the prize!!! I am respected by the patients I serve, my professors and instructors because I pay attention and ask questions. I focus on learning the material - and with a 25% drop out rate, I want to make sure I don't get caught up in some mess.

Also keep in mind cliques still form once you get to clinicals. (In fact they've been notoriously brutal around these parts!) I was told that several graduating classes before mine had all sorts of drama - some leading to legal action, fights and threats of restraining orders. I just want to keep out of it and focus on my own progress. Plus I have a no tolerance policy towards petty stuff.

Lastly, your "friend" may have changed her email address - if she is truly ignoring you - consider it her loss.

lisabeth · Nov 2, 2006

I understand exactly what you mean. I am a single mom, so no husband around to feel neglected, and my daughter is not just a daughter. She is a little friend too. Pretty much, she goes where ever I go, and none of my friends has had any problem with that, so when I say take time, I mean I take time for her and my friends. I know that not everyone has has it that easy. It wouldnt be so easy if I had a boy because he wouldnt want to hang with us, but I consider that just another benefit of my situation. I would have to say if I were married, I would definitly put family first, just as you said, but an occasional night out with the girls is nice too.

I know I think that too but whatever time I take to be with friends takes away from my family and they are by far more important to me. I always feel guilty about my friends but I have found my true friends work around me, and understand that i need to devote my free time to studying and taking care of my family. My best friend knows I like to take my dog out for a walk daily so it is our oppurtunity to be together she makes the effort to be where I am going to be. As far as dinners and things well there are always vacations and summer, heck I don't even get to have dinner out with my husband LOL.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Nov 2, 2006

sistermike. . .at 22 years old you are learning a lesson about people that is going to serve you well for the rest of your life. It takes time to learn and evaluate people. We all put our best foot forward when meeting others. Only time tells what a person's true character is, and even then you can't always be sure that someone is going to be a "keeper". It's disappointing, I know, to have lost these friendships. But, you will, I promise, meet hundreds of other interesting people throughout your life. It is very rare to maintain contact with friends over an entire lifetime.

As for these people who have developed an "attitude" and are giving you a cold shoulder, well, that's sounds like a lot of immaturity on their part to me. What does it take to be cordial and just smile and acknowledge someone? As a manager of many years, that could translate to poor customer service to me. Nursing is a profession of people helping and interacting with people. If someone is capable of snubbing out a colleague over something like their rank in a nursing program it doesn't say much about their personality to my way of thinking. They are going to be the first ones complaining when some older experienced nurses won't give them the time of day. It will be their just deserts. Be the one to break the mold and don't do this when you get to their position.

ChargeNurseAmy74 · Nov 2, 2006

sistermike. . .at 22 years old you are learning a lesson about people that is going to serve you well for the rest of your life. it takes time to learn and evaluate people. we all put our best foot forward when meeting others. only time tells what a person's true character is, and even then you can't always be sure that someone is going to be a "keeper". it's disappointing, i know, to have lost these friendships. but, you will, i promise, meet hundreds of other interesting people throughout your life. it is very rare to maintain contact with friends over an entire lifetime.
as for these people who have developed an "attitude" and are giving you a cold shoulder, well, that's sounds like a lot of immaturity on their part to me. what does it take to be cordial and just smile and acknowledge someone? as a manager of many years, that could translate to poor customer service to me. nursing is a profession of people helping and interacting with people. if someone is capable of snubbing out a colleague over something like their rank in a nursing program it doesn't say much about their personality to my way of thinking. they are going to be the first ones complaining when some older experienced nurses won't give them the time of day. it will be their just deserts. be the one to break the mold and don't do this when you get to their position.

agreed, daytonight! people can at least show some sort of acknowledgement..i think it will prove out in the years to come of their "new found" attitudes. take care..

nurse2bamy

sameasalways, ASN, RN · Jan 1, 2008

Wow great posts. I am kind of an airhead admittedly. I have a family and 2 kids. When I am in nursing school, my friends and school get most of my time and they definitely get my quality time compared to my family. When I am on vacation, I totally veg out, sleep in until noon, lounge around w/my kids and pretty much be a hermit. I don't have enough money to go goofing off anyway. I look at it as recharge time for when school's next semester starts. I never ever even considered that my friends might be thinking I am "blowing them off". I hope they don't think that. But then, they know how to pick up the phone just as easily as I do, so I don't think any of us feel this way about eachother. We are all just so busy.

BethT · Jan 2, 2008

I kinda have that same problem...I have this girl that I met at school and we talk at school and study together, yada yada but when we are on break she doesn't return my phone calls.... oh well.

we are supposed to be trying to get into nursing school at the same time... wonder what that will be like, lol