Anyone else face alot of opposition going back to school from loved ones?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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:angryfire :o I get so aggravated with my fiance. Here is the situation. We just moved across state last summer. He is a pharmacy student and I relocated with him to have more oppurtunities for an education and better job prospects than what I had upstate. I have returned to college full time and working part time and granted I don't have a buttload of money to give him, I keep my basic bills paid. He pays the rent and utilities. I buy my own groceries. Tonight, we got in a fuss b/c he had to replace the brake pads on my car since I have been laid off from my prior job and am seeking another job and at the rate that we are spending we will be broke. Nevermind that he just bought a new 27 inch television and laser printer to use. No one held a gun to his head and made him buy it!!! He keeps bringing it up how selfish it was returning to school and not working some god awful $7.00 an hour job full time and how I need to rethink my options. I pulled a 4.0 last quarter and am damn proud of myself. I get soooooooooooooo tired of this same argument with him about how you can't get by on 7.00 an hour. He came from a more fortunate background and never had to work like that. He had his parents to help him through college for undergraduate school. I keep telling him that by me returning to school to get an associates degree I am almost tripling my earning potential in the near future and that I could finally get my credit cleaned up to be able to get normal "adult" things. He doesn't understand my frustration of having had lived poor most of my life and not being able to afford basic necessities of living. An education is something I have learned is a precious gift you can only give yourself and that no one can take away. I had to get this off of my chest. He says that I am being selfish and that I should have helped all I could while he went to school and that I should have waited till he graduated. Why not go now and get it out of the way instead of having to wait until I am 100 years old to pursue a education. I don't have any kids and I don't have a lot of debt at this time in my life. Sometimes he gets so self absorbed about him (grew up the only child in his family) that he gets pig headed and acts like what I want to do with my life is not important. I refuse to give up what is making me happy to work a thankless, poverty level wage, slave job!!!!!!!

I totally understand what you guys mean. I was an overachiever in high school but several life changes happened to me in my last two years of high school my parents got divorced, it got so ugly that at one point I was going to have to testify against my father about some things. At that point my mom just gave in and settled for basically nothing since I was having such a hard time of it. My grades went down, I was asked to leave the dance team that I was on and had worked so hard to get on because of my grades. My confidence just went down totally to zero because I was so ashamed of my father doing what he had done (basically had multiple affairs then proceeded to get an STD and then lied about it. My mom finally figured it out!) And not to mention that my dad had no problem bringing around the young woman later on his second wife to my school functions which just made me very embarassed. She was young enough to be my older sister. Anyways long story short my dad got sick my senior year with a relapse of cancer and then three months after I graduated and was due to start college in a week he died. I had gotten close to him and had forgiven him for all the things he had done since he sincerely seemed to regret it. I became his primary care taker some days when I lived with him in the summer time. But then after he died I went into a huge depression that I am just now getting over due to a lot of medication problems and setbacks nearly two and half years later. I am now in the process of going back to school to become a nurse and so far my husband is very supportive but he kind of has the attitude when you actually apply and complete a semester I will believe that you mean what you say. I just got married too about 9 months ago and am dealing with the stress of trying to be the perfect wife and housekeeper and all of that. My mom is basically the same way and she has said are you sure this is what you want to do and has said comments like how are you going to pay for this since your husband barely makes enough to support you two and you don't even work. My mom is usually my biggest supporter and so it's kind of hard to listen to her saying stuff like that. People right now are asking her about me and asking if I am almost finished with college and she just tells them no and they are in shock. It really hurts my feelings when my mom tells me about these situations that she has encountered. So I am not feeling very confident right now but I am determined since I want to make something of myself and help people. The nurses that took care of my father in his last days at the hospital were a godsend. He sooo appreciated them and so did I. They were compassionate and very loving but at the same time professional. I admire them for what they were doing and hope someday to be doing it myself in about 4 or 5 years since I am applying to TWU in Denton since I grew up in the area. In other words don't give up guys!!! Believe in yourselves!! This website and forum has helped me so much in the past few days that I have discovered it! Thanks so much guys!!

Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.

LPN and Blondie...YOu can do this...i have been going to school for most of my married life (and my engagement). I have hit several obstacles on the way, but with time, got over them. My attitude toward dh is that you knew this when you signed on, get over it!!:chuckle Seriously, he doesnt say much against me being in school..enjoyed the extra $$$ when i went from LPN-RN. he does, however sabotage me when i am doing homework...interrupting, talking to me, coming in the room ,etc...like one of the kids...only they know better!!:rolleyes:

My 11 y.o. daughter is starting to feel anxious about me going to school full-time next year. I know we'll all get through it, but we have to support each other.

Specializes in Lactation Ed, Pp, MS, Hospice, Agency.
I totally understand what you guys mean. I was an overachiever in high school but several life changes happened to me in my last two years of high school my parents got divorced, it got so ugly that at one point I was going to have to testify against my father about some things. At that point my mom just gave in and settled for basically nothing since I was having such a hard time of it. My grades went down, I was asked to leave the dance team that I was on and had worked so hard to get on because of my grades. My confidence just went down totally to zero because I was so ashamed of my father doing what he had done (basically had multiple affairs then proceeded to get an STD and then lied about it. My mom finally figured it out!) And not to mention that my dad had no problem bringing around the young woman later on his second wife to my school functions which just made me very embarassed. She was young enough to be my older sister. Anyways long story short my dad got sick my senior year with a relapse of cancer and then three months after I graduated and was due to start college in a week he died. I had gotten close to him and had forgiven him for all the things he had done since he sincerely seemed to regret it. I became his primary care taker some days when I lived with him in the summer time. But then after he died I went into a huge depression that I am just now getting over due to a lot of medication problems and setbacks nearly two and half years later. I am now in the process of going back to school to become a nurse and so far my husband is very supportive but he kind of has the attitude when you actually apply and complete a semester I will believe that you mean what you say. I just got married too about 9 months ago and am dealing with the stress of trying to be the perfect wife and housekeeper and all of that. My mom is basically the same way and she has said are you sure this is what you want to do and has said comments like how are you going to pay for this since your husband barely makes enough to support you two and you don't even work. My mom is usually my biggest supporter and so it's kind of hard to listen to her saying stuff like that. People right now are asking her about me and asking if I am almost finished with college and she just tells them no and they are in shock. It really hurts my feelings when my mom tells me about these situations that she has encountered. So I am not feeling very confident right now but I am determined since I want to make something of myself and help people. The nurses that took care of my father in his last days at the hospital were a godsend. He sooo appreciated them and so did I. They were compassionate and very loving but at the same time professional. I admire them for what they were doing and hope someday to be doing it myself in about 4 or 5 years since I am applying to TWU in Denton since I grew up in the area. In other words don't give up guys!!! Believe in yourselves!! This website and forum has helped me so much in the past few days that I have discovered it! Thanks so much guys!!

I too lost my dad(brain canc)! Three 1/2 yrs ago. My mom passed 7 1/2 yrs ago (br canc). I am no stranger to deepression for lose of a family member. My dad was so proud of me when he found out I was going back to school. I know that it is something that he and my mom always dreamed about for one of us (3 kids). I graduated w/my AA & AGE that next spring (7m later). I know that him and my mom were smiling down on me. I will grad in 3 1/2 m now w/my BS in Health Ed (returning next fall for my BSN, long story), and I am planning to have as my sister out this time (and my friends that have supported me all this time!). The only ones missing; mom and dad (but HEY they get a great view!). Hang in there! If u want to talk PM me!

~MJ

(still dreaming Nursing dreams)

please DO NOT give up your education and future for ANYONE! He can drop out of pharmacy school if he is so worried about money. You do not have to be the one to make the sacrifice, you already made one by moving away with him. if he expects you to put up with his 4-8 years of school (i don't know how many he has left) then he can put up with your 1-2 years.

DO NOT QUIT SCHOOL!!!! I stuck it out years ago and I had lots of flack from everyone, just before I finished hubby was hurt and that injury turned into something even more serious. Bottom line is, for years I supported a family. Even if you and this guy do not stay together you have a right to do what you want to do, and if going to school is what makes you happy then go to school. The future is uncertain, so try and prepare for it as best you can. School/education is the best way to have a better life. Good luck and do not give in and quit school. You will be glad one day you finished and so will he or the man you do marry.

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