...I'm about to cry

  1. I have got over the major hurdles...quit my job, moved back in with my father, my 2 year old daughter, selling my house in December, etc.

    I started my pre-req's for a BSN...I had to take College Chemistry I, A Logic (Philosophy course...we do nothing but add A & B and see if it's true or not...extremely difficult course because we have a test every day) an Economics course...no texbook, just a bunch of online websites with so much info I can't print it all...extremely time consuming, and a Child Psychology course which normally wouldn't be a big deal other than the fact we have an exam every WEEK....he goes over a chapter one day, we have the exam the next...if he can't get through it, he pushes it back on us.

    My tutor for my chemistry isn't showing up, and it took me 2 weeks to get one. I have my first Chem exam next week, and I have been lost since we started naming Chemicals, it's a ton of material for only 3 chapters...and I got a 70 on my last logic quiz...and we tested on material today that he never reviewed.

    I spoke to my Dad about it today, who is helping me financially, he is 77, and his response? I'm not going to live forever.

    I'm about to quit and go on welfare and give up on school...
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    About maryshome8

    Joined: Jul '06; Posts: 128; Likes: 1

    32 Comments

  3. by   Jilaweez
    I have felt like that soooo many times. It seems like every time I take one step forward I hit a roadblock, but I keep pushing through them somehow. It is early in the semester and everything is probably so overwhelming, once you fall into a system you'll get a handle on it. Don't give up, just do your best....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
  4. by   tofutti
    Mary, it sounds like a really heavy courseload.:uhoh21: I know I couldn't take all those classes and do well. Can you drop anything? Hope it works out, take care.

    Tofutti
  5. by   RebeccaJeanRN
    Mary,the problem with getting so overloaded is that it seems like the only recourse is to quit it ALL and run...but that is NOT your only recourse. You really should look into lightening your school load right now, if at all possible. Your cup runneth over...since you can't do anything about selling your house, living with your father, or having a 2 year old daughter...then you need to address the one thing in your absolute control: your school class load. Let one of those courses go! And as for continuing on for BSN, you can do it- you CAN. This is just one of those low points where you wonder if you can and if its worth the effort. We are all here to tell you - YES !!! (just take it a tiny bit slower, for your own health and so that you have enough strength to share some smiles with your daughter too!)
  6. by   ZASHAGALKA
    'Fight or Flight' is a basic protective instinct. But, the SAME instinct that makes you think of flight CAN be channeled into fighting for what you want.

    When we don't have the choice of 'flight', humans are ferociously focused creatures. And really, do you have the choice of flight? The alternatives you mention are no choice at all.

    Nothing worth having is easy to gain. Use those feelings and the fortitude within you to rise to the challenges before you. I can't tell you how many times the only thing that kept me going was the sheer will to believe, "I can do this." Even when I didn't believe that, it was my ever repeated mantra.

    By all means, drop a class if that will make your plate less full. Interface with your instructors. They know which students are blowing off classes and which ones are struggling but involved. And believe it or not, there are normally points involved with being a fighter. They really do want to bring along the students that are actively trying. And, they might have tutor and TA resources to aid you.

    Good luck.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
  7. by   Princess74
    Hang in there, It only gets worse once you start the nursing program so you have to learn to manage your time now. You can do it, do not give up. There are lot of students here who feel the same way that you do at times. It's not easy and I wont lie to you, it doesn't get any easier but when you are finished you will be glad and it will all be worth it. Try taking less credit hours. Thats a huge load that your taking.
    Last edit by Princess74 on Sep 14, '06
  8. by   weetziebat
    Chemistry, Philosophy, Economics AND Psychology?!!! And you wonder why you feel overwhelmed? You truly need to drop the most difficult course for you right now so you can concentrate on the others. Otherwise you may just get to the point of dropping the entire program, and that would be a mistake.

    It may seem like a step backwards, but sometimes you have to take things more slowly than you'd like in order to survive. Hang in there - with one less class it may make all the difference in the world.

    Good Luck!
  9. by   mermaid36
    hey you,

    the last thing you want to do is quit everything! and welfare? you'll never get to where you want to be! it keeps you in near poverty forever, which you don't want for you or your child, and i would imagine that's part of the motivation for choosing nursing as a new career path-it's one of my reasons! i've never achieved financial independence-always relying on dad or husband, soon to be ex, who has been holding me financial hostage since march. ugh!

    i know you want to get the prereq's done and over with-the sooner to get into the actual nursing program, right? me too! but i agree with the others who suggested that you ease your load. that would be smart!!! not lazy or weak or whatever-you are overwhelmed and you sound just like me! but thanks to this site, i've gotten so much encouragement. don't give up, just make your course load more manageable -small steps to reach a short-term goal. one day at a time! you will do it! having a 2 year-old as well -whew! give yourself a break lady!!!!:wink2:

    you're not alone-and we can do it!!!!umpiron:
    take good care of you,
  10. by   Tweety
    Good advice so far. Hang in there and don't give up.
  11. by   maryshome8
    I appreciate the advice....even though my father is helping me, in some ways, he's the biggest reason that I am feeling overwhelmed.

    When I moved back, he was supposed to help me with finding a babysitter so he won't have to take care of my daughter...now keep in mind, he's 77, but he has the health of a 50 or 55 year old man. He has lived here for 60 years, I haven't lived in this area in 20 years...I am at the school about 30 hours a week, he isn't...he hasn't picked up the phone to call one person to find out if someone else can help me with child care.

    He keeps telling me: I can't sit here with the baby all day. So I give up study time to come home, and with a 2 year old...you can NEVER study b/c she has already had her nap when I come home.

    He also keeps telling me (because I'm not working)...I'm not going to live forever so you had better figure out a way to make this work.

    It's going to take me 3 years...that is why I have the courseload I do. If one thing falls out of sequence, it will take me 4.

    I'm 37, so I keep feeling that I am racing against a clock to get this done.

    We have 2 daycare centers here...and both of them were so filthy and nasty I wouldn't board a dog there much less leave a child.

    Everytime I get up to leave to go to the library or something he's like, "are you leaving again?"

    He won't keep her out of my way when I'm here, so I have to leave to study, and then gets mad when I do.

    By the way...I have a BS in Psychology already, I only had a 2.1 when I graduated 12 years ago..so I'm really trying to demonstrate that my academic abilities have changed....this SAME FATHER who kept complaining that I didn't apply myself enough...is now complaining about how much time it takes...he's never been to college, so he doesn't know that sometimes your biggest issues is a poorly trained professor and not even the course material.
  12. by   traumaRUs
    Okay - while its wonderful that your father is helping you, I'm sure its been a long time since he was around an active 2 y/o. What about the daycare at the college? There is usually a bulletin board at the college too for babysitting services. What about pre-school for your daughter? That would get her some socialization skills while giving Dad a break. Another thought might be to talk around school that you need help...sometimes that results in a friend of a friend who can help out.

    Other options - put up a notice on the college bulletin board that you are needing daycare.

    I know that you are overwhelmed - your post clearly states that. Please look for some alternatives so that when your father is caring for your daughter, their time is enjoyable.
  13. by   Princess74
    Many Churches have preschool/daycare programs, check out the ones in your area. It can't be easy for your dad to keep up with a two year old at his age.
    I am in the same boat as you, although I do not have a child (and I know that makes a huge difference) I got divorced after 10 years and moved back home with my parents. My Dad passed away a year later so its just me and my mom now, she is in her 70's also. I started out going for my BSN and also tried to work. My course load was way to heavy and I ended up dropping Chemistry. I took prereqs for a year, tried to work and yep, my moms was always telling me that she wasn't going to live forever. She still tells me that, but it is true. If something happens to her I would not be able to support myself so I decided to apply for the LPN program. I will be finished a lot sooner and at least if something does happen to my mom I will be able to take care of myself. I wont be rich but I will atleast be able to afford an apt and food. As soon as I finish up with my LPN program I am going back to finish the final two semesters of prereqs for my RN and then will start the bridge program. It really is not taking me any longer then it would have to go straight BSN. I don't know if its an option for you but its something that you could think about. Whatever you do, hang in there. You will find a way. We are here to give you support.
  14. by   RebeccaJeanRN
    Hi Mary- wow...lots of frustrations!! Perhaps best to take into your own hands the babysitting search and accept the fact that your father, even with the 'health of a 50 year old', is not going to offer the support you hoped for and planned on, no matter what his original promises. If you stop expecting anything more from him, other than a roof over your head, then I hope you can stop being constantly frustrated by expecting him to be different than you already must know him to be. Also, I too once had a toddler and tried to juggle study time at the same time...you can do it- but it requires great organization in your life as well as planning for happy playful time with your daughter and helping her to meet new little friends (local park to play?). The problem, the way I see from the outside looking in, is that you are playing 'beat the clock' to finish as fast as you can, while you withstand living with your father as the price to pay and while trying to parent a young child. What stress! I do understand that (been there, done that...way back in time. and by the way, stop thinking that 37 is so old, I just got my RN at the tender young age of 49!), but you might benefit if you look at this as something that is going to take a LONG while (so its less stress to try not to think about it like a race or you'll burn out), accept that your father will probably not be the support you hoped, and keep in mind always that your daughter needs you too and these next few years of time with her can never be had again. You know, that old time-worn prayer might apply just about NOW...Lord grant me the courage to change the things that I can, the strength to accept the things that I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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