Positive I'm about to get fired

[TurtleCat]

So I'm working in LTC and have been off orientation for a few days now. I've been feeling like a nervous wreck the whole time. I'm still extreeeeemely slow and always running behind in my workload when all the other aides just fly through it. On top of that, it seems like I constantly make careless mistakes. I feel like an incompetent idiot and like I'm never gonna get this. I used to want to be an RN, well, forget that, considering I can't even do a relatively simple job there's no way I'm cut out to be an RN. I'm just waiting for my termination call since I know it's coming.

I've been having a hard time adjusting. My first two nights they put me on a section with a woman who was really emotionally abusive. She would tell me I was an idiot and didn't know what I was doing, would threaten to report me if I so much as touched her and then threaten to report me for neglect if I didn't. She would do things like lie and say I left soap on her and still need to wash it up, just anything to keep me in her room for as long as possible. I came close to just breaking down and crying so many times in her room. I would end up spending half the night in her room just trying to get her to cooperate, and before I knew it I'd be running behind in the rest of my assignment. I explained the difficulty I was having with her to my supervisors and it seems like, at least for now, they're giving me a different section.

So I was working last night and I was assigned hall feeding. I'm used to passing out trays in the dining room and hall assignment is a bit harder than DR. Anyway, I was passing out the trays and I made a STUPID STUPID mistake. For one of the residents, I was having trouble lowering his bedside table after I set his tray up, and apparently it was too high up for him to reach and he accidentally spilled water on himself trying to get to it. My partner got mad at me and accused me of spilling it on him myself (which I did NOT do) and we had to do a whole bed change on him. I just felt so stupid that I couldn't even get a simple thing like lowering a bed table right. If my mistake hadn't been caught, the resident might not have been able to get to eat because his table was out of reach. On top of that, I take forever feeding and passing out the trays and I know the other aides wonder *** is wrong with me because I take so long. They're already all done feeding and picking up the trays and are putting their residents back to bed, and I'm still in the process of feeding. One of the nurses is always talking down to me and giving me dirty looks, even though I smile at her and try to be friendly.

I just know at this point that they're gonna say it's too much trying to work with me and train me, that I'm a clueless idiot and just not gonna get it, and fire me. I'm PRN so I don't know my schedule for the upcoming week, but I'm sure I'm not on it at this point. I've been extremely depressed and have constant nightmares about work. I'm just tired of feeling like a huge failure and like I'll never get anywhere in life and never be good enough for anything more than flipping burgers. It seems like any good job I get, I lose.

[mvm2]

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. You have had it so tough these past few months. The high pace work in LTC is not for everyone, and I feel I am one of them as well that would not be able to handle it. I give you credit for trying it twice. BUT this does mean you could not be a wonderful CNA. Have you ever thought of Home Care. It is so wonderful to be helping your clients out and being the caring person I know you are, without all the pressures and running around like a chicken. Also many times you are with your clients alone so you don't have other people breathing down your neck making you more nervous and upset. I'd check it out. It might be just the right fit for you

[Career2_BSN, BSN]

You're new. I have a feeling your aren't as bad as you think you are. You've just had a rough start and you're concerned about doing a good job so any mistakes seem to be glaringly obvious to you.

Every employer understands that there is a learning curve and people pass that curve at different paces. Sure, co-workers will get aggravated but they're aggrivated with the situation (being slow and making mistakes), they aren't necessarily aggravated with you. As you gain speed and accuracy, you'll start to fit in better.

Yes, Home Health is an option (one I may consider as well). I'm in a CNA program now so you're ahead of me on the CNA front but I've worked for 20 years in other professions, including HR, and understand that these things take time and you will get better.

Hang in there!

[caskey09]

I understand how you are feeling but you are being wayyy too hard on yourself!!! You are only a few days off of orientation! I know how you feel because I am in training too...just graduated from my class today. I also have had a rough start too...I hurt my back on the second week of clinicals and had to go on light duty and have workers comp pay for my doctors visit. I was highly embarrassed that I was the new girl and already hurt myself...but it happens all the time! Just like you being new and making mistakes...so does that!!!

There have been people who have been really understanding to me being new and others who are mean and seem irritable. Some nurses just think that they are better than you but thats because they are getting **** on too and have allowed themselves to get bitter. I honestly think that you are going to be on that next schedule and are just being super hard on yourself. your nervousness and low confidence is what is making you have those little slipups...just allow yourself to be new and ask a ton of questions. Also remember that because you are PRN it will take you longer to train and adjust to your floor. Every single person around you has been new at one point or another. Don't give up!!! We have all been there. Hang in there!!!!! :) :)

[blondebabe0625]

At my long-term care facility we have a resident who I put on the toilet and gloved up and then she goes "I'm going to be a whole so go do something else and ill call you." I took my gloves off and said "okay. Ill be back here when you call." And helped escorting residents back from the dining room. She called. I was in her bathroom answering her call within a minute. As soon as I walked in, she shouts, "Where were you? I have been calling you for the past thirty minutes!" I said "I was in the hallway." She goes " NO YOU WEREN'T. I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THIRTY MINUTES" I said "it wasn't even two minutes" she goes "you're a liar. I'm going to report you." I said "okay." She goes, "you're nothing but a damn spook!" I said, "What did you call me?" She went silent. I asked again, " what did you just say?" Still silent then she says "let's go" ugh. How is this abuse okay?

I told the med aid she goes " I wouldn't worry about it. She's 'reported' me like 12 times "

[blondebabe0625]

You're doing great. Other coworkers will try and ruin your confidence.

[WannaBNursey, ADN, ASN, RN]

Some of this stuff is just ridiculous! I don't think management is actually going to believe that you spilled water on a patient on purpose! That's so silly, and such a cruel accusation. They know you're new, and they knew rehiring you that you were slow, I truly don't think you'll get fired. I think in a LTC setting like that they're desperate to hold onto employees. Is the staffing low? Are you being called to come in on your days off? I don't think there's even anything to write you up on from what you've said.

As far as that one patient, what I like to with patients like that is do my work as quickly as possible, TELL THEM that they are being disrespectful and that I don't appreciate being spoken to that way. If they have an issue with keeping you in the room tell them that you need to gather some supplies and that you'll be back soon or tell them that you be back with them in a little while. If she continues to yell at you while you walk out the door, that's just fine, ignore it.

Having nightmares about your job is a step too far. Start looking for Home health jobs NOW! It's a calmer environment. You just need to worry about yourself and one patient (sometimes family members can be an issue, but it's nothing like working with the aides you work with now) and it's about giving the best care you can to that one patient, this does include walking dogs, doing dishes, and cooking, kinda like what you did with the group home.

How long did you stay with the group home and how long have you been with this nursing home? You might have enough experience now to easily get hired to a home health agency.

By the way, being a CNA is not an easy job! Don't feel like you won't be a wonderful nurse if you're not the best CNA. I'm in nursing school now, and love nursing whereas I couldn't see doing CNA work for the rest of my life as a career. Nursing is much more cerebral than physical, though both components are mixed into the profession. You aren't bathing patients and cleaning them up all day long, so you don't have that amount of physical labor on your hands. Much of what I saw nurses do in LTC was long med passes and I only had one nurse help me out in LTC and she was a CNA prior to becoming an RN. Now that I'm in the hospital I get a lot more help from my nurses, but that's probably because they only have 6-7 patients and not 24 patients.

Don't let this experience sour you to nursing! Be persistent and trust in God for guidance.

[blondebabe0625]

Some of this stuff is just ridiculous! I don't think management is actually going to believe that you spilled water on a patient on purpose! That's so silly, and such a cruel accusation. They know you're new, and they knew rehiring you that you were slow, I truly don't think you'll get fired. I think in a LTC setting like that they're desperate to hold onto employees. Is the staffing low? Are you being called to come in on your days off? I don't think there's even anything to write you up on from what you've said.

As far as that one patient, what I like to with patients like that is do my work as quickly as possible, TELL THEM that they are being disrespectful and that I don't appreciate being spoken to that way. If they have an issue with keeping you in the room tell them that you need to gather some supplies and that you'll be back soon or tell them that you be back with them in a little while. If she continues to yell at you while you walk out the door, that's just fine, ignore it.

Having nightmares about your job is a step too far. Start looking for Home health jobs NOW! It's a calmer environment. You just need to worry about yourself and one patient (sometimes family members can be an issue, but it's nothing like working with the aides you work with now) and it's about giving the best care you can to that one patient, this does include walking dogs, doing dishes, and cooking, kinda like what you did with the group home.

How long did you stay with the group home and how long have you been with this nursing home? You might have enough experience now to easily get hired to a home health agency.

By the way, being a CNA is not an easy job! Don't feel like you won't be a wonderful nurse if you're not the best CNA. I'm in nursing school now, and love nursing whereas I couldn't see doing CNA work for the rest of my life as a career. Nursing is much more cerebral than physical, though both components are mixed into the profession. You aren't bathing patients and cleaning them up all day long, so you don't have that amount of physical labor on your hands. Much of what I saw nurses do in LTC was long med passes and I only had one nurse help me out in LTC and she was a CNA prior to becoming an RN. Now that I'm in the hospital I get a lot more help from my nurses, but that's probably because they only have 6-7 patients and not 24 patients.

Don't let this experience sour you to nursing! Be persistent and trust in God for guidance.

Awesome advice.!

[mstearns09]

When I first started at my job, I was the aide who did everything by the book and how I was instructed in clinicals. I was the slowest person on shift and I had even done my clinicals at this facility! I was routinely still putting people to bed at 10:45 when my shift ended at 10. I did things like spilling water on people or forgetting about them on the toilet. The first night was totally on my own, we had to move all the residents to the hallways due to severe thunderstorms and I had the hardest, busiest section in the main hall. I didn't leave work that night until after 11 and I wanted to cry and quit right then and there. But, it got better. The nurses saw they could trust me to get things done. I learned how to cut corners without risking safety. I learned how to use time efficiently and residents learned that they could count on me to help them and do it right. You'll get there; give it time.

[catman88]

Hi there!

I just want to encourage you to try and stick with it!! I became a CNA when I was 17 and I too felt that I couldn't handle it and that I must be stupid if I couldn't do the job. I was so nervous and behind all the time. The CNA who trained me told me I'd never survive and unfortunately I believed her. One day I freaked out and I walked out, never to return....or so I thought! Now 8 years later I am doing Pre-nursing classes and can not wait to try again. I KNOW I can do this now.

I lacked the confidence at the time and like you felt like I could never be a good nurse because I wasn't a good cna within a couple months of working as one. So I spent eight years building confidence...sigh. I wish I had never given up in the first place. Hang in there :) you WILL make it.

[i_love_patient_care]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. My first few months of being a CNA were an emotional nightmare. It's a tough job to get used to, but you can do it! As the others have said, you will get into your own groove. Pay attention to what works for other CNAs. Don't take everything to heart. For a patient like that one lady, you sort of have to firmly, but in a nice way set your boundaries. Some patients there really is no way to please them, no matter how hard you try. If you really feel like you can't get used to it, though, try home health like everyone else is saying. It's way slower paced.

[Wheels28]

At my long-term care facility we have a resident who I put on the toilet and gloved up and then she goes "I'm going to be a whole so go do something else and ill call you." I took my gloves off and said "okay. Ill be back here when you call." And helped escorting residents back from the dining room. She called. I was in her bathroom answering her call within a minute. As soon as I walked in, she shouts, "Where were you? I have been calling you for the past thirty minutes!" I said "I was in the hallway." She goes " NO YOU WEREN'T. I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THIRTY MINUTES" I said "it wasn't even two minutes" she goes "you're a liar. I'm going to report you." I said "okay." She goes, "you're nothing but a damn spook!" I said, "What did you call me?" She went silent. I asked again, " what did you just say?" Still silent then she says "let's go" ugh. How is this abuse okay?

I told the med aid she goes " I wouldn't worry about it. She's 'reported' me like 12 times "

I'm in a wheelchair and have cerebral palsy, I have been a patient many times in the hospital, I would NEVER EVER speak to a CNA or nurse like that, never even thought of it. I think if someone is willing to do the stuff CNA's and nurses do, they should be treated with respect. I can do all of my toileting on my own, but the times that I couldn't, I was glad I had someone willing to help. Calling someone names is NOT going to make them want to help you or go the extra mile, I wish people understand that!