Please tell me I am not alone

pagandeva2000, LPN · Mar 17, 2009

I am sorry to hear that this happened. I would probably not admit that I worked at this place and start fresh. Complete your treatment and be well. I can understand your feelings-textbook versus real world is a SHARP contrast.

MissERN · Mar 17, 2009

I remember my first year very well...how could I forget when I had perpetual swollen eyes from crying so much? I cried when I woke up for work, and I cried on my days off because I knew I would have to go back. I understand, very well, the stress that the first year brings to the new nurse. I floated for the first 6 months and that was part of the stress...new floors, new people, new patient populations. Then I found "my place" in the ER and now I love my job (and thankfully I don't cry nearly as much)!

You have a great attitude and I would encourage you to not give up! Somewhere there is just the right position for you...it may be where you least expect it! Have you considered working outside the hospital? I wish you the best...keep us updated!

stinger530 · Mar 18, 2009

Hang in there. If you are not the first nurse this has happened to within your organization it would make me wonder about their manner of orientation. It's rough making the transition and it takes a while. There's a great book called "From Novice to Expert" by Patricia Benner. I found that helpful. And I agree too with Pagandeva2000, just get well and start fresh. When you orient a new grad someday your experience will be very valuable and you will be able to help someone else avoid what happened to you.

mom35 · Mar 18, 2009

I can understand how you feel. Though I am prenursing, I used to be someone who always thought with my feelings. This is probably not the case with you, but all of my life I have been overly sensitive and ruled by my strong emotions. That is until two years ago when I decided to change my life and that meant changing my thoughts. It took awhile, but now I have my emotions in check and I know how to change my thought pattern. I always remember something that I read in a book....."Being relaxed, at peace with yourself, confident, emotionally neutral, and free-floating, these are the keys to successful performance in almost everything you do". Especially the part about being emotionally neutral- this has sincerely changed me. I used to be ruled by my emotions-I swear that I felt depressed even at three years old. Being emotionally neutral means we can see things as they are at this present moment in time. However it does not mean being emotionally void. Just that we can make decisions based on, "it is what it is", and then apply emotion when needed. Also trying to make sure and BE in the PRESENT moment, not feeling guilty about the past or afraid of the future. Being here, right now, but also planning for the future. It may sound silly, but I have a notebook of quotes that I read every day to keep me in the correct mindset. Without this change that I have brought about for myself in the past two years, I would not be in college for the first time- and making A's. "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change". Life really is what we PERCEIVE it to be.:heartbeat

RochesterRN-BSN, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

That sucks to have had such a terrible first expereince! But hey figure it this way if you had a good preceptor maybe things might have been better............those kinds of situations I have to figure are not one sided and I doubt it was all you. I am not sure what kind of floor it was but me personally--when I worked medical I found myself anxious and overwhelmed most days.....

I ended up finding my niche in psych..... yes there is stress and emergencies but they are different from medical....more stressful for some less stressful for me......they both have their challenges but I found myself not feeling to stressed and anxious in psych......but I love to talk to people and found it easy to learn to deal with angry, psychotic, violent patients! lol Learning how to de-escalate crisis came more easily for me.......so really maybe it was just the wrong floor/unit/area for you........I think you will find that when you find your niche you will feel more comfortable.....I did. Good luck and keep your chin up!!!!

1styearsucks · Mar 18, 2009

That sucks to have had such a terrible first expereince! But hey figure it this way if you had a good preceptor maybe things might have been better............those kinds of situations I have to figure are not one sided and I doubt it was all you. I am not sure what kind of floor it was but me personally--when I worked medical I found myself anxious and overwhelmed most days.....
I ended up finding my niche in psych..... yes there is stress and emergencies but they are different from medical....more stressful for some less stressful for me......they both have their challenges but I found myself not feeling to stressed and anxious in psych......but I love to talk to people and found it easy to learn to deal with angry, psychotic, violent patients! lol Learning how to de-escalate crisis came more easily for me.......so really maybe it was just the wrong floor/unit/area for you........I think you will find that when you find your niche you will feel more comfortable.....I did. Good luck and keep your chin up!!!!

Hey im glad you mention psych. I want to be a psych nurse but i did the traditional one year in med-surg thing. Today, I applied for a psych job and I really hope I get it!

mom35 · Mar 18, 2009

Hey im glad you mention psych. I want to be a psych nurse but i did the traditional one year in med-surg thing. Today, I applied for a psych job and I really hope I get it!

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I hope you get it!

Riseupandnurse · Mar 18, 2009

Please do not be too hard on yourself. I cried every night for the first year. I cared so much, and many who cared far less did better. It's just a job. It's not a measure of your worth as a human being.