Please Stop Telling Me "You'll be fine."

SteveNNP, MSN, NP · May 31, 2007

Deep cleansing breath...... no really, relax! I know how you're feeling. That's completely natural. Someone once told me that worrying about tomorrow is like paying ahead on the INTEREST on a loan. If you have chosen a good place to work in, then take comfort in the fact that they will prepare you for the job you've taken, whether it be skills checkoffs, classes, extended orientation, etc. They won't throw you out onto the floor without training/support. Just focus on learning the particular flow of your unit with your preceptor. If you need more time, ask for an extension of your orientation. I hope this helps!

Best of luck with your new job!

Stephen

decartes · May 31, 2007

Maybe have your husband read your nursing texts about theraputic communication and rephrase his words of comfort to "it appears that starting your new nursing career is making you feel uneasy...would you like to talk about it?"

llg, PhD, RN · May 31, 2007

I think you said a lot in the first few words of your original post, "I keep making the mistake ..." Learn from your mistakes and take a different approach. If you want a different response from your husband (or others), take a different approach. Think of some other ways to lead the discussion to where you want it to go. Use the communication skills you should have learned in school. For example:

"When you dismiss my career concerns by saying simply 'You'll be fine' it makes me think that you are not taking them seriously. This change may be very difficult for me and I need to discuss it with you. It's very possible that this job will not work out as you and I hope it will. I need to to know that you will be there to support me if I am 'not fine' for a while."

I'm sure other people can offer other suggestions for how to discuss it. You can't expect people unfamiliar with nursing to understand all the aspects of your nursing career -- but you can ask them to try to understand your feelings and need for support through a challenging life transition.

NursingAgainstdaOdds · May 31, 2007

Maybe have your husband read your nursing texts about theraputic communication and rephrase his words of comfort to "it appears that starting your new nursing career is making you feel uneasy...would you like to talk about it?"

Hehehe.

LauraF, RN, ASN, CNA, LPN, RN · Jun 1, 2007

It is scary when you are out on your own. Keep in mind you should be with some one to orient you to the floor and to their schedule and protocol. Other people do not understand the nervousness and stress we as nurses have at our job, because they are not the ones who have lives depending on your decisions every day. With each day it will get a little easier. I think if you weren't nervous there would be a problem. Use that nervousness to make sure you are diligent and double check things, and keep your patients safe.

Good luck.

NursingAgainstdaOdds · Jun 1, 2007

Ah, "use my nervousness" - you sound like my nursing instructors! :lol2:

I do have to remember that a certain amount of anxiety is an asset, and will help me to be more aware of my surroundings, etc. It's just such an uncomfortable feeling.

NursingAgainstdaOdds · Jun 1, 2007

Also, I did tell my hubby directly that saying "you'll be fine" is very dismissive of my feelings and not at all helpful to the situation. He modified his statement in many positive ways. :lol2:

I think I'll focus my discussion of these feelings with you guys and with my twin sis, who is also an RN. Poor hubby is a little useless in this area. Oh, but he tries.

llg, PhD, RN · Jun 1, 2007

Also, I did tell my hubby directly that saying "you'll be fine" is very dismissive of my feelings and not at all helpful to the situation. He modified his statement in many positive ways.
I think I'll focus my discussion of these feelings with you guys and with my twin sis, who is also an RN. Poor hubby is a little useless in this area. Oh, but he tries.

Sometimes, "trying" is the most imortant thing. Besides, you have us for the other stuff.

TraumaGirl1018 · Jun 2, 2007

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I dont start for two more weeks (took some time off after graduation) but I am nervous! Im even having dreams about the unit Ill be working on!! Now I kind of wish I wouldve picked an earlier start date so that I didnt have all this free time to think and worry about my job!! Im just trying to keep busy, I also have been looking over my noted from school to try to keep things fresh in my head and to get a head start on studying for boards, which I hope to take at the end of July. I'd say go out and have fun tonight!!

firstyearstudent · Jun 3, 2007

I start work in July and plan to get my support from those I've gotten support from in the past -- my fantastic fellow students!

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jun 3, 2007

i can't help but think that the road ahead of you might be even tougher if you continue to think that the first four days of your new job are "total cake". beside the fact that you'll probably be sitting on your rump for most of those four days, although not necessarily, let me assure you that some of those scenarios you're going to have to handle will be based in part in what you learn in that four-day cake walk of an orientation. the facility wouldn't be paying anyone to sit around for 4 days if the information wasn't important for you to know. my suggestions: take notes. don't get involved in the gossip mills, put your nursing textbooks where you can get to them when you get home from work so you can look up stuff and start thinking about ways to manage your time on the job. time management and organizing will be a career long pursuit.