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Please Stop Telling Me "You'll be fine."

First Year   (2,246 Views 20 Comments)
by NursingAgainstdaOdds NursingAgainstdaOdds (New Member) New Member

NursingAgainstdaOdds has 2 years experience and specializes in Med-Surg/Tele, ER.

5,591 Visitors; 450 Posts

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I keep making the mistake of attempting to discuss my apprehension about my impending new career with people who are not nurses. I start June 4. The first four days are total cake (classroom orientation on hospital policy), but after that we all know the awkward, sometimes embarassing, humility-inspiring process that lay ahead. I'm just so nervous. I keep running through different scenarios and how I should handle them (a premature exercise for the most part, since I haven't been oriented to the floor's protocols). I'm thinking about the ways I should handle myself at work, and how to navigate tricky work relationships.

My hubby is really psyched about my starting work, primarily because it pays double what I was making before and will give our family definite financial stability. That's great, yeah. But he talks about my starting this new job like it's just any other job. Despite my attempts to explain it to him, he continues to fail to understand that a tough road lay ahead for me. "You'll be fine" he says. That's not what I need from you, buddy.

Phew, anyway. Any and all advice appreciated!

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SteveNNP has 9 years experience and specializes in Neonatal ICU (Cardiothoracic).

2 Articles; 25,614 Visitors; 2,512 Posts

Deep cleansing breath...... no really, relax! I know how you're feeling. That's completely natural. Someone once told me that worrying about tomorrow is like paying ahead on the INTEREST on a loan. If you have chosen a good place to work in, then take comfort in the fact that they will prepare you for the job you've taken, whether it be skills checkoffs, classes, extended orientation, etc. They won't throw you out onto the floor without training/support. Just focus on learning the particular flow of your unit with your preceptor. If you need more time, ask for an extension of your orientation. I hope this helps!

Best of luck with your new job!

Stephen

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2,171 Visitors; 241 Posts

Maybe have your husband read your nursing texts about theraputic communication and rephrase his words of comfort to "it appears that starting your new nursing career is making you feel uneasy...would you like to talk about it?"

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llg has 40 years experience as a PhD, RN and specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

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I think you said a lot in the first few words of your original post, "I keep making the mistake ..." Learn from your mistakes and take a different approach. If you want a different response from your husband (or others), take a different approach. Think of some other ways to lead the discussion to where you want it to go. Use the communication skills you should have learned in school. For example:

"When you dismiss my career concerns by saying simply 'You'll be fine' it makes me think that you are not taking them seriously. This change may be very difficult for me and I need to discuss it with you. It's very possible that this job will not work out as you and I hope it will. I need to to know that you will be there to support me if I am 'not fine' for a while."

I'm sure other people can offer other suggestions for how to discuss it. You can't expect people unfamiliar with nursing to understand all the aspects of your nursing career -- but you can ask them to try to understand your feelings and need for support through a challenging life transition.

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NursingAgainstdaOdds has 2 years experience and specializes in Med-Surg/Tele, ER.

5,591 Visitors; 450 Posts

Maybe have your husband read your nursing texts about theraputic communication and rephrase his words of comfort to "it appears that starting your new nursing career is making you feel uneasy...would you like to talk about it?"

Hehehe.

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LauraF, RN has 30 years experience as a ASN, CNA, LPN, RN and specializes in Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Call Center RN.

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It is scary when you are out on your own. Keep in mind you should be with some one to orient you to the floor and to their schedule and protocol. Other people do not understand the nervousness and stress we as nurses have at our job, because they are not the ones who have lives depending on your decisions every day. With each day it will get a little easier. I think if you weren't nervous there would be a problem. Use that nervousness to make sure you are diligent and double check things, and keep your patients safe.

Good luck.

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NursingAgainstdaOdds has 2 years experience and specializes in Med-Surg/Tele, ER.

5,591 Visitors; 450 Posts

Ah, "use my nervousness" - you sound like my nursing instructors! :lol2:

I do have to remember that a certain amount of anxiety is an asset, and will help me to be more aware of my surroundings, etc. It's just such an uncomfortable feeling.

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NursingAgainstdaOdds has 2 years experience and specializes in Med-Surg/Tele, ER.

5,591 Visitors; 450 Posts

Also, I did tell my hubby directly that saying "you'll be fine" is very dismissive of my feelings and not at all helpful to the situation. He modified his statement in many positive ways. :lol2:

I think I'll focus my discussion of these feelings with you guys and with my twin sis, who is also an RN. Poor hubby is a little useless in this area. Oh, but he tries.

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llg has 40 years experience as a PhD, RN and specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

5 Followers; 57,996 Visitors; 13,047 Posts

Also, I did tell my hubby directly that saying "you'll be fine" is very dismissive of my feelings and not at all helpful to the situation. He modified his statement in many positive ways. :lol2:

I think I'll focus my discussion of these feelings with you guys and with my twin sis, who is also an RN. Poor hubby is a little useless in this area. Oh, but he tries.

Sometimes, "trying" is the most imortant thing. Besides, you have us for the other stuff.

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1,569 Visitors; 56 Posts

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I dont start for two more weeks (took some time off after graduation) but I am nervous! Im even having dreams about the unit Ill be working on!! Now I kind of wish I wouldve picked an earlier start date so that I didnt have all this free time to think and worry about my job!! Im just trying to keep busy, I also have been looking over my noted from school to try to keep things fresh in my head and to get a head start on studying for boards, which I hope to take at the end of July. I'd say go out and have fun tonight!!

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6,727 Visitors; 853 Posts

I start work in July and plan to get my support from those I've gotten support from in the past -- my fantastic fellow students!

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Daytonite has 40 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

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i can't help but think that the road ahead of you might be even tougher if you continue to think that the first four days of your new job are "total cake". beside the fact that you'll probably be sitting on your rump for most of those four days, although not necessarily, let me assure you that some of those scenarios you're going to have to handle will be based in part in what you learn in that four-day cake walk of an orientation. the facility wouldn't be paying anyone to sit around for 4 days if the information wasn't important for you to know. my suggestions: take notes. don't get involved in the gossip mills, put your nursing textbooks where you can get to them when you get home from work so you can look up stuff and start thinking about ways to manage your time on the job. time management and organizing will be a career long pursuit.

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