please help critique my resume!!!

proudnurseRN · Jan 7, 2010

I think it looks great. When I had my resume critiqued by the writing center they told me to use either months or seasons, but not both. So I changed mine around. That's the only thing I saw in your resume that they suggested I change around in mine.

AirforceRN, RN · Jan 7, 2010

National Student Nurses Association: Stony Brook University Chapter Stony Brook, NY
Member September 2008 to Present
- Participate in community events such as smoking cessation education and nursing promotion events
- Fundraise for worldwide and local causes such as Operation Christmas Child, which sent boxes of gifts to children in Southeast Asia; and Operation Help Suffolk, which raised toiletries for a local Suffolk County shelter

I think it should read:

"National Student Nurses' Association" (with the apostrophe)

I know its a small thing but every little thing counts right?

deege58 · Jan 7, 2010

I went to a professional to revamp my resume, they said less is more and chopped it. They would have cut out all the duties that you listed for each job. You can go to your local employment office and they will do it for free. But yes, I would hire you.

Crash_Cart · Jan 7, 2010

The format may seem a little disaorganized but that's because I copied it from the Word document, but please any feedback is appreciated!!!! would you hire me??? :)

OBJECTIVE: To gain an entry level position as a Registered Nurse

First impression - Reads like you have no experience right from the start... give me the NEXT resume please! :)

Try changing the statement to something more interesting. Remember, you need to retain the readers attention span and it's already assumed you want to be employed as an RN.

Altrnative objective example:

Provide patient care excellence and maintain the highest standards in the nursing practice practice profession while excelling in my personal advancement of my nursing career in the clinical setting. (or desired area of specialty :)

EDUCATION: Stony Brook University Stony Brook, NY

Bachelor of Science in Nursing, Health and Wellness Minor GPA 3.86

Expected Graduation Date: May 2010

RELEVANT Long Island State Veterans Home Stony Brook, NY

EXPERIENCE: Certified Nursing Assistant January 2008 to Present

- Provide direct nursing care and assist geriatric residents in the activities of daily living.

- Report to nurse and record data such as vital signs, intake and output.

- Document care provided on resident flowsheets every shift.

How about summarizing this experience into one general statement but do in such a way that it sets you apart?

Trained in areas related to blood borne pathogens, vital signs, patient intake and patient documentaion activities. Instructed in areas related to back safety, compressed gases etc. Trained in setting up complex hospital equipment including circle beds, various traction arrays and assistive devices used in the geriatric resident setting. Assisted physicians with the application of cervical collars, casts, Thomas splints, suturing, MAST pants, skin traction etc. Regularly responded to code blues, code whites. etc etc etc.. The point here is to specify the various "tasks" you did and what you have specific experience with, which tells the employer what you can actually do. "ADL's" in itself is pretty vague. - Sorry:) All nurses do that. What do you do that's different?

National Student Nurses Association: Stony Brook University Chapter Stony Brook, NY

Member September 2008 to Present

- Participate in community events such as smoking cessation education and nursing promotion events

- Fundraise for worldwide and local causes such as Operation Christmas Child, which sent boxes of gifts to children in Southeast Asia; and Operation Help Suffolk, which raised toiletries for a local Suffolk County shelter

...Like the volunteer aspect very much!

North Shore-LIJ Forest Hills Hospital Forest Hills, NY

Nurse Extern July 2009 to August 2009

- Expanded clinical skills set with vital signs, pain assessment, documentation and nursing care

- Enhanced interpersonal skills to interact effectively with patients, visitors, and facility staff

- Researched and presented a PowerPoint presentation on the H1N1 Virus to employee personnel

Sell!! sell!! sell!!

For example:

Organized daily nursing duties and prioritized assigned patient care load. Communicated accurate and concise medical terminology as required to the health care team. Conducted accurate patient health chart documentation as required. Conducted H1N1 clinical research activities and published information for the benefit of the facility / staff members. Maintained a confidential level of progressive, unbiased, appropriate and ethical nursing care in the clinical setting.

New York Methodist Hospital Brooklyn, NY

Patient Care Intern June 2008 to August 2008

- Developed nursing assistant skills on both oncology and intensive care units

- Served as a liaison between patients and members of the healthcare team

- Provided over one hundred hours of service

While the 100 hours of service is great, yet it kinda reminds me once again you may have limited expereince at the same time. I wouldn't mention the "time" aspect involved with your service. Leave some food for thought here. If the employee needs to know the actual hours, they can ask you during the interview.

OTHER Stony Brook UniversityDepartment of AnthropologyStony Brook, NY

EXPERIENCE: Teacher’s Assistant (TA) Spring 2008, Fall 2008

- Taught Human Anatomy course material in laboratory class

- Co-facilitated and taught student-run review sessions and proctored exams

- Explained answers to student questions and enhanced group participation

- Distributed and collected class quizzes and worksheets

position. How many students did you teach? What was invloved in the cirriculum? As your propective employer, I want to know what it was exactly you were teaching students. I guess I am left wondering as your prospective employer how distributing paper around a classroom is somehow relevant.

Stony Brook University Campus Dining Services Stony Brook, NY

Student Manager September 2006 to May 2008

- Trained new employees and delegated tasks to student and union workers

- Resolved customer requests and concerns

- Scheduled employee breaks and documented paycheck distribution

Another opportunity to sell yourself. Did you priorize tasks? Then say that.. Where you resourceful in your duties? Then say that too etc..

ie.

Aligned program involving student and union workers to facilitate a safe, resourceful and profitable environment; Maintained the highest quality student services while operating within fiscal constraints. Monitored, reviewed and provided input with employee tasks, customer concerns, minimized financial loss, frequency of turnover. Responsible for payroll distribution and prioritizing staffing activities.

Stony Brook University Preschool Stony Brook, NY

Volunteer Teacher’s Aide September 2007 to May 2008

- Supervised toddlers ages 2 to 4 and ensured their safety

- Implemented reinforcement of positive behavior such as hand washing and sharing toys

- Organized preschool activities such as painting and ‘snack time’

Elaborate on the "safety" aspect. As your prospective employer I want to know about how you work safely. What can you tell me about this? How about something like:

Responsible for organizing daily scheduled activities involving toddlers in the 2-4 year age group. Worked closely with the facility ensuring safety programs and supervisory objectives were exceeded. Ensured infection control activities through survellience monitoring and provided teaching and encoraged positive behavior invloving infection control techniques.

AWARDS: Stony Brook University Stony Brook, NY

- Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing – October 2009 to Present

- Andrea Roher Scholarship – Spring 2009

- Basic Life Support Certification – March 2008

- New York State Certified Nursing Assistant – January 2008

- Presidential Scholarship – Eight semesters

- Dean’s List – Eight semesters

Ok done nitpicking :) All my very best and good luck!

SuperStudentNurse · Jan 7, 2010

wow thank you all so much!! all it took was a different person's perspective!

Perpetual Student · Jan 7, 2010

Someone who specializes in resume preparation told me to omit an objective statement. That should be addressed in your cover letter.

Does it all fit on one page? Looks like it might be a little too long, but maybe it fits. It's hard to tell with the forum formatting.

ShelbyP · Jan 7, 2010

I agree with Perpetual Student; omit the objective. Either you should address that in your cover letter or you will use on-line applications (which most hospitals are using now) and they will know exactly which nursing job you are applying for.

Speaking of the on-line apps, many of them also loose formating -- just something to be aware of.

Also, I would include your CNA and life support certification under education at the top instead of under Awards at the bottom. These are legitimate trainings and you should say what institution granted your certificates (where did you go to school for your CNA? did you do your life support through American Red Cross?).

also, although your GPA is impressive, i'm not sure it belongs on a resume (especially since you haven't graduated yet and it may change). the honors society and dean's list show are evidence that you're strong academically. when you get an interview, then you can bring along your transcripts with GPA.

oh, and just wondering... was anatomy taught in the Anthro department at your school? not the biology department?

good luck!

stillbetteryet · Jan 7, 2010

As a prospective employer I would also need to see your nursing school clinical rotation experience. You've obviously excelled in school with such a high GPA, but you're not highlighting some of your experiences. I would add the hospital, rotation (ex. Medical-Surgical), and specific skills you gained (ex. caring for patients with NG tubes, chest tubes, interpreting lab values, medication administration, caring for post-surgical patients, charting, etc......).

I found that listing my clinical experience made it even easier during the interview to emphasize my qualifications. I accepted a position at the hospital I wanted to work at the most in my chosen specialty. I wish the same for you.

Lastly, I would move your awards listed at the bottom closer to the top just under your education section.

Yes. I would hire you after hearing more regarding experiences and skills you've acquired during nursing school.

Keep us posted. :)

profstudent4life · Jan 7, 2010

Several things. First, I have a business background and can tell you that objectives statements are worthless. It just adds space to your resume that you could use otherwise highlighting other accomplishments (i.e. foreign language or computer skills). Not many people really pay attention to them, anyway.

Second, for your "relevant experience" section, I would advise only including CNA, Nurse Extern, and Patient Care Intern. The other positions are not really relevant to the position you are seeking to work in. Possibly leave the student manager position, because it showcases your management and people skills, but definitely cut out the volunteer teacher aide. Include this at the end of your resume under a "Activities, Honors, Awards" section, and just list the position title and dates, do not include details.

Third, cut out your "job description" for the Student Nurse Assn. Did you actually WORK for them? If you didn't, do not include it in your work experience section. Instead, include this membership at the end (with your teacher's aide experience) under the "Activities, Honors, Awards" section. Again, list the name of the organization, member standing, and dates. Do not include details.

So, in sum, you should have your "work and relevant experience" section with the following: CNA, Nurse Extern, Patient Care intern. (and possibly STudent manager).

You should also have a section at the end where you list your Activities, Honors, and Awards, which list your National Student Nurse Assn membership, volunteer, teacher's aide, and your academic awards/accomplishments and any other relevant volunteer work. Also, do you have any foreign language or computer skills (i.e. specific hospital software)? You would want to include this, as well.

I hope this all makes sense. Please let me know if you have any additional questions. Best of luck!

Perpetual Student · Jan 8, 2010

As a prospective employer I would also need to see your nursing school clinical rotation experience. You've obviously excelled in school with such a high GPA, but you're not highlighting some of your experiences. I would add the hospital, rotation (ex. Medical-Surgical), and specific skills you gained (ex. caring for patients with NG tubes, chest tubes, interpreting lab values, medication administration, caring for post-surgical patients, charting, etc......).
I found that listing my clinical experience made it even easier during the interview to emphasize my qualifications. I accepted a position at the hospital I wanted to work at the most in my chosen specialty. I wish the same for you.
Lastly, I would move your awards listed at the bottom closer to the top just under your education section.
Yes. I would hire you after hearing more regarding experiences and skills you've acquired during nursing school.
Keep us posted. :)

I think it's better to just talk about that during the interview if you have other relevant qualifications that will get you in the door. It's assumed that you have the standard clinical experience and you will create a jumbled mess of a resume if you include all of that. Maybe include experiences relevant to your desired area of practice, but addressing all of them will suck up your one page pretty quickly.

Brevity is key if you want to stand out to the people reading them. I recently spoke to an ANM who stated that his eyes were going nuts from reading so many resumes (a "mountain"). You want to have enough to make you appear desirable, but you also want to leave a little bit of mystery to attract interest. If it's too long or awkward the person screening it is likely to mentally doze.

Crash_Cart · Jan 8, 2010

Brevity is key if you want to stand out to the people reading them.

Um.. yes and no.

I have hired many people in the past. (I am a business owner and no longer in Nursing) I have tossed many resumes into the round file. ...Why?

The reason why I did that was because they had "boring" information on them that really didn't "stand out" or somehow get my attention for the position I was offering. Some resumes are so vague and so full of bullet points, I felt like I was looking at a power point presentation on an overhead slide projector but in this case, the person who is giving the presentation is missing to discuss all the details associated with the bullet points. :eek:

That's the problem with "brevity" in many cases. However, at the time I am not in the mood to read a novel either. I have a small cup of coffee in a 12 oz. Styrofoam cup while I am busy reviewing your resume, so I suspect your cover letter and resume details should take about the same amount of time to review as it takes me to drink my cup of coffee. If I have to get a refill before any decision can be made, I may not come back for a while. :)

Basically, here's what you want to do to get an employers attention:

Write your resume in such a manner that it specifically addresses the job position details I am offering. In your cover letter "Yes, I actually do read these" You want to introduce yourself, Be friendly! Some introductions are so cold and unfeeling !! - I like nice people too you know!?

Next, you want to tell me why you feel you are qualified for the position (be specific..) Don't just tell me, "My name is Jane. I feel I am qualified for the posted position because my education says I am" ....uh... WRONG!

In fact, don't even tell me about your education at all in your cover letter, I can clearly see that information in your resume later on. What I want to read and "FEEL" in your cover letter is "what kind of person you actually are." I want to get a sense of the "personality" of the person I am dealing with. So stop writing cover letters that appear so "generic and clinical" or else these will probobly also end up in my round file too.

What you want to do, is make me want to pick up my telephone to call you after I read your cover letter. I usually like to see a nice closing statement in the cover letter too.

I like "go getters." So try to close your cover letter with something like,

" I would like to arrange a time to speak with you to discuss my attached resume. I feel I can provide any additional clarification or supporting documentation in clearer detail with you in person. I may be reached at 000-123-4567 and I am looking forward to meeting with you."

The end.

Thoughts about this sort of closing:

1. I am usually prompted to actually call "go getters" because I like how they are offering to help me make a hiring decision without any obligation on my part involved. It immediately puts the ball in my court to learn more about this person. (Always put the phone number right in front of me too.. Don't make me look for it somewhere else because my desk has a lot of paper on it sometimes. Just be available around the clock. Don't make a specific "time" for me to call you either. I'm very busy and you should always be available at my convenience, I'm not calling you at your convenience. I'll just call someone else if I have to do things like that. :)

2. I like the fact you don't say this is an actual "big scary interview" in your cover letter so now I feel much better about contacting you. Now I can just simply call you to ask any questions for "clarification". Since this is all now just a "information clarification session" I am not making an actual obligation to have an "interview" with you etc.

What I want to know about you in your resume is what you can actually do. (I know this seems like a very strange concept doesn't it?) So, please, can you find a way to "impress me!" :)

Tell me about your "practical skills" Would you actually believe I don't really care if you have a PhD or not? Those of you who are fussing over the "formatting" of the resume etc etc.. I don't really care about that either. I understand resumes are not always "perfect" In fact, I have about 30 of them here that have all sorts of different kinds of formatting on them. Do you think I actually have any idea which resume is actually the "correctly formatted" one? ...Don't worry about it. I think we all realize this is not an exercise in academic correctness because what i am doing is hiring a potential candidate, I am pretty certain I am not your professor who's grading a paper.

What I really care about is if you are a good fit for the position I need to fill or not. ....Period. :)

If you don't somehow tell me that you are "THE" person I am looking for to fill the position I am offering, Then I am not going to know that am I?

Can you do that? Can you communicate your information on your resume in such a manner that it makes me want to pick up my telephone and call you??

I will let you think about that for awhile while you check the formatting, choose a nice font for your bullet points and while cut and pasting your favorite generic cover letters from a Google search. :)

My Best,