Please dont hate me for saying this...

Nurses General Nursing

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I am a pre nursing student and have been fortunate to be able to volunteer in the ER as well as a few shadowing opportunities. I have noticed a lack of care towards patients, most of the nurses are sitting around and talking, even discussing personal information regarding patients. I have seen very flippant attitudes, even towards a women having a miscarriage. NOW, please understand I do not want to offend anyone, I am just curious. Is this something that happens with time, you are just so accustomed to seeing so many patients that you stop wanting to interact with them for longer than needed? I have noticed that after vitals are complete, the nurses just return to the station and never check the patient again. Is that normal protocol? Are there specific fields of nursing, such as ER or Dr. offices where this is found more than other areas? I have wanted to work in the healtcare industry for so long and now I am disappointed with what I am seeing. I want to feel like I can make a difference, care for each patient the same way I would want to be cared for. Am I being naive to think I will never adopt the same attutude? I am truly scared now that I am put so much time and effort into something that I have maybe incorrectly idealized for so long. Thank you in advance for any advice and please understand this is not intended to upset anyone.

Things will change. We all come out of nusing school with that attitude....

That's exactly what I was wondering, I know that anyone choosing this profession is caring and goes into to it wanting to help others. Its the change in attitude that I am seeing and was curious about.

I can see how the very long hours on your feet and dealing with the patients that you know will not walk out of the hospital can be physically and emotionally draining. Not to mention dealing with Dr.'s attitudes and patients families.

I do want to say, I did not mean to judge, my intentions were to learn more about the means of the change in attitude. I guess wanting to prepare myself for what all I will encounter. Please try to remember how you all felt when you were first able to care for a patient, I know you must have been eager, just as I am. Yes, I agree 100% that I should not judge until I have been in those shoes. But, what is wrong with wanting to know what aspects of nursing bring upon this change in attitude in some nurses?

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My attitude might have changed, but that doesn't mean that I don't care. I think it is great that we all start with that "I'm gonna save the world and be the best nurse" attitude. I still feel that way at times, but know what is reality.

What changes....with time, comes experiences and hands on care...you "see" things in real life and not the text book case. It becomes real. Nothing really prepares you for that. I just think you have to live life.

My 2 cents.

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Don't worry. Once you go through all your clinical experiences you will see where you belong. Apparently it isn't the ER. Now, there will be nurses on every floor that behave how you describe, but some floors are more known for it. I PERSONALLY chose not to go to the ER upon graduation because I felt there was a lack of opportunity and/or desire to do caring interventions. Now, to ME, these were important aspects of the kind of nursing I want to do. Granted, they would probably do more of them if they weren't so busy, but many times I PERSONALLY observed them choosing not to (in more than one ER). There is an amount of separation you will have to do as a nurse to protect yourself from inevitable death or poor outcomes, but if a patient wants an extra pillow--give it to them. If a little girl wants chocolate milk because it is what her mom gives her when she is sick--give it to her. Even if you have to call the cafeteria! Floors that are more known as caring are oncology, peds, some ICU's, hospice, and NICU. May be a little different where you live. Good luck in finding your calling. :nurse:

I'm not sure how you figure she doesn't belong in the ER. That is just where she has seen the behaviors she described. Such is not exclusive to the ER, nor are all nurses in ER like this.

It's very interesting - she begged everyone not to take offense yet it seems like almost everyone here did. Have I misperceived?

For OP: Just be the best you can. You are going to find all kinds of people in Nursing, just as in Medicine or any other field of work. Emulate the good ones, eschew the others, pray for all to walk a mile in the shoes of the patients and their relatives; and vice versa!

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That's exactly what I was wondering, I know that anyone choosing this profession is caring and goes into to it wanting to help others.

I don't think this is true.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
I completely understand, and I don't mean to criticize, I am truly curious if there is an aspect about nursing that you almost have to incorporate a lackadaisical attitude. Maybe as a means of self protection, not wanting to "care" to much for someone that is in and out of your life so quickly, does that make any sense?

And, I think everyone that becomes a nurse starts out with the same desire to help others. And then something happens that changes that desire in some nurses (I am not generalizing, I know this is just specific instances that I have observed and not industry wide).

Thank you for your comments.

It's not that they "don't want to care", some of the things that we see in the ER are so horrible, that you have to be able to separate yourself and not think ..."This could be my mother, sister, brother, daughter..." I don't mean to not look at the patient as a human being, but you just about have to remain a certain emotional distance to give your patient th best care you can. I know I may not have phrased that the way that someone else may, but I hope you understand my point. What may come across as an "I don't care" vibe may not actually be that.

But, I have also been on the other side of the curtain. I have been the patient and the family member when my father was having a big MI and I was frightened and anxious and, well, you name it, I was feeling it. I know it is difficult looking from that perspective, and sometimes wondering, "Why are they just joking around when I am hurting, Scared, anxious, ..." It's just that it's not always the way things are, it's just the way things appear from one point of view.

Good luck to you-

Anne, RNC

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It's not that they "don't want to care", some of the things that we see in the ER are so horrible, that you have to be able to separate yourself and not think ..."This could be my mother, sister, brother, daughter..." I don't mean to not look at the patient as a human being, but you just about have to remain a certain emotional distance to give your patient th best care you can. I know I may not have phrased that the way that someone else may, but I hope you understand my point. What may come across as an "I don't care" vibe may not actually be that.

Thank you, that does make sense to me. I cannot begin to understand what things I may see when I am finally able to be a Nurse.

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That's exactly what I was wondering, I know that anyone choosing this profession is caring and goes into to it wanting to help others.

I don't think this is true.

Thank you for your advice, I'm sure your right. There are many great reasons for going into this field, I would love to believe that it was always JUST about helping others in a time of need. :loveya:

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
I'm not sure how you figure she doesn't belong in the ER. That is just where she has seen the behaviors she described. Such is not exclusive to the ER, nor are all nurses in ER like this.

It's very interesting - she begged everyone not to take offense yet it seems like almost everyone here did. Have I misperceived?

For OP: Just be the best you can. You are going to find all kinds of people in Nursing, just as in Medicine or any other field of work. Emulate the good ones, eschew the others, pray for all to walk a mile in the shoes of the patients and their relatives; and vice versa!

Vito - I hope I was not coming across in my posting, I was only trying to get across to the OP that yes, things can seem like one thing, and I understand how they can seem like that. I understand from being a patient in the ER, and also a family member. I just hope she can understand there are many traits and attitudes she will be exposed to and she can find what is best for her and learn from them.

Anne, RNC

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It's very interesting - she begged everyone not to take offense yet it seems like almost everyone here did. Have I misperceived?

Thank you for stating this, I do think I should have put more thought into my original question. I did not mean to put people on the offense, I understand that many people (inc myself) do not understand in full how difficult a Nurse's job is. Since there are so many misconceptions, I think it was natural for some of the responders to automatically think I was attacking their integrity. Like I said, I wish I put more thought into how I asked, because that was not my intention. I have the utmost respect for Nurses and appreciate their dedication and the sacrifices they make on a daily basis. I can see where they are coming from, how can I begin to question a situation before I experience it. Sure, I witnessed nurses having down time, that I can understand, I am not sure I can understand some of the comments I overheard, but I agree that I will understand more as I am in those shoes for a while.

Thanks again to everyone that responded, you have opened my eyes a bit towards what I will face, I am up for the challenge!

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I'm not sure how you figure she doesn't belong in the ER. That is just where she has seen the behaviors she described. Such is not exclusive to the ER, nor are all nurses in ER like this.

I don't think the ER is for everyone and it appeared she really wants to make a caring difference. I just mean that in the ER you don't get full backgrounds, continuity of care, follow-up, and the time to do many caring interventions. I have many friends in the ER and think it is perfect for them. But let's face it, ER nurses aren't often perceived as the most compassionate nurses. I honestly do not mean all of them!! I also assumed she needed more exposure to other departments to see if it she liked them better than the ER. Perhaps she is meant for the ER... but I know tons of people who had clinical experiences and walked out saying "that is what I want to do". I really was just trying to give her a little hope. She is early in the journey...

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people talk - that's just what they do. are we supposed to walk around like robots and not talk to each other? some gossip is worse than other gossip - you get that wherever you go in life.

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I think that every nurse has their own work ethic just as any other job in any profession. If you looked for the job where everybody performed 100% and was completely enthusiastic all the time then you would never find what you were looking for. I look at all the nurses I am surrounded by and try to learn a little from each one because they all have their strengths and weaknesses. I try my best to stay away from the negative people and form my own attitude and routine not based on those that lack, but on the strengths I see in all the truly good nurses out there. Also, try to think that those under you are looking at you the same way that you looked at those in the ER. So, try not to place a negative feel of nursing to those that observe you and never form your opinion on nursing based solely on what you see in others because you have to become the nurse you want to be and that comes from inside, not the practices of others. If you want to be a wonderful nurse and make a difference to your patients then do it and you will have a positive effect on nurses and patients alike. Thats how I feel about my responsibility in nursing and those that view their job seemingly like a paycheck and not direct patient care.

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