Please critique cover letter and resume

[nurse_starlight]

I would appreciate it if someone can critique my cover letter and resume. Thanks in advance!

In a word processor this takes up two pages. Personal info edited out for privacy.

June 8, 2014

Human Resource Person

Some Hospital Name

City, State Zip Code

Dear Human Resource Person:

I am responding to the Registered Nurse job posted on the hospital's web site for a licensed RN with CPR certification.The RN must utilize the nursing process to ensure the provision of quality patient care. Providing a therapeutic environment through safe, accurate and timely medication and IV administration and taking responsibility for the nursing components of the patient/family/significant other educational process are requirements for this position. Communication to and evaluation of understanding of team members, patients, and their families is another important skill.

I am interested in filling this position and I meet your requirements. I have experience

In caring for this population of patients because my preceptorship was on this unit. The high quality care I provided earned praise form my preceptor, patients, families, and my instructor. All medications were administered safely and in a timely manner and patients and their families were taught the use, generic and brand names, side effects, symptoms to report, and interactions of their medications. Patients, their families, and co-workers were evaluated for their understanding of information through validation.

I believe I am qualified to fill this position. I believe this is an exciting opportunity. I would welcome the chance to discuss my qualifications further.

Sincere thanks,

Nurse Starlight

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PROFESSIONAL PROFILE

• Cared for transplant patients
  
• Communication skills and customer service skills
  
• Ability to stay calm in emergency situations
  
• Able to multitask in a fast-paced setting
  
• Team player
  
• Proficiency in electronic documentation systems, Microsoft Windows (all) and Microsoft Office Suite
  

EDUCATION

ABC University Bachelor of Science in Nursing,20xx DEF Community Collage Associates in Applied Science in Nursing, 20xx

LICENSES AND CERTIFICATIONS

• Registered Nurse: State Board of Nursing, Current
  
• American Heart Association Basic Life Support- Current
  

EXPERIENCE

Private Duty Nurse, 2012-2014

- Blood glucose monitoring

- Blood pressure monitoring

- Medication administration

- Catheter insertion and removal

- IV insertion and monitoring

- Immunizations

- Wound care

- Dressing changes

- TPN

CLINICAL ROTATIONS

- Preceptorship-ABC Hospital-City, State, 20xx

- Medical-Surgical I- DEF Hospital-City, State, 20xx

- Medical Surgical II-GHI Hospital- City, State, 20xx

- Pediatrics-JKL Hospital- City, State, 20xx

- OB/GYN- MNO Hospital- City, State, 20xx

- Psych- PQR Hospital- City, State, 20xx

[adamRn79, BSN, RN]

You need to be more concise.

[nurse_starlight]

What do you mean?

[yoga&cake]

I am confused about this -

"The RN must utilize the nursing process to ensure the provision of quality patient care. Providing a therapeutic environment through safe, accurate and timely medication and IV administration and taking responsibility for the nursing components of the patient/family/significant other educational process are requirements for this position. Communication to and evaluation of understanding of team members, patients, and their families is another important skill"

It comes off as though you are informing the Hiring Manager what skills they should look for when hiring. I would either personalize this (for example, state that you utilize the nursing process) or remove it. At worst it comes off as insulting and at best superfluous.

I agree that the second paragraph needs to be more concise. For instance, you mention you had your preceptorship on the floor but this is redundant as it is included in your CV. Use this opportunity to expand further such as the skills you gained perceptoring on the unit. Also perhaps remove the word "believe." I would change it to something like, "based on my experience and qualifications I would make an excellent to your team." Sell yourself! When I write cover letters, I generally use the first paragraph to introduce myself, why I am interested and a broad overview of my skill set. The second/third paragraphs I use specific examples (generally based on the job posting and what the hiring team has requested).

Cover letters can be such a pain and after 10 years I continue to feel I can improve my writing. Good luck!