Personal Deathbed Vision Stories?

[poppyboo]

I recently witnessed a profound deathbed vision while on-site during a training. An older woman in the later stages of pancreatic cancer, who was under close supervision due to her declining condition, was (understandably) upset about her lot. Although she was declining, she wasn’t expected to pass for another few weeks. I was shadowing an older resident RN on site and we stopped by her room, and we chatted with her for a while; the usual charting and pain management shebang. Suddenly, her demeanor changed completely to one of complete happiness and acceptance. She smiled, gazed to a corner of the room like she was staring through us, and remarked “Oh, thank goodness Randy. I was afraid you wouldn’t show up! I’m ready now.” As I was informed later by another nurse who had spoken with the woman’s daughter, Randy was her husband of 32 years who had passed some years prior. She sat up smiling, reached for a corner of the room, her breathing subsequently slowed, and you could see the life leave her body as she took her last breath and she fell on the pillow behind her. The resident RN who’s been there for about 20 years didn’t even bat an eye, and said this is incredibly common. Didn’t bother to ask what the nurses spiritual alignment was, though now I’m super curious. 

I’m just starting on the nursing track and I am FREAKED by this incident. This also spiraled into a major existential crisis, as I was pretty confidently agnostic before. Now I don’t know what to believe. I knew from my professors that people may become delusional and oxygen deprived near death and may report to see things, but this woman was way too lucid for me to be comfortable with that claim. My goal was to make people as comfortable as possible as they slip into the endless night. Does anyone who’s worked with terminally ill patients have any testimonies of deathbed visions that changed their view on life after death? And maybe some words of advice/encouragement for someone who is super spooked by all of this?

[amoLucia]

You'll need to be open-minded here in whatever you belief system is.

So much in this world I can't prove, but then I can't disprove things either.

But I would bet that prob every long time nurse here can comment on unusual happenings like this one.

[GrumpyRN, NP]

17 hours ago, poppyboo said:

This also spiraled into a major existential crisis, as I was pretty confidently agnostic before. Now I don’t know what to believe.

Don't change your views, at worst it is hypoxia at best it could be used as proof of life after death. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing, to do with a "superior" being or "god like" figure. Certainly nothing to do with so called "heaven" or religion.

It would be nice to think that the inner part, the "me" survives after physical death.

So don't let this freak you out, you will see similar in the future.

 

I was told this story by a nurse who witnessed it and swore it was true - no reason to lie.

She was working in a Cardio-thoracic unit in UK. Lots of sick patients. One lady was expected to die very shortly. Another patient asked what was happening and was told about the imminent death. She replied, "Oh no, she isn't going to die tonight, but she is," pointing at another patient. When told that there was no way that lady was going to die as she was well and recovering fine the patient replied, "No, I can see all her family around her waiting for her. The sick lady does not have anyone there." I should add that there was no family visible to nursing staff. Very shortly the well patient did die and the sick patient survived.

So take from that what you will but do not go all religious or get worried because of one strange episode.

[guest1163268]

On 9/7/2021 at 1:03 PM, GrumpyRN said:

Don't change your views, at worst it is hypoxia at best it could be used as proof of life after death. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing, to do with a "superior" being or "god like" figure. Certainly nothing to do with so called "heaven" or religion.

It would be nice to think that the inner part, the "me" survives after physical death.

So don't let this freak you out, you will see similar in the future.

I was told this story by a nurse who witnessed it and swore it was true - no reason to lie.

She was working in a Cardio-thoracic unit in UK. Lots of sick patients. One lady was expected to die very shortly. Another patient asked what was happening and was told about the imminent death. She replied, "Oh no, she isn't going to die tonight, but she is," pointing at another patient. When told that there was no way that lady was going to die as she was well and recovering fine the patient replied, "No, I can see all her family around her waiting for her. The sick lady does not have anyone there." I should add that there was no family visible to nursing staff. Very shortly the well patient did die and the sick patient survived.

So take from that what you will but do not go all religious or get worried because of one strange episode.

Victor could possibly drive anyone to death's door ?????

Also I have noticed my British relatives using that pass word instead of dead or death? What's that about? When did this begin? I can't remember anyone saying someone passed away before? It was they died or they were dead etc. 

[poppyboo]

To clarify, I wasn’t thinking there was a God per say, but more around “Oh my goodness, could there be something more?” But stories like the one GrumpyRN are passed around a lot at my site, and I can only listen in awe, wonder, and confusion. 

[GrumpyRN, NP]

On 9/7/2021 at 9:44 PM, Curious1997 said:

Victor could possibly drive anyone to death's door ?????

Also I have noticed my British relatives using that pass word instead of dead or death? What's that about? When did this begin? I can't remember anyone saying someone passed away before? It was they died or they were dead etc. 

Thank you for the, I want to say complement, but I'm not sure if that's the right word.??

We would tend to use pass in the past tense. For example, you could say that someone has "passed away" (although a simple "has died" would be more common) but you would not say that someone was about to "pass". It would definitely be that someone was about to/going to die.

[guest1163268]

26 minutes ago, GrumpyRN said:

Thank you for the, I want to say complement, but I'm not sure if that's the right word.??

We would tend to use pass in the past tense. For example, you could say that someone has "passed away" (although a simple "has died" would be more common) but you would not say that someone was about to "pass". It would definitely be that someone was about to/going to die.

Exactly as I remember it. But lately it seems to be becoming more American. No one practically ever says died here. It's always pass. Someone has passed, as a description. Drives me round the bend. Like pass, where? They bloody well died. But apparently we are too fragile to accept that. 

[PoodleBreath]

I've seen this happen with many hospice patients, and although there are physiological reasons to explain it, it's always so striking to me that so many people with so many different stories experience things at end of life in a very similar way. And I guess, at the beginning of life as well. As long as the patient isn't distressed then all is fine. I am always humbled by the spirituality and connection of the human experience and don't feel scared about it, or worry about religion or anything. I find it powerful and uplifting, a reminder that we're all a lot more like each other than we think.

[Guest1176712]

16 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

Exactly as I remember it. But lately it seems to be becoming more American. No one practically ever says died here. It's always pass. Someone has passed, as a description. Drives me round the bend. Like pass, where? They bloody well died. But apparently we are too fragile to accept that. 

Maybe passed on to the next life or realm? The body dies but the spirit passes. I like to read about Near Death Experiences. To me, they are comforting. I read them on nderf.org and iands.org from time to time. It fascinates me. Very refreshing to hear these stories here. Thank you for sharing!

[Daisy4RN]

On 9/6/2021 at 7:10 PM, poppyboo said:

Does anyone who’s worked with terminally ill patients have any testimonies of deathbed visions that changed their view on life after death? And maybe some words of advice/encouragement for someone who is super spooked by all of this?

Having worked Oncology for many years I have found this type of experience to be quite normal. I have heard many patients and family members who have had a change in their belief (encouraged and strengthened), or non belief systems (became believers). I have heard people, and heard of other people (from different nurses) who have stated that they saw angels in the room coming for their family member, or saw other family etc. 

On 9/6/2021 at 7:10 PM, poppyboo said:

 starting on the nursing track and I am FREAKED by this incident. This also spiraled into a major existential crisis, as I was pretty confidently agnostic before. Now I don’t know what to believe.

I would say just listen to that small voice inside talking to you and explore this further. 

https://peacewithgod.net/mobile/john-316-what-does-it-mean-mobile/

Wishing you well!!

[frozenmedic]

Not hospice, but working critical care I've seen this sort of peace come to patients, but there is one patient I will never forget.....60ish year old woman, dying of cancer, and expected to pass in hours to days.  I cared for her for most of a shift, she was incredibly weak, struggled to speak, but would talk to me whenever I checked on her.  It was clear she was in no pain, her face was serene, and she never made a single request of me.  Instead, she would consistently describe what she could see; which to her was a Christian version of heaven.  She told me she saw Jesus, that he was "beautiful and perfect" and she could "see the garden with golden streets." It wasn't her words specifically, but rather the obvious serenity she felt that I can't forget. 

I'm an atheist.....Neither this event nor any other has changed my mind. (In fact, the far more numerous examples of wanton human suffering have made me all the more convinced there cannot be a deity who has a plan, who cares, who is just in any way, or who has any power to do anything).  Instead, what I've chosen to believe is that as death approaches the combination of hypoxia, hypotension, and endogenous opioid release can powerfully affect the brain, and bring on hallucinations that are affected by the patient's long-standing beliefs. 

In the same way that psychiatric illness can presents differently among various cultures, it isn't hard for me to believe that any pathophysiologic process can be mediated by learned beliefs.

Regardless of what causes it, I am always truly glad when patients are able to spend their last moments without suffering or fear because

"An atheist loves his fellow man instead of god. An atheist believes that heaven is something for which we should work now – An atheist believes that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it, and enjoy it...He seeks to know himself and his fellow man rather than to know a god.

An atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An atheist believes that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated....He wants an ethical way of life.... He believes that we are our brother’s keepers and are keepers of our own lives; that we are responsible persons and the job is here and the time is now."

[Guest1176712]

Thank you for sharing. I strive to understand why people believe in whatever they choose to believe in. I respect it and I don't try to change anyone's mind.