I am going into my second year nursing school in a few weeks. For the summer, I wanted to get a CNA job to practice skills and get more comfortable with patients. My CNA certificate arrived two weeks ago, not alot of time to get a summer job. I applied at a local LTC facility and got the job immediately (short staffed). I worked for 3 days before I quit.
I was given orientation for the first three days, by working side-by-side with an experienced CNA. I took many notes on patient preferences and routines. I wanted to be very prepared and helpful.
I found myself not sleeping through the night, rather I was running scenarios through my head about "what if's" and how I could better organize myself to accomplish the careplan items and get the residents to/from meals and showers, etc. Worried about bed alarms, tab alarms, are they on? did I forget? Diabetic? Aspiration risk? Fall risk? etc. etc. I also couldn't eat, I knew I had to have something to eat to keep my strength up, but could only eat a couple bites of food--whether at home or during my 30 lunch break. I cried on my lunch break:bluecry1:, watching the clock so I could try to stop in time to dry my eyes up before returning to work.
I was only 3 days into work, normally an adjustment period for everyone, but I was paniking about how I would be able to do everything during my shift, and do it well and initial off that everything was complete.
I was about to do my final day of orientation on day 4 and I choked. I was having a really hard time getting out of bed, and motivated to get to work. I was basically scared that I wouldn't be able to do transfers properly and I didn't know all the residents yet, and they didn't have ID bands or names on their wheelchairs. I called the DON and quit.
The staff was good, pleasant, the residents were okay. They were definitely short staffed and use agency CNA's alot. I would have been able to make a difference, over time, I know. What's wrong with me?
Will I still make a good nurse? I have been told I over analyze, and that I think too much and that I need to 'back up a bit'. Is there someone who can identify with me? I'm scaring my husband:eek:, because of the schooling that I have done so far, he's worried that I'll finish school and not be able to do the work.
I think I will be fine after graduation, especially because nursing has so many options, or so I have been told.
I could have written your post, except I chickened out on getting a CNA summer job! I'm regretting it now that school is starting up again, but just like you, it would have taken almost too long to even get the certificate in order to work. (Or that is how I'm rationalizing it.)
I also watch sweet, nice movies to help me relax and let go of that "impending doom" feeling, which is how I think of it. My favorite is A Christmas Story. Ralphie always seems to calm me down. I've gone through two VHS copies and am on my second DVD. I'm also a cartoon fan, so I watch my DVDs of Futurama, Home Movies, and The Venture Bros.
I used to make myself sick before school too, spending time in the bathroom. I can usually talk myself down now. When I start worrying so much my stomach starts churning, I know I've gone too far. I tell myself that this worrying I'm doing is not going to change what has already happened or what will happen. It never has and never will. At first it was hard to stop the worrying, because I felt like if I didn't spend an appropriate amount of time worrying, things would go even more wrong. But how is that possible, right? It's like I sometimes think that worrying about something gives me control over the situation. It's hard to break old habits.
Something that helps me in clinicals is to act confident even when I'm feeling scared. It sounds simple but it does work sometimes.
Anyway, I agree with other posters who suggested you see a doctor. Good luck! You can do this!
I have a story. I had perfect attendence during LPN school...except for one hour. Clinicals made me a mess. I literally would stay in a fetal position and just cry. I couldn't eat or sleep. I wanted to quit so badly. My grades were excellent though. My teachers said I was doing fine. I was just terrified. My husband made me an appointment with a therapist and my family doctor. He got me into the doctors the next day. He begged me not to quit until I tried everything. The only appointment he could get meant that I had to leave school an hour early. I agreed. It was the best thing I could have done. The therapist made me see things differently and the doctor put me on a low dose of lexapro. I did not get the award for perfect attendance. I had that one missing hour. It is my reminder of how desperate I was and how close I was to quitting. Now I am a working LPN loving the field. I am also starting my RN nursing classes in January. I can't imagine anyone being as anxiety ridden as I was. I never want to forget that awful feeling. It makes me remember how far I have come. Also, I have learned to believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I went through all my "issues" so I have a better understanding of the patients that express anxiety. I get it. Also, don't worry if your first job doesn't workout. Mine didn't. There is always another job out there. Good luck. Hang in there. If I can do it, you certainly can. Colleen
I don't want to post a negative reply-but- If you were that stressed out over a NA position functioning as a RN in likely to put you in a straight jacket. I'M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD DROP OUT OF NURSING. We need nurses who aim for prefection and worry about thier patients getting the care they deserve. I would rather you see this as a lucky discovery and talk to your student advisor, pastor, family doctor, or whatever resource you are comfortable using and put some serious effort into a stress management program. I can't advise you as to what form this may take- meds, meditation, behavior modification, nutrition, yoga.... There are MANY ways of developing better coping skills. You will be a much more successful nurse if you gain these skills now. This may mean taking a semester off to really focus on this need-maybe not. You will have to decide that for yourself. One of the best nurses I've ever worked with had similar problems with stress and solved it with Yoga and a regular exercise routine.
I am not trying to be harsh, but I think you gave up on the CNA job way too soon. After 3 days, anyone would still be really nervous. What are you going to do when you get a nursing job and it is 20 times more stressfull with 20 times more responsibility and you feel 20 times worse/nervous? Seriously??? I know that CNA's have a really tough job, probably even more so in a LTC facility but with some time management and some time on the job, you should be able to hand that if you want to be a RN someday. I would definately be seeing a professional to take care of your anxiety before you get a nursing job because it is going to put you over the edge if you don't.
I am going into my second year nursing school in a few weeks. For the summer, I wanted to get a CNA job to practice skills and get more comfortable with patients. My CNA certificate arrived two weeks ago, not alot of time to get a summer job. I applied at a local LTC facility and got the job immediately (short staffed). I worked for 3 days before I quit.
I was given orientation for the first three days, by working side-by-side with an experienced CNA. I took many notes on patient preferences and routines. I wanted to be very prepared and helpful.
I found myself not sleeping through the night, rather I was running scenarios through my head about "what if's" and how I could better organize myself to accomplish the careplan items and get the residents to/from meals and showers, etc. Worried about bed alarms, tab alarms, are they on? did I forget? Diabetic? Aspiration risk? Fall risk? etc. etc. I also couldn't eat, I knew I had to have something to eat to keep my strength up, but could only eat a couple bites of food--whether at home or during my 30 lunch break. I cried on my lunch break:bluecry1:, watching the clock so I could try to stop in time to dry my eyes up before returning to work.
I was only 3 days into work, normally an adjustment period for everyone, but I was paniking about how I would be able to do everything during my shift, and do it well and initial off that everything was complete.
I was about to do my final day of orientation on day 4 and I choked. I was having a really hard time getting out of bed, and motivated to get to work. I was basically scared that I wouldn't be able to do transfers properly and I didn't know all the residents yet, and they didn't have ID bands or names on their wheelchairs. I called the DON and quit.
The staff was good, pleasant, the residents were okay. They were definitely short staffed and use agency CNA's alot. I would have been able to make a difference, over time, I know. What's wrong with me?
Will I still make a good nurse? I have been told I over analyze, and that I think too much and that I need to 'back up a bit'. Is there someone who can identify with me? I'm scaring my husband:eek:, because of the schooling that I have done so far, he's worried that I'll finish school and not be able to do the work.
I think I will be fine after graduation, especially because nursing has so many options, or so I have been told.
There isn't anything wrong with you. Your concerns tell me that you will be a better nurse than I will be...even as my preceptors and nurse managers tell me how impressed they are with me.
YOU SOUND LIKE ME!! I actually did not even start the nursing program yet, but i do start in TWO days...
Anyway, I am a COMPLETE worrier. There have been several times already where i've said "Should i change my major simply because of my nervous/anxiety issue?".... But the answer is no, because i wont let it control my life and prevent me from doing what i truly want to do. I am only 20 years old and have already taken anti-anxiety medicine in the past, but i stopped for reasons that i cant remember...but i used to get bad panic attacks, and just be very nervous about tiny things in life...which i knew was irrational but i couldnt help it.
I can completely relate to how you felt during your CNA orientation... Because i am terrified that will be me. And it sounds like something i would do. Thats how much stress gets to me. So really, i understand.
I have gone to a therapist before but not in a while..because i dont have the terrible panic attacks i once did. But the anxiety is always there. The medicine helped me a lot....and i keep telling myself "If nursing school becomes too much, i will go back on medicine". So i am fully prepared to take that step and get myself help when needed...
You got this far!!! If it wasnt for your anxiety would you even consider not being a nurse?.... You are just like me, i swear. Try medication, or try something..anything. I dont even know you but I know you can do it...
I think we should start a club. We'll call it the "Nervous Nellie Nursing Society". We are or will be great nurses, with just a little anxiety. I am 50, an LVN, and starting 3rd semester of the RN program next week. My stress level is enormous, and yes I too have the panic attacks and anxiety about doing everything right. We just have to push through it guys because we will be great nurses who care about doing a great job. I have had a prescription for Lexapro for over a year and have been fighting taking it, not started yet, but I think I will try it and see if it enables me to calm down a bit. Because if we are a nervous wreck it is hard to think anyway. By the way, I got an A in my nursing transition class (LVN to RN Bridge Class) so you can definitely do it too if I can do it. I feel like I have to study a little harder than most (could be age, menopause) but I'm not giving up. Follow your dreams. You can do whatever you want to do in this life. Why not do something worthwhile where you can help others. That's why I changed careers midlife. Tired of pushing papers. God bless us all nervous nellies. :bowingpur:yelclap::yelclap::anpom::anpom::anpom:
:bowingpur:yelclap::yelclap::anpom::anpom::anpom:
bekindtokittens
353 Posts
I could have written your post, except I chickened out on getting a CNA summer job! I'm regretting it now that school is starting up again, but just like you, it would have taken almost too long to even get the certificate in order to work. (Or that is how I'm rationalizing it.)
I also watch sweet, nice movies to help me relax and let go of that "impending doom" feeling, which is how I think of it. My favorite is A Christmas Story. Ralphie always seems to calm me down. I've gone through two VHS copies and am on my second DVD. I'm also a cartoon fan, so I watch my DVDs of Futurama, Home Movies, and The Venture Bros.
I used to make myself sick before school too, spending time in the bathroom. I can usually talk myself down now. When I start worrying so much my stomach starts churning, I know I've gone too far. I tell myself that this worrying I'm doing is not going to change what has already happened or what will happen. It never has and never will. At first it was hard to stop the worrying, because I felt like if I didn't spend an appropriate amount of time worrying, things would go even more wrong. But how is that possible, right? It's like I sometimes think that worrying about something gives me control over the situation. It's hard to break old habits.
Something that helps me in clinicals is to act confident even when I'm feeling scared. It sounds simple but it does work sometimes.
Anyway, I agree with other posters who suggested you see a doctor. Good luck! You can do this!