Peers are "concerned" about me... This is really long.

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Specializes in Oncology.

Hi! I just found this site, and I'm so grateful because I feel like I finally can relate to someone! Here is my situation:

I graduated in August from nursing school and started as an RN on the same oncology floor I had been working

on for the previous 3 1/2 years. When I started, I was about 7 weeks pregnant. My orientation was very smooth, and I transitioned very well into my role as a new RN. I was working nights, but waiting for a day position to become available because of my seniority. Night shift was fine, but it didn't agree with my need for quality sleep, especially right then. A day position became available in January, so I started on days just after the new year.

Initially, my transition to days went fairly smoothly. I struggled a bit with some things, but because my orientation was so recent, I remembered most things that needed to be done. I worked on days for 2 1/2 weeks without any issues, when we literally picked up our entire unit and moved to a completely different hospital (within the same network). Everyone I worked with came along, but we were suddenly in a completely new setting with a different protocol for pharmacy, for paging doctors/residents, the charts were in different places, new meds were in our pyxis that we didn't know were there... and our new unit was shaped completely differently. This meant walking about 150% more than in our previous unit.

At first this transition was difficult, but I felt like I was beginning to get the hang of things. Everyone was in the same boat, struggling to figure out how to get STAT meds in a STAT way, paging the wrong docs over and over again, etc. At our previous hospital, we wouldn't think of leaving before all of the orders for our patients had been signed off. Now, we HAD to leave before signing off orders because it was taking so long. Half of the time, I couldn't even find the chart because one doc or another had it in some other room. We didn't have any of the supplies we needed for dressing changes or any other tasks. Most of the time, I'd get all of my meds ready to give, reach for a syringe in which to draw something up and realize that there weren't any syringes stocked. All in all, lots of time was wasted simply trying to FIND stuff.

Because of all this difficulty, a lot of tasks and orders were handed off to the next shift. And this wasn't just me, the previous shift did the same to me, and I understood it to be a temporary necessity because of our transition. Well, a couple of weeks ago (as I was nearing 8 1/2 months pregnant), I had a very rough day where my patients were all on opposite ends of our unit which = WAY more walking than usual. I did my best to tie up all the loose ends before I left for the day, but one of my patients was off the floor for a procedure so I couldn't get to the orders... The next day, I planned on going in to discuss the situation with my manager, explain to her that I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job and wanting to discuss my options for an early maternity leave.

When I went in to talk to her, she said that she had been meaning to talk to me because some of my "peers" had expressed some "concerns" about me working the day shift. She couldn't give me anything specific and wouldn't tell me who had these concerns, but only said that it seemed to some of my coworkers that I didn't always know what was going on with my patients and that things weren't being completed when they thought they should be. I was totally shocked by this, because I had repeatedly told people *as we were in report* to please tell me if I forgot something or left something out because I was new.

So of course I freaked out, crying uncontrollably for like an hour, all the while thinking of the things that I WASN'T getting done in my last hour of my shift. I expressed to my manager that I really need to know WHAT needs to improve in order to change anything, and asked her to please encourage people to either be specific or to speak directly with me. I told her that I was concerned that these other nurses were not being completely fair with this situation, because I felt like they were expecting me to immediately operate with the same proficiency of my previous position. I said that this is NOT my standard for myself, and I'm really disappointed and concerned about how my peers are perceiving me.

At this point, I was looking for some sort of reassurance from my manager that I was still a good RN, but because of all of the transitions going on, we were all in the same boat. Instead, she told me that if these concerns were to continue we would have to seek disciplinary action-- for something she couldn't even specify. All she could offer was a statement that I have the potential to recover from this. That's it. No encouraging words about what I've done RIGHT, no reassurance that this has happened to other people. Nothing.

SO... I ended up taking an early maternity leave. That day was my last day. And now, I'm still riddled with anxiety and thoughts about what I really did wrong. I'm frustrated with my manager for not providing what I needed most (she has a history of poor communication), and I'm angry with my co-workers for not coming to me first and going to my manager so quickly. I've started looking at other positions, because I've been in this one for 6 months and we can transfer after that.

My questions are: 1) Am I selling myself short by leaving after 6 months after working with these people for almost 4 years now? 2) Is this a good enough reason to look for work somewhere else? or 3) Are my expectations just too high of my manager and coworkers and perhaps I should just accept that this is the world in which I work?

Any input would be appreciated, especially encouraging input... And sorry this is so long!

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Specializes in cardiac/critical care/ informatics.

no if she can't be specific than it more like that she doesn't like you for some reason. I would look to go someplace else. Good luck.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

i agree that you may wish to look at another place to work if your manger cannot be more forthcoming. take the time you have during your maternity leave to reassess your situation and look at all of your options. with my last baby i was not a nurse but i had a job where i was so stressed out i could barely function. i also was unable to transfer positions because my boss refused to allow any transfers (good or bad). so, i took the time during maternity leave to find another employer and was able to leave my place of work two weeks after returning from leave! :) i am not suggesting that you find another job unless you have no choice.

in my hospital you can only transfer if you have a good evaluation after a particular time frame. you cannot transfer if you have a poor evaluation and it looks like you may receive a poor one after 6 months. btw, how long was your orientation? some people who worked on a unit prior to becoming a nurse can get short changed. i know of a former cna who got six weeks of orientation on her unit!!

-new grad nurse who will need to be kicked off of orientation if it is before 6 months.

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Specializes in cardiac rehab, medical/tele, psychiatric.

I had a very rough day where my patients were all on opposite ends of our unit which = WAY more walking than usual. I did my best to tie up all the loose ends before I left for the day, but one of my patients was off the floor for a procedure so I couldn't get to the orders... The next day, I planned on going in to discuss the situation with my manager, explain to her that I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job and wanting to discuss my options for an early maternity leave.

When I went in to talk to her, she said that she had been meaning to talk to me because some of my "peers" had expressed some "concerns" about me working the day shift. She couldn't give me anything specific and wouldn't tell me who had these concerns, but only said that it seemed to some of my coworkers that I didn't always know what was going on with my patients and that things weren't being completed when they thought they should be. I was totally shocked by this, because I had repeatedly told people *as we were in report* to please tell me if I forgot something or left something out because I was new.

SO... I ended up taking an early maternity leave. That day was my last day. And now, I'm still riddled with anxiety and thoughts about what I really did wrong. My questions are: 1) Am I selling myself short by leaving after 6 months after working with these people for almost 4 years now? 2) Is this a good enough reason to look for work somewhere else? or 3) Are my expectations just too high of my manager and coworkers and perhaps I should just accept that this is the world in which I work?

Any input would be appreciated, especially encouraging input... And sorry this is so long!

Before you took an early leave did you explain that it was too much walking for you? I work on a floor where the lay out is awful; when some of the nurses got pregnant the charge nurse made sure they had patients that were close to each other.

I would try to get some further clarification about the manager's expectations and disciplinary policies. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a general statement either. Did you tell her you have been pro-active while giving report? If you truly feel like you're not doing a good job, you should discuss that with your manager and work out a plan.

It's hard to say whether you should leave, you have to trust your instincts. But I would recommend you have a plan in place for when you return, if that is what you chose.

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Specializes in Oncology.

I did explain to her that the walking was too much; and before our conversation, I had tried to explain to the charge nurses that my assignments needed to be close together. They would just look at me like I was whining and tell me this is the way it was going to be that day. I also told the manager that I was pro-active during report, AND that I was planning on discussing my perceptions of my own performance that same day. She didn't even really respond to any of that, except to say that for what ever reason my peers were concerned. I feel like I did a great job before we moved to the new floor and my feet started swelling to the point I could barely walk at the end of the day. I did talk to a trusted friend on the floor who is also an experienced RN, and she agreed to help me figure out where I could improve, and to offer feedback on a regular basis. When this all happened, I didn't know that it was going to be my last day; it wasn't until my doctor's appointment the next day that I was officially taken off work.

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Specializes in Psych, ER, Resp/Med, LTC, Education.

Honestly I have to wonder if this is just a common thing for newer nurses on med/surg floors.......I see this stuff so often here and frankly I think that the whole--nurses eat their young thing seems to happen in ERs and Med/Surg floors more then most other places. I had a not s great experience doing medical and frankly did as long as I could to get the experience I needed to get the H*** out of there!! I had problems as well. I had one nurse in particular that was just my living hell!! She would LOOK for things every second and be up my you know what all the time for everything--stupid things. I felt very targeted my her but my manager could not see this. She would give me a hard time and write LISTS of every TINY little thing she thought I had misses, not done right, not done perfect--in her eyes, it was out of control!! The thing that made me the most nuts was that 97% of the things she was complaining about were things that other nurses did ALL THE TIME!!! LOL But god forbid you try to say that in a meeting with the witch and the manager as she throw ya under the bus....."but everyone does that stuff, not just me!!"......like I swear I hardly EVER sat or stopped working and even seldom took lunch or if I did it was 10 minutes..... but she would do things like tell the manager I was not getting my meds out on time........well when you are constantly stopped by families, techs wanting this or that, the ABX you need is not up and you have to spend the time getting it, you go to hang a med and the patients IV is blown, you have someone getting all meds via PEG and gotta crush and bla, bla, bla, then theres the geri with 27 meds and they can only take them one at a time with applesauce, the tech comes to get you to say they were emptying a colostomy bag and the whole thing came off and the patient is laying in a lake of poo and has a stage 4, then your vent patients vent keeps alarming......then she desats and you have to stop and get RT there stat and manage this minor emergency, the list goes on and on and on as you continue to rush rush rush to get your meds out in time and yeah your finally done and only 20 min late....Im thinking damm not bad considering all the things that came up!!! But then she goes to my manager and has a fit saying my meds were late!!! Ummm hello....... What more can one person with 2 hands do? Then its you missed this box here on this chart, just stupid little things........This was never ending and this woman was never happy with me. No matter if I felt like okay--got my rollerskates and cape today and finish thinking I think I didn't miss anything.........she still would find something. anything. It was her mission. I was having horrible anxiety and even on meds cause of her!!! Eventually I decided I didn't love medical that much--it was not worth my sanity so I left to Psych and have NEVER regretted it. Got the time I needed to learn the basics and moved on. I figure maybe it was her maybe I was not cut out for medical but either way is fine with me.

The way I see it running to the manager with every little thing and forgetting that they were once new too is the problem. I don't see them trying to help but bound to drive new nurses out and make them feel like crap. ---Now I know there are some good eggs out there that are not like this but unfortunately not enough of you!!!!!

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

It sounds like the day nurses and charge/manager have decided (for whatever reason) that they don't like you. This crap happens all the time and I hope you won't take it personally.

Maybe you can go back to your old shift, or perhaps you should start looking for another job. Which isn't easy right now with the economy.

Nurses really do eat their young. I have seen it a million times.

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Specializes in Oncology.

The most surprising thing about this whole situation is that the people who are having the biggest problem with me aren't the nurses who have been there for 35 years, or even 10 years. They're the ones who have about 3 or 4 years of experience who are now confident in their role as an RN. The older nurses have been nothing but supportive and helpful.

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Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.

I told this to my preceptor the other day, if you can't give me a specific complaint then I can't improve can I? Just saying somethings I need to work on is not enough and I would tell my manager that too!

I've become very mouthy of late........

But I think that maybe you need this break and afterward you can tackle this problem with full force. For now focus on your new baby! Congrats!

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

Do you maybe think it is a shift war thing? A few places I have worked treated employees like this when they switched shifts. They wanted to make sure the employee who switched shifts knew "their" shift was busier.

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