Pediatric Deaths: Help with coping?

lsyorke, RN · May 5, 2006

The day you stop crying for a child who has died, is the day that you should quit. Those who chose to work in pediatrics are special people. You have my utmost respect.

Trauma Columnist · May 5, 2006

I too work in a large level one trauma center and specialized peds care. It can be heartbreaking to work here. We also have a very active Critical Incident Stress Debriefing system and this has been a lifesaver. If your ER doesn't have this in place, please consider lookintg into it. Also, your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) can help. It is anonymous and confidential and can help you put things into perspective. I wish you well. You have to be able to maintain a separateness in order to keep your sanity. We see the dregs of society on some days and it is impossible (at least for me) to justify some folks existence.

bopps · May 5, 2006

I almost started crying when I read your post... I am an EMT that works in an ER (also a senior year ADN student). I too find it exceedly hard to deal with kids deaths. I always weep when a kid dies, always. It might not be right at the seen but the tears will fall in torrents some time within 48 hours of the incident. How do I cope? I pray, and try to envision the dear kids in the arms of their Jesus. Sometimes I write about it. And after one particularly traumatic event(two darling boys and their Grandpa DOA) I got counseling. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone, so you know you are not alone in your grief. I don't know your faith, but whatever it is know those darlings are in a better place. Those boys' mom gave me pictures of them, I carry them around in my car. Maybe thats morbid, but I feel like I am carrying two angels with me wherever I go. So thats how I deal with it. Maybe I have lost my marbles. I don't know, but somehow I keep going because I know I am supposed to do what I do. Sorry for rambling. I will say a prayer for you tonight.Peace

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · May 5, 2006

Hi, Fellow RN's.
I am new to this post, so forgive any ignorance.
I work in a fast paced Children's ED, and recently we have had at least a Code a week with a negative outcome. We had a child die this week and I think I was at the brink of "loosing it"...I was crying over the dead body and actually said aloud, "I do not think I can take another dead child". Several of us really have had a difficult time with this. So much so that I am considering changing jobs.
Has anyone else gone thru this, have any advice, Scripture or books? Any advice is appreciated.
Thanks,
Melissa

Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 4:5

To every thing there is a season, a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born,

a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal,

a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance Ecclesiastes3:1-4

King David mourned over the death of his son Absalom and cried out to God 2 Samuel 18:32-33 and 2 Samuel 19

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:6

I hope these help!

pfitz1079 · May 5, 2006

The AHA PALS program has an excellent module on coping with the death of a child. It offers good stuff for both the provider's well being, and for things like parental notification.

mom2gabriel · May 8, 2006

Thank you so much for those! They are very helpful...