With some of the things patients say, Nurses sometimes wonder if they are on a hidden camera TV show! Weird, wacky or even touching, those phrases stick with us. Think of your favorite thing a patient has said, submit it in the comments below and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE June 5, 2017
The winner of the $250 amazon.com gift card for favorite thing a patient has said from allnurses.com is user jndmj30 for:
I had a pt try to pee on me. When asked why he was trying to pee on me, he stated he wasnt. I told him He was aim at me. He then stated, "I might be aiming at you but I am not peeing on you, am I"
"I don't use earplugs, they're psychosomatic" In all fairness, he thought most things were psychosomatic, including ibuprofen because, as he explained, anti-inflammatory properties have nothing to do with pain.
Phone call today, P: "Hi, I need to make an appointment for the emergency room please." Me:"You don't need an appointment for the emergency room, you can just come in." P: "But I don't want to wait." ...
We had just finished disposing of a patients heroine that he brought into rehab. He looks at me and said "I want it back." I said no. He goes on and on about how it isn't his and he has to give it back to the person who gave it to him. I keep explaining, no. It is not a legal substance, he doesn't have a prescription for it, it is not in a bottle from a pharmacy with a lable, etc. He calmly asked to speak to my supervisor. I tell her what is going on and she tells him no. Then he tried to grab the sharps container that it was destroyed in and run with it. He only got a few steps. Still complaining that he wanted his heroin back.
My psych patient was having a major episode and would scream at the top of her lungs all day. I was in the process of having her sent out. Well we had two hospice patients actively dying in the next room with tons of family. Disgruntled family irritated with screaming patient. So I kindly go in hoping for sympathy and ask to please stop screaming because two of her neighbors were dying. Her response as loud as she could scream "I know they are f***ing dying I'm hoping I'll help the b**ches die faster! I have a hidden camera in my tw*t!"
First day of being a nurse I was asked to put in a male catheter and when I went to inform the patient he said,"Good Luck hunny, their isn't much there to grab onto." I had no words to say and I'm sure I turned as red as a tomato.
My son was extubated at 4 days. He kept trying to tell the doctors something but he was hard to understand plus he was on bipap. One of the fellows took off the bipap and asked him what he said. My 14 year old looked around and said "you all are so stupid!"
Another nurse and I had to get a urine sample from a female patient via in/out cath who was known to sometimes say vulgar things. We explained the procedure to her and she looked us dead in the eyes and said "well ain't y'all just a bunch of p***y watchers"
My second year as a nurse, I had an elderly dementia pt. I was doing rounds, and when I arrived to her room, she was sitting up in her bed and it had appeared that she had removed every piece of clothing she had on. I asked if she was okay and if she maybe felt that it was too hot in her room and she replied with (sarcastically, might I add), "No, I just thought it'd be a good idea to sit here with my t!tt!es out so you all could have a free show! YES, I'M HOT!" 😂 It took every ounce of me not to lose it and laugh my butt off in front of her.
dashiel4582
2 Posts
I had a pt try to pee on me. When asked why he was trying to pee on me, he stated he wasnt. I told him He was aim at me. He then stated, "I might be aiming at you but I am not peeing on you, am I"