With some of the things patients say, Nurses sometimes wonder if they are on a hidden camera TV show! Weird, wacky or even touching, those phrases stick with us. Think of your favorite thing a patient has said, submit it in the comments below and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE June 5, 2017
The winner of the $250 amazon.com gift card for favorite thing a patient has said from allnurses.com is user jndmj30 for:
I had a patient once that swore to me that he had a bullet still lodged in his head and that if he focused hard enough, it would shoot out of his forehead. Then he goes "Wanna see?"
Schizophrenia patients keep the medical floor interesting...
Patient, and entire family all with freshly dyed black hair. "We heard that dying your hair kills lice so we all dyed our hair". Family obviously still had lice, only now you couldn't see it due to it being dyed black.
*straight Cath a 18 y/o M trauma patient who apparently was a virgin.
Explained the procedure, patient had a terrified look. He is talking the entire time as I perform the straight Cath.
Patient: did you just take my virginity?
Me: No, just your urine.
Patient: congrats you have my number 1 spot for awkward moments in my life.
Me: you're doing pretty good if this is the most awkward moment in your life so far.
Patient: after this will you take a picture with me so I can remember this moment forever?
*mom comes back into room and overly excited offers to take the picture .. 6 hours later had to do the same procedure and then the patient ask me out on a date. I said no then he asked me,to buy him a Pepsi because I touched his special spot. 😂
89 year old woman had a heart attack while reading a romance novel. I, jokingly, suggested she might switch genres, to which she replied, "if that's the way I'm gonna go out, then that's the way I'm gonna go out!"
While taking care of an elderly patient with dementia in the CCU, her cardiologist Dr. Wurtzbacher was at the bedside. As he was leaving the room, the patient tried to call him back, but couldn't quite get his name correct. Quite loudly, she hollered "Hey Dr Worst Focker". He turned 20 shades of red and all the nurses just cracked up.
Taking a patient for a walk outside. He takes of his oxygen and hands it to me. "Hold this for me while I smoke. Stay close by, I might get out of breath."
While working on a Med/Surg unit, one of my patients was confused and spend the entire shift yelling out, "Help Me, Help Me, Help Me". After about 2 hours of his yelling "Help Me", another confused patient across the hall starting yelling, "Shut Up". We finished the day laughing because every time he would yell, "help me, help me,help" it was followed by "shut up".
Many years ago a male patient was brought to our ICU for cardioversion, I gave him 2mg of versed per order, charged the debrillator and shocked him, he sat straight up looked around the room, shook his head with a big grin and said"Wow! What a woman!"
There wasn't a dry eye in the room and we still had to try converting him again
Lady_Leijing, BSN
71 Posts
I had a patient once that swore to me that he had a bullet still lodged in his head and that if he focused hard enough, it would shoot out of his forehead. Then he goes "Wanna see?"
Schizophrenia patients keep the medical floor interesting...