Patient’s family threatening to report me to BNE

[GilligansPlace]

So, long story short, my patient’s daughter (also a nurse) threatened me and informed me She was reporting me to the BNE. The patient had a hypotensive episode and she was upset I called the physician (who then said he would come see her right away) versus calling a Rapid Response. I implemented the physicians orders and then I did actually end up calling a RR because he did not arrive as quickly as I expected. The whole incident from onset to RR was 27 minutes.

The physician’s progress note states (in his own words) that the daughter was upset but he informed her that the nurse had called him and he was en route to see her when I called the RR. Nothing was done in the RR except labs being drawn because I had already started a fluid bolus prior to calling it per the orders received from calling the physician. The physician was actually going to leave the patient on the OBS floor, but ended up transferring her to IMC to appease the family essentially.

Myself, the charge RN and the physician all documented the aggression of the patients daughter, but I’ve never been threatened before and I’m honestly more upset of being accused of being a bad nurse than anything else.

I did tell the daughter that I would not stand backed into a corner while she yelled at me (my tech actually came in from three doors down to see if she needed to call security because she was yelling so loud) and I think that really set her off.

The family ‘fired’ me and I left the room (patients pressures were 90s/60s at this point and literally everyone else had left the unit from the RR, including the doctor). I charted her threats, quoted some of her comments and noted that she was extremely aggressive and displaying threatening body language (leaning toward me, waving her hands and pointing at my face).

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has been threatened with report to the BNE and what happened? The physician said he thought I acted appropriately, the charge nurse said she could see the daughter’s point (and honestly I do too, I’m more upset about the confrontational aspect of it than the actual criticism I think). Thoughts or advice?

[irvine123]

Sad

[Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN]

On 1/28/2020 at 9:08 AM, GilligansPlace said:

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has been threatened with report to the BNE and what happened? The physician said he thought I acted appropriately, the charge nurse said she could see the daughter’s point (and honestly I do too, I’m more upset about the confrontational aspect of it than the actual criticism I think). Thoughts or advice?

Oh darling worried nurse,i am going to skip saying the "appropriate "thing and tell you from my gut,you are so lucky you do not work or are employed by "wrong way &*(^ Hospital ,because there your tush would be in a sling with so called "investigations" from administration because you are guilty even if proven Innocent. I always said if you got shot by a bullet it would be your fault for getting in its way.....good luck hope all turns out well.

[socal1]

On 1/30/2020 at 4:51 PM, Serhilda said:

Your misogyny was a bit too thinly veiled this time, it's showing pretty loud and clear. Go into welding, oil and gas, or literally anything else if you have a problem with women. No one is forcing you to stay.

Not misogyny when you see it posted on here all the time, and how nurses feel so worried about license issues, you wouldn't see things like this in any other medical profession about license issues.

[Megarline, CNA]

On 1/30/2020 at 7:05 PM, socal1 said:

Not misogyny when you see it posted on here all the time, and how nurses feel so worried about license issues, you wouldn't see things like this in any other medical profession about license issues.

Perhaps, the other medical professionals don't work as nurses and doctors. How about you share with these people which medical professions don't get abuse?

Well, I just saw an RT being chewed by a pt. Probably, you should thank your profession for not being threatened each time you make a mistake. Or, are you dealing with patients who need a pat in the back at the back of your facility?

[socal1]

On 1/30/2020 at 7:21 PM, Megarline said:

Perhaps, the other medical professionals don't work as nurses and doctors. How about you share with these people which medical professions doesn't get abuse?

Well, I just saw an RT being chewed by a pt. Probably, you should thank your profession for not being threatened each time you make a mistake. Or, are you deal with patients who need a pat in the back at the back of your facility?

I don't think you understood what i meant, i was implying that nurses as a whole for some reason worry about doing something wrong and having something occur to their license much more often, and they are usually reported by their own peers for petty reasons. while other medical professions don't have this attitude.

[Megarline, CNA]

Quote

I don't think you understood what i meant, i was implying that nurses as a whole for some reason worry about doing something wrong and having something occur to their license much more often, and they are usually reported by their own peers for petty reasons. while other medical professions don't have this attitude.

Thank you for correcting it. That's just terrible that nurses who are like that you're describing will try to destroy other nurses.

[Ktb5142]

I would’ve told her to go ahead and report me then. You did nothing wrong, everyone knows that, she knows that, the patient is fine. Let her throw her temper tantrum. It is what it is. You did everything right as far as I can see.

[turtlesRcool]

Everyone's facility has a different RRT make up, but in my facility, it's a doctor, RT, and venous access nurse. So, in my facility, I'd have done exactly what OP did. There's no need for the RT if breathing is fine, no need for IV nurse if patient has good access (which she did, as OP was able to bolus her), and the MD was already on the way and had given orders over the phone.

Much better to get orders from the doctor who actually knows the patient and can give OP phone orders to work with immediately, than to wait for random RRT doctor to arrive, be brought up to speed, and then give orders.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 1/28/2020 at 8:52 AM, GilligansPlace said:

Thank you. I’m so upset that anyone would think I wasn’t acting in the best interest of my patients. I was so surprised to have another nurse act that way. I know it’s a high stress situation though.

I don't see where you did anything wrong, based on your report here.

Just realize that the daughter was a daughter at that point, not a nurse. That is, she was not impartial. She was frightened for her loved one and not at her professional best. She was not in her nurse role at that point.

How is the patient?

I think we nurses really get punished when our loved ones are ill. It is very hard to lay aside our knowledge and experience and just trust that nurses, doctors, and other workers are all totally at their professional best. We know all too well that things can and do go awry all too often and we feel compelled to be vigilant and we can't help it.

Wishing you the best.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 1/31/2020 at 3:19 AM, Ktb5142 said:

I would’ve told her to go ahead and report me then. You did nothing wrong, everyone knows that, she knows that, the patient is fine. Let her throw her temper tantrum. It is what it is. You did everything right as far as I can see.

It wasn't a temper tantrum. She was afraid. And I would really hesitate to bait a fearful, agitated person.

The best thing to do is try to get away from the person, just end the encounter, not perceive them as angry so much as frightened, worried about their loved one.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 1/28/2020 at 1:48 PM, TriciaJ said:

1. Paragraphs are your friend. Ours, too.

2. Was this the first obnoxious family member you've had to deal with? I hope I'm wrong, but she probably won't be the last.

3. Are you sure she's a nurse, other than she said so? If she really is, her conduct was unbecoming and unprofessional, even if she wasn't on duty.

4. Never defend yourself when someone is being that aggressive. It actually makes them feel more powerful and escalates the situation because they're enjoying it. It works better to stand up straight, make firm eye contact and say: "You need to back up. And put your arms down." "You need to lower your voice." Speak slowly, clearly. You can speak with volume, but do not let your pitch go up any octaves. That is how you regain control. "I will get the charge nurse for you if you have issues with how things were done."

5. Complaints to the Board? Yeah, right. Go for it.

6. Lose the idea of being a "good" or "bad" nurse. You are a proficient and conscientious nurse. Other people's behaviour reflects on them, not you.

7. It always feels crappy afterward to have been slimed like that. That's how the daughter feels most of the time, until she has occasions to transfer some of her slime to others. At this moment, she's probably fighting with the power company because her bill is too high, or with the barista because her latte was too hot. It's what she does.

Treat yourself to something nice today, as a reward and compensation for having been slimed. It goes with the job sometimes, but can serve as a handy excuse to treat yourself.

I was with you til you belittled the daughter - #7. I think the dtr was afraid. And sometimes fear masquerades as anger.

[TriciaJ, RN]

17 minutes ago, Kooky Korky said:

I was with you til you belittled the daughter - #7. I think the dtr was afraid. And sometimes fear masquerades as anger.

That might well be. But it was the OP who was reeling from such an interaction. And sometimes even fear-based behaviour is over the top. And there are people who pick fights everywhere they go, with or without a pretext. I wanted the OP to stop second-guessing herself and get some perspective. She's the one who reached out to us; not the daughter.