Parent Pet Peeves

[ICRN2008]

I love most of my parents, but I have a few pet peeves that really irk me, such as:

1) Parents who insist that you not wake their child during the night "for any reason" despite the fact that they have q4h vitals and assessments, meds given throughout the night, and an IV that's on the fritz.

2) Parents who allow their child to scream and throw a temper tantrum at midnight (waking up all the other kids on the floor) because the child does not want to put on oxygen, take a med, get a stat lab draw, etc.

3) Threatens their kid with shots (from me!) if he/she doesn't cooperate with cares

4) Allows their baby (or young child) to cry because they are in pain, threw up, wet the bed, etc and does not make a move from their cot to console them. However, they do manage to shout instructions from five feet away every time you go in the room!

5) Allow your child to hit, kick, bite or otherwise physically or verbally abuse me without saying a word. Just because you allow your child to call you a b**** at home doesn't mean that I should have to tolerate it.

6) Tell your child that he/she does not have to take a med, have an IV inserted, etc if the kid protests even a little. Your child is in the hospital for a reason, and if you set the expectation that your kid will cooperate, he or she is much more likely to do so

I would like to give every parent a few hints. First, I am not and will never be a punishment. If you wish to discipline your child for not cooperating, leave me out of it.

We are not a free nanny service. We do not appreciate you sitting by shouting orders at us to do routine cares for your child while you lounge on the sofa.

Your child looks to you to determine how he/she should act, so if you are going to cry or have a nervous breakdown please step in the hallway. The last thing we need is for the kid to have a meltdown too!

and finally- your child likely only met me 2 HOURS AGO. The chances of me being able to console him or her in the middle of the night are SLIM TO NONE. Therefore, I suggest that if he or she is crying during the night you show a little bit of empathy, get out of bed and give your kid a hug!

Ok, stepping down off my soapbox. Does anyone else want to share?

[PedsAtHeart, LPN]

I guess I should also add that yes I am a parent and I will watch everything a nurse or Dr. does to my children. And they better make sure they do it right haha!

[scribblerpnp]

For the most part I LOOOOOOVVVEEE the parents of special needs children. They are usually educated and INVOLVED. They know their kids and what they need, when they need it, and how. Very rarely do I find them a pain.

I wish there were more parents like them out there.

[rnsrgr8t]

I have worked in peds for 10 years and I have no problem with parents like you. These parents of children with special needs DEFINTELY know more about their child than I do. They are their child's only advocate and these children are very complex. It takes very little to get them out of balance. I agree with most of the posts here and often vent about the same things. Parents like you never bother me. I do not feel threatened at all by parents who are very involved with their child's care. If they want me to do something and I can do it and it does not interfere with their child's care, absolutely, no questions asked. I am often in awe at what parents like you have to deal with on a daily basis and what a great job you do!

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I'm just a student, but am becoming a nurse because of all the great nurses who were compassionate to how hard having a chronically ill child is on the family (my son had AML. Sadly he passed away a year and a half ago). We spent literally 8 months straight as an in-patient. Yes, they DO need to make the sleepers more comfortable. All it would take was one administrator in the know and with the power to do something about it to be made to sleep all night on one of those suckers to realize how awful they are. We parents used to joke they just wanted to get us to the ER for back problems. Made helping care for our kid very hard when we could not sleep. And yes, I did expect the nurses to be as efficient and quiet as possible during the night, to not flip the lights on but to use the bathroom light whenever possible and to combine nighttime visits to hang chemo, gets vitals and administer meds as much as humanly possible so that we could get some rest. I realize it was their work day, but for the rest of the world it is still night time, and as the family, we were still trying to care for our other children and keep our jobs outside of also trying to care for this very sick boy. Rest was VITAL. Most of the nurses were awesome in this regard and frankly loved us, because we were not leaning on the patient call light all night. We wanted them to do what they had to do and move on. Granted, I often did his vitals myself and recorded them for her on the board and I was more than happy once he was ventilated to help change his diapers etc. But it was the ones who realized I was at the end of my rope and took the time to put an arm around me, or who let me be as active in his care as possible that really inspired me. Joseph was absolutely hateful to the nurses..he took all his anger about his cancer out on them. I didn't use them to threaten him and would make him apologize, but they were kind and never seemed to take it overly personal either. He just was flat out not interested in bonding with them..in his mind, he was getting well, getting out of dodge and never coming back.

Anyway, I am rambling. Just really appreciate the nurses who see and saw it from the family's point of view. Having a child hospitalized for an extended amount of time is devastating to the family, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. There is a saying that when a person has cancer, the whole family has cancer. I am sure it is true for other special needs/chronic illness problems as well. Thank you to those who are patient, loving and who let me help. You saved my life while Joseph lost his.

[ashemson]

I recently started working in a peds office in a clinic. So far the things that really drive me crazy about peds is the parents of children who are on a medication that they get refilled monthly. They wait until the VERY day their child is out of their meds to call for a refill. What they don't realize is that I work for a doctor who takes alot of days off, so she isn't in the office all of the time, then they get mad at the nurses because we can't produce a script on demand! Also, PLEASE tell your 5 year old child who is coming in for their kindergarten physical that they are having shots before we walk into the room with them! Alot of parents whisper to us that they don't know they are getting shots, so it's up to us to break it to them...UGH!!!

And yes, I have three children of my own! haha

[AirforceRN, RN]

I have been fortunate to have been able to do a quick rotation through peds as part of training...a few things I learned...

1) I know NOTHING about children's medical issues. (Kudos to you nurses who have learned to work with what are essentially little aliens)

2) Its okay because new parents know even less.

3) Parents know their kids better than I ever will. If they say Johnny "isn't right" or its easier to get the meds down "this way", chances are they are right.

4) Parents will tell you a 20 minute story about a tiny scratch and then expect treatment in under 5 minutes.

Interesting but fun

[rbs105, ADN, MSN, RN]

gentylwind,

I loved your post. You said everything ELSE I wanted to say but didn't. I work nights in peds and I HATE going in unless I need to because I have been on that sleeper and tried to sleep!! That is the other thing people forget-when you are tired, your patience is limited, your capacity to deal/cope, etc. is all compromised. Like you said, if only we could get a pediatric administrator to have a child with special needs!!

I am sure when our nurse taught us how to put in an NG tube, she had a million other things to do, but she took the time and spent it with me. It makes such a difference. I also have been there when a condition was called on my son and I held his head while they intubated him-THEN they realized that I was mom and asked me to leave(I refused)!! We really can be a help. I'm sorry sometimes we take alot of your time, but sometimes we just need someone to listen!! You are all wonderful.

And, I am so sorry for the loss of your child-I have had a few instances of working in peds hospice and I feel so strongly for you parents. You and that child have been through more than any parent/child should ever have to be put through. I admire your strength!! Thank you for being such a great example~~

rbs105

[verklempt]

I work in a peds clinic. I could go on for days...

1. I'm tired of all the granola parents coming in refusing shots for their child because they think vaccinations cause autism. They apparently believe everything they read on the internet.

2. The parents who call us up constantly are awful. We have a lady whose child is less than a year old with seven pages of phone calls.

3. I also hate it when people call me the "mean nurse" when I walk in the room to give vaccines. Yeah, call me that when your kid doesn't get diphtheria, tetorifice, pertussis, haemophilus influenza, varicella, hepatitis A or B, measles, mumps, rubella, pneumococcal disease, meningitis, or polio. Phew! That was a lot.

4. I hate when I get in trouble for not reading minds. When the parent tells me the kid has an ear ache and then complains to the doctor about a stomach problem, why do I end up in trouble when the kid isn't undressed when the doctor goes in the room? Also, contrary to popular belief, I have no idea if the kid plays sports or not when they come in for a yearly checkup. It's up to the parent to inform me so I can fill out the appropriate form/they can give me the appropriate form.

5. Why do parents not bother coming to the follow up appointments and then wonder why their kid's ear infection/whatever keeps coming back? It makes no sense.

6. "My child has a cough and a runny nose" *pacifier falls to the floor, parent cleans it by putting it in his/her mouth* "and I don't know why...oh, also I have a cold." COME. ON.

7. Just alarmist parents in general.

8. I could go on...