AND IT WILL PROBABLY END UP TOO LONG. SORRY. VENT.
I do hate to use the term "nurses who eat their young", but I am DEFINITELY dealing with one of those nurses. Actually, she eats everybody!! I work on a very busy med/surg, cardiac floor. There is one particular older nurse that absolutely talks about everyone, this includes all our other nurses, techs, secretaries, housekeeping, our boss, other floors' bosses and nurses...the list goes on and on. She thinks she is perfect, and if someone does not do something how she thinks it should be done, you will definitely be talked about behind your back. She has talked to me about others (I just sit there and listen, kind of look at her in a glare). I feel like I am in high school...actually worse than high school. The thing is people pretty much know about how she is, and it just still happens, just tolerated. The weird thing is she says nice things to my face, like she has told me before, "I love following you b/c I know everything will be done and thorough. You are a great nurse". Well, I had a situation about 3 weeks ago with a patient, and she thought I should have handled it differently. I overheard her talking to another nurse about me behind my back. Well, I decided to get a backbone, be assertive (not aggressive or rude), and I told her she needed to say it to my face. I did not like the backstabbing crap. She then had the nerve to say, "Well, I am talking to you now". I said to her, "Yeah, after I confronted you about it and overheard you". I did end up crying when leaving work, but I would not let her know that! Thought the situation was over. So wrong. She has told some of the other nurses on the floor how I handled it, and I should have handled it this way. Luckily, they let me know she was doing this. Most ignored it knowing how she is, but it got back to me, of course. I was fuming mad. I confronted her again, and I told her that it had come to my attention that she was discussing/gossiping to other nurses (and probably anybody that would listen) about something from 3 weeks ago, and she had no business discussing it with anyone, but me. She was turning nothing into something! It literally was nothing at all...just a different way of handling a situation....and I am a big document, document, document person, so I had the whole thing documented. I KNOW I am a good nurse, and I did the best I could, just like every day that I work. I have never heard of any complaints against me, and we all know that is tough with patients and families, understaffing, etc... I know I am definitely not perfect though!! Anyway, I let my boss know about everything, and she did bring up in a meeting that all the gossiping had to stop...it had got out of hand. It really has on this floor. I just want to go to work, do my job, go home happy (very tired, but happy). This nurse picks on others as well, and she keeps complaining about one particular tech over and over again. I walked into work one morning after not being there for a couple days, and she started gossiping/complaining to me before the day even got started on how her day yesterday was horrible, and this tech did this and that, and she was going to write it up to this person and go higher up. There is no telling how many people she writes up or tattle-tales on for absolutely nothing. She even got caught telling a lie on two of the techs. I could go on and on with her horrible, manipulative, evil actions. I can get along with anyone, but I have never encountered anybody like this. A couple months ago, she even had the nerve to tell a group of us about another nurse not starting a much needed intervention for a PE patient ASAP, pt was transferred to ICU, and pt died. It is not her place to tell that to everyone!! SO...to give you some background on this nurse. When I first started working on this floor, she seemed so nice. She has admitted to me she had to get some help last year or year before, but I thought nothing much of it....preferred not to dig. But, one day people were talking like they do, and it is known on the floor that she had been reported for coming to work impaired. She was fired, got help, and rehired. I am wondering...and others too keep saying that she is trying to compensate for her actions by trying to appear perfect now, and she has a reputation or history now, so she tries to get others in trouble at any means. She feels good by bringing others down to bring herself up. She lies, manipulates, exaggerates, etc... I am told not to worry, people know how she is, even our boss. She literally talks about everyone. Wish they had warned me a year ago when I started there. haha! It seems like something all the time. I dread working with her. She really scares me! How do you handle this type of personality? I am definitely living and learning!
SORRY SOOOO LONG! Thanks for taking time to read my post and respond!
Specializes in ICU, Telemetry, Neuro, Ortho, Med/Surg.
it doesn't sound at all like anyone is "eating their young." it sounds as if one nurse is a miserable tattletale. that's not eating your young. that's just one nurse being a miserable tattletale.
good point....or as i jokingly said, she eats everybody!
TRY THIS! When she starts talking behind someone's back, ask "what did he/she say when you talked to them about it?"
Get other staff to start doing the same thing. Pretty soon you'll all learn you CAN change other people's behavior. But remember we're nurses. When you take away her gossiping, support her as she learns a new behaviour. We need to take care of our own.
Wow, not just nurses but these kinda people in general just make me wonder what are they going through in their personal life to make them so miserable. I dont feel anger towards these people only pity. Most of their hate only stems from animosity or jealousy
I have those where I work, I don't bother confronting them because they can talk all they like. But I do my job, so just stick your hands on your ears and lah lah lah it! If all else fails confront, and if it goes no where, the DON is your friend.
I worked with a nurse just like that and no one ever did anything. We went thru at least 6 techs when they worked with her she verbally abused them so bad they would quit. If anyone even looked like they were going to say anything to her She would throw out the " I will sue thru the disability laws" She weighed close to 500+ lbs. Administration hated her.
I always felt so sorry for her she had to be the lonliest saddest person I ever met. She died a few months back. Her family didn't even put an obit in the paper or have a funeral. How sad is that?
KarmaComesAround
72 Posts
good point....or as i jokingly said, she eats everybody!