One Nurse's Vision: No One Dies Alone

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Hospital program means no one dies alone

A nurse, who has earned national attention, calls on 200 volunteers to comfort those at the end of life

10/29/03

INARA VERZEMNIEKS

EUGENE -- And so it has come to this: alone in a hospital bed, no family or friends to hear the last ragged breaths, the sounds of a lifetime ending.

The nurse with the purple highlights running through her hair and a penchant for quoting Mother Teresa -- though she points to the purple as proof she is more Madonna than Teresa -- picks up the phone and punches in numbers.

More than 200 people are on her list: a roster of hospital staff -- housekeepers, engineers, food service workers, administrators -- who have volunteered day and night to come and sit with the dying who have no one else.

It has been nearly two years since Sandra Clarke, a nurse at Sacred Heart Medical Center, launched the program she calls No One Dies Alone, but already her grass-roots effort has earned national attention, and hospitals around the country are asking how they can replicate her idea.

As baby boomers age, as families shrink and settle far apart and as more people choose to live by themselves, the number of those who have no one to be with them at the end of their lives likely will grow.

Even now, Clarke picks up the phone two or three times a month to arrange for a volunteer to sit with someone who might otherwise die alone.

According to the American Geriatrics Society, the size of the older population will double in the next 30 years. By 2030, one in five people will be 65 or older. At the same time, people are living longer and having fewer children, narrowing the circle of family and friends they can depend on as they age.

More people also are living alone. About one in four households consists of a single person, the U.S. Census Bureau says. Among those 65 and older, it's one in three.

"This is only going to get worse," says Dr. Charles Cefalu, chief of geriatric medicine at Louisiana State University medical school in New Orleans. "It's going to become a significant problem."

Answering a call In a hospital, demographic shifts -- the signs of families fragmented and far flung -- play out in the simplest human terms: An elderly man, slipping away, called weakly to the nurse: Please sit with me.

But Clarke was busy, just starting her rounds, with six or seven others who needed her first. It was 1986.

"I'll be right back," she remembers telling him. She'd meant it, too; she hurried to his room as soon as she could. But he already had died.

"That plagued me," says Clarke, 61 and a nursing supervisor.

As she walked the hospital hallways, staff streaming by, she wondered: With all these people working here, wouldn't there be someone who had time to sit with the dying who otherwise would have no one?

For several years, Clarke played with her idea, but it remained just that, an idea -- until one day three years ago, she mentioned it to another nurse. The director of pastoral care overheard Clarke and urged her to write a proposal.

By November 2001, No One Dies Alone was running. And since then, Clarke, an energetic woman who laughs easily and often, the daughter of a professional wrestler turned Hollywood stunt man, has devoted hours to seeing her vision take form.

Today, this is what it looks like: Most of the patients the program serves are elderly. Many have outlived friends and relatives. A few have been abandoned by family. Some have alienated themselves.

Clarke tells the story of one man who died with a hospital engineer at his bedside. When the nursing staff called the family to tell them that they might want to come soon, they said: Good riddance. We hate him.

"Who's to say they weren't right?" Clarke asks. "But I feel at that point, it's not our time to judge."

Others among the dying are far from home -- recent transplants to Eugene, or strangers traveling Interstate 5 when tragedy strikes, and family can't get to the hospital soon enough.

Training with a heart When the nursing staff learns of someone who has less than 72 hours to live, a "do not rescusitate" order and no one else around, they page Clarke, who gets out her list of volunteers and starts to call.

Anyone who volunteers with No One Dies Alone must be employed at the hospital or have at least six months' experience volunteering there. Everyone attends an hourlong orientation, which covers topics such as how to determine whether someone is in pain and how to tell when someone has died. Volunteers get few instructions, though they are told not to talk about religion unless the patient asks.

Clarke urges volunteers to treat the dying person as they would family or friends.

"It has to come from the heart," she says.

For Penny Jones, who works in hospital admitting, that has meant stroking patients' arms, moistening their lips, covering them when they shiver.

For Jim McFerran, a leadership and employee development specialist, it has meant leaning forward and whispering to an elderly woman, as she drew her last breaths, that she was loved, that she would be missed.

For Jim Graham, 67, retired after years of building homes, it has meant playing soft music and offering stories about his own life. " I tell them I wish we could have talked under different circumstances," he says, "but we all come to this place. "

A personal decision Volunteers sign up through a hospital Web page to spend as little or as much time as they like at a patient's side. Some offer to sit until Clarke can summon someone else. Others volunteer to sit all night.

At every orientation, Clarke -- who recently completed a how-to guide for hospitals that want to start their own programs, and has sent 20 copies -- asks each volunteer why they want to do this.

Some say they had a parent or a grandparent or a sibling who died alone and they want, in their small way, to make up for that. Quite a few say they themselves are afraid of dying alone.

"It's not something for everybody, in the sense that being with somebody who is dying causes you to have to think about what that means to you personally," says Barry West, who works in information technology at the hospital and helps Clarke run the program.

"It's the sort of thing that raises unresolved issues, feelings and questions in the person who volunteers."

In many ways, it is as much a program for the living.

Before going to sit with a patient, a volunteer picks up a duffel bag from a battered metal filing cabinet near the hospital's main entrance. Inside is a compact disc player, a few discs, including harp music and Mozart symphonies, a Bible, a journal in which volunteers can write their thoughts, and a stack of notecards.

The notecards were a volunteer's idea -- a way to relay what happens in the person's final hours.

When a patient dies, a card accompanies the body, so that if anyone should claim it, they might take comfort in knowing that someone was there to mark the end.

Inara Verzemnieks: 503-221-8201; [email protected]

Copyright 2003 Oregon Live. All Rights Reserved.

Specializes in ICU, psych, corrections.

Question: How does one go about getting that implemented in a facility near them? We are doing our clinicals right now at a LTC and I'm shocked at the amount of clients there who have no one. One lady who has taken a liking to me is severly depressed...after looking at her chart, I know why. She never married, has no kids, and virtually no family around her. She lives in this LTC, day after day, reading endless books with nobody really to talk to . I can't imagine when the time comes for her to pass away, who will be there for there. And there has already been on client who expired one week after we started clinicals. I'm so grateful that I was there for both of my grandmothers in their final days/hours and would love to start a program like this at the hospitals in my area. Please respond here or via email to let me now if you have any idea how I could get this implemented! [email protected]

Thanks in advance! :)

W'oah .. wow. Heh.

Specializes in ICU, psych, corrections.

Just a quick apology for all the typos in the previous post...ugh...I guess I should really go to bed!! I know this is not English class, but I have always been a stickler for proper grammar. Judging from my above post, it's quite obvious I'm up WAY past my bedtime...ROFL...off to bed...............:zzzzz

Originally posted by canoehead

I guess I'm in the minority here but I would prefer to die in private. No strangers watching every last gasp and fart- yuck. I agree that having someone die in restaints sounds barbaric. If they were that restless they deserve medication to calm them and make the transition easier.

But no company for me when I croak- shut the door and turn down the lights and I'll be happy.

Really? You wouldn't even want a close family member there?

I like to be left alone when I'm sick, but I don't want to die alone.

Specializes in ER.

No I don't think I would want anyone, but of course I haven't been in the situation yet. If I've been given sufficient meds that I'm not panicked and I'm comfortable I don't want anyone fussing and crying over me. Actually I would actively discourage them so it would be a private experience.

there are definitely people that choose to die alone..i work in an inpatient hospice environment and it never ceases to amaze me of those who literally choose to pass after their families have left. but it's those people that have many unresolved issues that are the ones that often do not want to be alone. those are very challenging patients to help; sometimes emotional pain/anguish is more difficult to treat than the pathological process involved.

I would absolutely love to volunteer in this capacity. It is not a problem in the facility were I currently work. I have worked there a little over 2 yrs and in that time 6 residents have passed and not one was alone as a matter of fact at times there have been too many on the death watch. The nights that Ihave been the nurse called into do one on one I like to turn down the lights turn on some soft music medicate approp for pain and sit and hold the residents hands. I also like to postion for comfort frequently and I am big on back rubs. I think I would make a good hospice nurse. But would probably burn out quick. This purple haired lady had an awsome plan and I admire her for implementing it.

This is an awesome plan.

This weekend I experienced my first patient who was dying. I have had a number of elderly patients and patients who were severly ill, but they all had good prognosis and were d/c from the hospital.

This weekend, though, I had an 80 year old man just diagnosed with Liver ca. and his health was declining rapidly. He was so weak he would not lift a spoon to his mouth or even make the slightest body adjustment in his bed. He needed absolutely everything done for him and luckily as a student nurse, he was my only patient, I could take the time to feed him his lunch, bathe him, talk to him, comfort him when he got chills. His assigned nurse had 6 other patients to take care of, if I had not been there, there is no way he could have been comforted. Not the fault of the nurse, just that she had so many other people to take care of.

Before I went into nursing school, I guess I took for granted that I would be able to comfort and sit with a dying patient.

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