if only for one day......

Published

......you were given the opportunity as a nurse..for only one day....to say whatever you wanted to a patient or a doctor....or anyone for that matter,during the course of your shift, with no penalty whatsoever? I think, personally, that would be the most fabulous nurses day gift.

Specializes in Behavioral Health.

To a few select patients..."Pregnancy IS NOT an illness!!!!!!!"

To a few select anesthesiologists..."I brought the epidural cart in the room and now YOU CAN manage to pull the tape and Mastisol out of drawer 3 yourself. You are a BIG boy now."

To a few select OB's..."When I have 2 labor patients I unfortunately can not be in two places at once...so put your own flippin' gel on your finger for an SVE.

"Breaking a bag at 2 cms with a ballotable head usually does end up in a cord prolapse doc, so don't act surprised when it actually happens!

"And I don't really care if it's the middle of the night...you are the one that CHOSE your profession".

AAAHHHHHH. I feel better already! :rotfl:

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Specializes in LTC, Home Health, L&D, Nsy, PP.

I think I would have to tell the 23 year old mother of six that (1) you should have learned that this would hurt AT LEAST a little the first six times around and (2) I am sorry this pregnancy is getting "old" to you, but, no, we will not induce you at 32 weeks!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :nono:

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Oops - I didn't see that this was in the OB-GYN forum. :p

Ok - related to the actual subject then . . . . . . I'd like to tell the teenagers, who can't manage to keep the tv off and only watch cartoons during labor and who have NO communication skills . . "maybe you should consider abstinence".

steph

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Specializes in LTC, Home Health, L&D, Nsy, PP.
Oops - I didn't see that this was in the OB-GYN forum. :p

Ok - related to the actual subject then . . . . . . I'd like to tell the teenagers, who can't manage to keep the tv off and only watch cartoons during labor and who have NO communication skills . . "maybe you should consider abstinence".

steph

OMG! How I can relate Steph! lol

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I like the "put your own gel on your fingers" thing. I think that quite often. No one helps me when I go to do a SVE! Grow up :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Home care, assisted living.

My boss, I'm sure, has a few choice words in the back of her mind for a certain resident whose nickname should be "Hell on Wheels". She acts like a VIP--if she's the first or last one to the dining room, she wants to be served first. She likes things to be done for her a certain way, and pitches a fit if they're not. When my boss took her medicine away (because now we're giving it to her and she can't self-medicate anymore) she absolutely HAD A COW.

Someone actually HAS told off this resident, but it wasn't a staff member--it was another resident at her dinner table! Miss "Hell on Wheels" started whining about everything at dinnertime and acting fussy, so one the staff prompted a nearby resident to say something to her--and she let this woman have it!! :rotfl:

She told her that no one likes her and we all wish she would hurry up and leave, because she doesn't appreciate the staff for doing a good job, she always complains about her aches and pains and how everything is terrible, blah, blah, blah. Fortunately our "VIP" resident is nearly deaf and couldn't hear her speech--but the rest of the dining room did!! They loved it!!

Miss "Hell on Wheels" is leaving our facility for good at the end of this month. One of the staff members told me that the day that woman leaves, she's going out to get herself DRUNK. :bugeyes: :biere:

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My patients are animals (I'm A CVT) so I ask them not to bite me. Most are quite obligding and don't bite me. The clients are their owners and there are some that I would like to ask, "Do you really have stupid written on your forehead?". This is especially for those people who insist that their dogs are safe riding loose in the open bed of a pick up.

Fuzzy

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Specializes in geri, med/surg, neuro critical care.
Oops - I didn't see that this was in the OB-GYN forum. :p

Ok - related to the actual subject then . . . . . . I'd like to tell the teenagers, who can't manage to keep the tv off and only watch cartoons during labor and who have NO communication skills . . "maybe you should consider abstinence".

steph

It's amazing, isn't it? No common sense, but they sure know how to put the key in the ignition :chuckle

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To all the mothers who find a lady partsl exam the most tortuous thing in the world and then proceed to cry and try to crawl off of the bed.... "how did you get pregnant anyway?"

To a certain doctor.... "If you cut an epis on this g6p5 who is crowned up to the ears I'm gonna bang you over the head with the epis scissors"

To a certain other doctor... "If all babies were meant to come by c/s... all woman would be born with a zipper on the ABD in addition to a lady parts!"

To all the other doctors.... "this is OB...get over the control issues."

To day shift.... "I sorry that the board is full and you have only 6 nurses to deal with it while we have had to deal with it all night with just 2."

mmmm.... I'm starting to get on a roll... better stop for now before I ruin my weekend :p :rolleyes:

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To a few select patients..."Pregnancy IS NOT an illness!!!!!!!"

To a few select anesthesiologists..."I brought the epidural cart in the room and now YOU CAN manage to pull the tape and Mastisol out of drawer 3 yourself. You are a BIG boy now."

To a few select OB's..."When I have 2 labor patients I unfortunately can not be in two places at once...so put your own flippin' gel on your finger for an SVE.

"Breaking a bag at 2 cms with a ballotable head usually does end up in a cord prolapse doc, so don't act surprised when it actually happens!

"And I don't really care if it's the middle of the night...you are the one that CHOSE your profession".

AAAHHHHHH. I feel better already! :rotfl:

Ditto. couldn't have said it better myself!

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Specializes in Critical Care.

NO NO NO. TSK TSK TSK:

9th Law of ICU: When dealing with patients and supervisors, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.

There you go.

~faith,

Timothy.

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Perhaps if he is capable of getting out of bed, he is capable of changing his bed. In the past, we have put a stack of linens on the stand and said, "If you soil the bed, your new linens are here for when you would like to change them--let us know if you need more." This is only used IF the patient is capable of controlling that particular body function.--Gail

Hmmm Steph..I don't see the problem with asking a pt to stop soiling the bed. if he's perfectly capable of doing so.

What's he going to do? Tell on you for asking him to stop?

Z

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