I have had some interesting experiences as an atheist nurse, if not downright puzzling. What follows is but a few of the many interactions that I have encountered.
When pressed for an answer to the question "What church do you belong to?" and I divulge my lack of religious belief, I am always utterly amazed that the next question is invariably "You worship the Devil?" Ummm, no. No I don't. It is my understanding that to believe in one (God) is to believe that the other exists as well (Satan) and since I don't believe in God it wouldn't make sense to believe in the Devil alone.
"Aren't you afraid for your soul?" Again, no. See above.
"How can you have morals if you don't believe in God?" Ethics. I believe in doing what is right simply because it's the right thing to do and not because I fear for my soul or that "someone" is watching and judging my every thought and action. I get an uncomfortable feeling in my gut if I don't address something that should be addressed or if I'm thinking of doing something that I shouldn't do. On the flip side, I get a nice, cozy "atta girl" feeling when I've done the right thing. In other words, my conscience guides me.
"You can't be a good nurse unless you believe in God." Yes I can. See above.
"You just haven't been to the "right" church." Wrong. I've read quite extensively on many different sects of Christianity as well as other religions and have attended many different denominational services and remain unwavering in my position on the subject of religion.
"I'll pray for you." If it'll make you feel better, be my guest.
What gets me riled and provokes "Rabid Atheist Mode" is when I'm told that I "must" be an amoral, Devil-worshipping nurse and sorry excuse for a human being because I don't believe in God. That's when the gloves come off. Personal attacks are unwelcome and will be dealt with accordingly.
This is just a small sample of some of the most common questions/statements that I've heard over the years. There have been many, many more I can assure you.
Let it also be known that I truly don't care what or who anyone worships, to each his own. If you choose to worship a badger that's fine by me, whatever gets you through the day. I ask that you please refrain from trying to get me to worship with you and I'll refrain from trying to get you to abandon your beliefs. I respect your beliefs, you respect mine. I think we can agree on that.
I'm not a bigot, but you are not wrong. I'm not free from intolerance. That experience makes me a lot more cautious of people I'm around, especially religious people. At work, some of my colleagues are Christians. I know about their religion, and I keep my distance. I'm not hostile to them, but I only exchange a few words. After verifying that they accept me for who I am, I drop my tough act and become their friend. I know it's not really a fun way to make friend, but I have to do that to protect myself from being emotionally hurt. I'm vulnerable when I am a friend because I will do anything for people I care about. I don't want to devote myself to people who don't deserve it.
So, it's everyone else's fault because you are just an open hearted, vulnerable guy and they (they being this one Christian friend) disappoint you?
Could be YOU.
Feel people out before you become friends. It's the individual, not groups or religious affiliations (race, gender, etc.) I
f he/she crosses you or hurts you and it can't be resolved then chalk it up to you 2 didn't get along, not a whole group of people that may be bad.
So, it's everyone else's fault because you are just an open hearted, vulnerable guy and they (they being this one Christian friend) disappoint you?
Could be YOU.
Feel people out before you become friends. It's the individual, not groups or religious affiliations (race, gender, etc.) I
f he/she crosses you or hurts you and it can't be resolved then chalk it up to you 2 didn't get along, not a whole group of people that may be bad.
Because isn't that what she did to you?
That is my short coming. I don't know how to overcome it. Even my parents say that I tend to trust people too much. I am very rational when I deal with strangers. When I deal with people I care about, my rationale is out of window. When I trust someone, I leave no barrier to protect myself. That is perhaps not a good thing living in an individual centered culture like America. But I am yet successful to change myself.
Perhaps I talk about myself too much, but you get the picture. Whenever I remember that experience, I still feel like it just happened yesterday. Therefore I can't embrace other Christians until I am relatively sure that I can put my trust on them. My secular friends and Christian friends disagree with each other about spirituality, but they all agree on one word: acceptance. They don't believe in tolerance. They never have to put up with each other or with me.
I'm not a nurse yet (working on it), but I am a CNA. I work for for a religious institution. A few people know that I am Atheist, a few people I am comfortable with knowing and are not judgmental. Actually, I've since learned there are a few other Atheists and other less common religions (such as Pagans) since working there. I try to stay out of anything religious if I can excuse myself. I bow my head during prayer, but do not pray, for instance (since every meeting opens with a prayer). I doubt our in house priest knows I am Atheist, he only knows I am not Catholic (he was once looking for someone to become a Godmother or Godfather for a dying patient).
Thankfully religious inquiries have not come up during patient care. I have called our priest when he is requested. I am there to clean someone up, turn and reposition, make them comfortable, clean, and dry, get refreshments (if the diet order says I can), take folks to the bathroom, etc. I am not there for in depth theological discussions. I think if someone asked I pray for them, I'd submit a prayer request with the hospital, since I don't believe in prayer, but other people do and will do the praying. I understand that prayer can be a bit like a placebo effect, and can do good for a patient who believes it truly helps.
It doesn't hurt that I am a chill Atheist. I believe what I believe. If you believe in XYX religion, cool, it isn't my job to change your opinion. And I wouldn't be able to change your belief system anyway. Science has shown that attempting to sway someone from something they hold dear only results in them believing more strongly in it (sometimes called the Backfire Effect).
The only time I told someone I was an Atheist because of a religious statement was not at work. I was at a store I shop at regularly. I was chatting with the cashier, we were having a great conversation. I got bagged up, and I went on my merry way. When I got home, I realized I had no receipt. An investigation of my credit card online showed no charge. So I loaded the bags back in the car and went back to the store and explained my situation, and then paid for everything as intended. A man nearby said to me "you must be a wonderful Christian to bring everything back". I told him I was an Atheist and that being a good person had nothing to do with religion. His look of surprise was priceless, so it was worth it.
How many "rabid atheists" have you run into? How many have knocked on your door to share their beliefs with you? How many have told you "I won't pray for you" when you were having a bad time? How many tax-free places for atheists to gather did you drive by on the way to work today?
I trained in a Catholic hospital school of nursing in the dark ages (run by nuns!) and we were constantly praying...before class, before clinical....including with patients at the hospital. That was a different time. I wasn't comfortable with it then, and I can't imagine doing that now.
I don't care for any evangelical trying to force their beliefs on me...including evangelical atheists. My religion/spiritual path isn't to share at work. Its personal.
I remember working in the NICU and there was a baby who's parents were Wiccan. I remember an evangelical Christian nurse baptized the baby when the family left. I was horrified.
I was equally horrified when working in the school setting and eating my lunch in the teacher's longue when a teacher engaged me about how she was an atheist and here is why I should be to. I didn't start the conversation, I simply said something about how strict my nursing school was. I managed to stop the conversation by describing how I had a really sick kid that I was going to send home and how I had to deep suction his trach and included a description of the noise it makes when the kiddo is really sick and the secretions are thick and smelly.....she now avoids me when I work at that school.
Ok let me first say that I did not read everything that others have said. I agree with everything that you have said and highly respect it. It may surprise you to know that I AM a Christian, however I do not believe in church. I think the biggest problem with Christians and many other main stream religions is the idea of worshiping in a church or other building with a person leading you and others in service. You may or may not know this but Jesus (I know you don't believe but if you did) taught people wherever he found them and mocked the current church leaders of his day. I have been a Christian for some time now but wasn't always. I have many friends who are atheist, gay, homeless, drug addicts, and ex-felons. What makes me so angry is when other church going people (I refuse to call them Christians) can't understand why I hang out with them. Christ (If you believe in Him) hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors i.e sinners. I do not force my beliefs on anyone and I choose to lead by example if I am asked then I will tell you about it otherwise I leave it alone.
My point is I apologize on behalf of them and hope these people can one day figure out what they are doing wrong. Being atheist does not make you a devil worshiper. What most Christains believe is that if you don't choose a side you are therefore choosing against God. That is your choice and if you don't believe in either than it really doesn't matter to you.
Actually on a side note I had a patient on a vent once whom I was told was an atheist, when his family came to the ICU they wanted to have this big group prayer over him which I could tell that not only did he not want it but that It was severely upsetting him. I immediately kicked them out of his room and told them they could pray in the waiting room but I could not allow them to do it in front of him since it was clearly not what he wanted and as long as I was his nurse it would not happen. They complained to management but as far as I know they didn't get their way. Although he was transferred out 2 days later. My point is that even Christians like myself try to protect others wishes, this is part of the nursing profession.
Ok let me first say that I did not read everything that others have said. I agree with everything that you have said and highly respect it. It may surprise you to know that I AM a Christian, however I do not believe in church. I think the biggest problem with Christians and many other main stream religions is the idea of worshiping in a church or other building with a person leading you and others in service. You may or may not know this but Jesus (I know you don't believe but if you did) taught people wherever he found them and mocked the current church leaders of his day. I have been a Christian for some time now but wasn't always. I have many friends who are atheist, gay, homeless, drug addicts, and ex-felons. What makes me so angry is when other church going people (I refuse to call them Christians) can't understand why I hang out with them. Christ (If you believe in Him) hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors i.e sinners. I do not force my beliefs on anyone and I choose to lead by example if I am asked then I will tell you about it otherwise I leave it alone.
My point is I apologize on behalf of them and hope these people can one day figure out what they are doing wrong. Being atheist does not make you a devil worshiper. What most Christains believe is that if you don't choose a side you are therefore choosing against God. That is your choice and if you don't believe in either than it really doesn't matter to you.
You should not apologize. You don't speak for every Christian, and they don't speak for you.
Christians should be free to follow their doctrines. However, when they throw it to my face, they should expect some push back. I'm generally a nice person, but I won't sit still listening to Christians' lectures about how I will end up in hell. They can speak whatever they want publicly. When they come to me and give me a lecture without me asking, I will be as offensive as I can. If a Christian can say "when you renounce you sin and follow the teaching of the Bible, you will obtain eternal life", I should be able to say "My life is just fine. I don't need to follow a fairy tale barbaric god."
You should not apologize. You don't speak for every Christian, and they don't speak for you.
True, they just aggravate me with the way they treat people and I feel a need to apologize for their behavior. Its like how a nurse will apologize for another nurse when they treat a patient poorly I feel the need to apologize on behalf of the profession/hospital.
Farawyn
12,646 Posts
So, it's everyone else's fault because you are just an open hearted, vulnerable guy and they (they being this one Christian friend) disappoint you?
Could be YOU.
Feel people out before you become friends. It's the individual, not groups or religious affiliations (race, gender, etc.) I
f he/she crosses you or hurts you and it can't be resolved then chalk it up to you 2 didn't get along, not a whole group of people that may be bad.
Because isn't that what she did to you?