Older nurses jealous of new young nurses?

baldee · Feb 8, 2008

I've been a nurse for 13 years and have precepted a number of brand new nurses. I learn new things from them all the time. Each of us brings our own experience and knowledge to whatever we do. As far as I'm concerned nursing and lifelong learning go hand in hand. When I stop learning form those around me, I will know it's time to quit. But then on the other hand, there is much to be said for how a new idea is presented. I too might be unreceptive if the person correcting me about something is in my face about it. Knowing that about myself, I find myself rehearsing how to say things to others so that they're not on the defensive before I've even begun.

Good answer!

Lady_Bing · Feb 8, 2008

I am a new nurse and I actually had sassy attitude coming from colleagues who have been a nurse for 5-6 years and who are relatively young ladies in their late 20s, early 30s. We do have several nurses who have been on the unit for 15-20 years and they are just wonderful. They don't partake in any gossip or drama. I am serious, whenever the conversation turns to a specific person or specific personal situation; they just get up and leave the nursing station. I have witnessed that on many occasions. They are also very helpful and kind to newbies and to everyone on the team. Other nurses seek them out for help and you could tell that everyone respects them. You should see these nurses handling a crisis situation - there's no panic, they never raise their voice, they get everyone organized and you become calmer and more focused in their presence. I consider them to be the pillars of our profession. I think it's safe of me to assume that there's nothing about new grads that could intimidate these nurses.

Now here's my two cents about being a brand new nurse and a relatively young nurse (I am 25 y.o).

#1 In nursing you come across different personalities and it is important to get along professionally with everyone - with your patients, their families, doctors, nurses, nursing assistants, nursing managers, environmental support. It comes down to respect. If you show respect to the other person, they are more likely to respect you back. However being respectful doesn't mean that you have to compromise your professional integrity and do whatever the other person says you have to do, there's a little technique called assertiveness JJJ it really works J

#2 When it comes to sassy attitude from co-workers - I try to focus on the message that is being delivered, rather at how it was delivered. Bottom line - if you are a new nurse there's so much to learn and you have to embrace the criticism and learn from it, without making it into a personal statement against you or the kind of nurse/person you are. Some nurses are more diplomatic when delivering criticism, some are not so much. Regardless of how diplomatic they are, they are still sharing their knowledge and their experience with you and I am grateful for that. I would rather have a more experienced nurse point out that I am doing something wrong, albeit in a snappy attitude, than have her say nothing at all because she is worried about hurting my feelings. In the end, I have to ask myself, what benefits my patients?

tnmtnman · Feb 9, 2008

i have been a nurse since 1991 in the many years i have learned so much and have for gotten just as much but also the new nuse coming in has also taught me alot as well so many new things every day im thankful that i am still nursing and i learn every day and the new and old have the same thing in mind the best pt care that we can give

Young28 · Feb 10, 2008

I agree with rn/writer, older nurses may be a little irritated about failing stamina, I would love to have the experience they have.

A lot of older nurses have made some great changes in the way nurses are treated, sometimes they are the ones who can go to a nurse manager and talk to her in a way that will get her to listen in ways the manager may not listen to a younger nurse with no experience.

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2008

I am not jealous of new nurses. I welcome ones that bring a good work ethic, energy, knowledge, a willingness to learn, and enthusiasm to the job.

As another poster said, I feel bad for them at times, becaise I know what they are in for. Nursing is a very, very, difficult career.

I am envious of their young, never-injured backs, that's for sure!

On the other hand, when I work with new grads who think they know it all, shun hard work, and have a snobby attitude, I want to tell them to take their attitude with them and go back to Burger King or wherever they came from, because some of us have work to do.

justme1972 · Feb 10, 2008

I don't think that being new means you don't know anything any more than working for 20 years makes you an expert.

I'll be a new nurse next year...by why should I think that older nurses would be intimated by me?

Everyone starts out the same...you have to earn your respect, earn your knowledge, earn you ability to have other's trust your judgement, you don't just get it by walking into a hospital, waiving around your RN license and screaming, "Hey, I'm part of the club and I'm here to take over."

When I graduate...I think I'll be going in with the right attitude....

I am going to EXPECT to be treated poorly, EXPECT that I will have a ton to learn (and with my aspirations to work NICU...that would include everything), and I personally wouldn't dare challenge an experienced nurse on an issue unless I was 300% she was wrong and was getting ready to kill a patient.

Not a great way to make friends....that you need to work with you as a team.

NurseRatched67 · Feb 10, 2008

We need to have a more open, constructive dialogue on how this problem can be solved as a whole.

RN's that say new grads are cocky? That's a double standard really. We want new grads to come in confident and rarr'in to go if you know what I mean.

Most of the time what appears to be "cockiness" is just a defense mechanism that new grads have to help them keep their confidence level up.

Established RN's have to step back and look at their experience as a new nurse. I'm sure we have all felt horrible at times, either as the bully or the picked on kid.

What's the real problem here? Do we have two groups of RN's that won't admit that they are intimidated by each other? LOL.

New grads...what you learn in school is only 1/100th of what you will learn as a nurse on the job. I know that the excitiment and pride of becoming an RN makes you feel like you are going to burst sometimes. You must learn to find a balance between the book world of a student and the chaotic world of a practicing RN.

I think we need solutions. Ideas from both sides on how we can make this better. What do we all want? Not just a "be nicer" attitude. We all know there are misconceptions behind all of our attitudes on this subject.

What are the real day to day, operational problems for why this is occuring?

One suggestion I had for my manager was that all orientees meet with their preceptors and managers for lunch before they even hit the floor. I think watching the interaction of both parties prior to training will provide valuable information on if this is a good fit for both.

Should'nt the goal be that BOTH parties have a good experience? That will only help retention of staff and the ability to put this horrible "eat their young" phrase in it's grave once and for all.

I would love to hear ideas from both sides on some ways we can make this better...without blame or name calling.:redbeathe

I say that we get an idea thread together. I would love to see the information complied be sent to somewhere like nursing spectrum or to the ANA for publishing.

Maybe, just maybe...if we work together...we can start making a change...

vashtee, RN · Feb 10, 2008

An "old" RN being intimidated by a new one? What a silly idea! Speaking as a soon-to-be-graduate, I find it to be quite the opposite.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Feb 10, 2008

When I graduate...I think I'll be going in with the right attitude....
I am going to EXPECT to be treated poorly, EXPECT that I will have a ton to learn (and with my aspirations to work NICU...that would include everything), and I personally wouldn't dare challenge an experienced nurse on an issue unless I was 300% she was wrong and was getting ready to kill a patient.
Not a great way to make friends....that you need to work with you as a team.

I think you have some good ideas, here, but I hope I can persuade you not to expect or accept being treated poorly. To some extent, I agree that respect has to be earned, but I also believe there are degrees of respect that are earned in different ways. Every living thing deserves some element of respect--heck, I have some respect for inanimate objects! The further accomplishments of being a vertebrate and a human being entitle you to a certain measure more of respect, and if you have enough on the ball to graduate from nursing school and pass NCLEX, you are due the respect that goes with being a professional nurse. You're a newbie, but a newbie at something a lot of people could never do. Of course, you still have to prove yourself to be accepted as a peer among experienced nurses, but I worked hard enough for my license to believe that your license justifies the presumption that you are capable of anything I am, once you've had a little practice.

I also agree that it's a good idea to show respect for experienced nurses and think twice before butting heads. Their license is as good as yours, plus they've been doing this awhile without burning out or falling apart. On the other hand, the best nurses I know are still humans, and it's appropriate to relate to them on that level. Don't be so impressed with the accomplishments of others that your forget to respect the world's foremost expert in being you.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Feb 10, 2008

i completely understand that people can sometimes internalize things but nursing is a profession dominated by women and women can be catty at times......i've seen nurses be downright catty. some of the older ones feel as if the newer nurse are "taking over". i cant wait until i get past the "new nurse syndrome" and be confident and comfortable but i have ran into some more seasoned nurses who are impatient, vindictive, and downright mean. new nurses are there to bring something to the table that the more seasoned nurses have done s a superb job of creating. this post wasnt meant to sound immature or anything.........its an issue i have seen and i just wondered if anyone else has also dealt with this..........i am a new nurse and i look to my more seasoned nurses for guidance,wisdom, and intution.

i'm sorry that in your experience, women are catty. but i'm wondering how you know how the "older ones" feel. have they told you they feel as if newer nurses are taking over? if not, you're just guessing, or maybe projecting.

again, i'm sorry you've run into seasoned nurses who are impatient, vindictive and downright mean. some people are like that including some new nurses, some patients, some doctors, some teachers and some priests.

bollweevil · Feb 25, 2008

No, I think some people are just mean and they'll be mean to new and old nurses alike. The only new nurses I have seen get treated really nasty lately were ones that came in with a lot of attitude and had to be corrected. I'm sure they thought it was out of jealousy though!

We have a new grad on our floor. She tends to make some errors and, because I follow her on the next shift, I am usually the one who catches them. Rather than rat her out to the manager or badmouth her or do write-up's, I was just mentioning them to her in a really nice, motherly kind of way the next time I saw her. They could have been serious but weren't in our setting and because I corrected them. I did think she needed to learn, though, so I told her. Well, she resented it. So, guess what. I just stopped telling her and just started writng stuff up. No muss, no fuss. Let her learn from a friendly nurse who was willing to take her under her wing and be understanding that she was a new grad or let her learn from the manager to whom I gave the write-up's. Looks like we just can't win. It really hurt to be misunderstood. My heart was only good but she didn't accept my approach. I guess I should have tried to explain myself better but was so hurt by her rebuff that I just figured the heck with it.

I did say things to her like, "You're a new nurse and you didn't know so let me just tell you" and then tell her whatever it was. Maybe I should have just said stuff in a more detached way. Whatever. :bugeyes: Can't win, can we?

I am jealous of younger people in general, as I have some regrets with how my life has been. I wish I could be young again and do it over, better. Of course, I'd also like to be retired. Go figure. We can only do our best.

shell07RN · Mar 9, 2008

here's some education for the newbies. . .your complaining about this is just as bad as the old bags who may be giving you a hard time. it's all about negative attitudes. the old biddies are handing it out, and some of you newbies are falling right into their trap, sucking it up and spitting out more of your own here. it's all game playing and psychological one-upmanship. ignore these old crones! spend your time in more creative, educational and postivie endeavors! i was unlucky enough to have terrible mentors and a whole bunch of old biddies around me who liked nothing more than to point out every little mistake or flaw i made when i was starting out. i've made it a personal quest to help others going through that same thing learn to deal with it. you are not helping yourself by trashing on these awful people--only making your own pain worse. ignore them and move on. it's very likely that those of you who are the complainers of being on the end of abuse today will be the abusers of the newbies of tomorrow and that's a fact because that is how the cycle of abuse works. think about that.

this is very true as i am a new nurse. i have been told that new nurses have no judgement and are incompetent. but you know what, these older nurses who say these mean things may have you caring for them one day. what comes around always goes around. hold your head up high. you got your license the same way thay did. some people are just miserable with their lives and reflect it on other people.