Offended by pt- how to react?

[LDJRN]

this happened to me friday at work, and i still cannot figure out a way i could've reacted differently to this. i've never had anything like this happen at work, so i was stumped as to how to chide this guy and be professional in every sense of the word. here goes:

i work fri-sun 7p-7a on a sub-acute unit. one of my patients was sitting in the common area speaking to another patient (they are both white males), when i took his pm medication to him. he then tells the other patient, "i like these black nurses. they do what they're supposed to do like good girls. they're so caring and loving; unlike those white ones." the other patient then agreed to this, stating, "yeah, some of the best nurses my son has are black" and mind you his son is one of the doctors we use most. i took offense to this, because that's a freaking generalization and i felt it basically relegated black nurses to a "mamie role"; but i was willing to let it slide. until my patient stuck his feet in his mouth and stated, "you see, what it is with these black women is that they have such sorry black men that when they see us white men, they just want to love all over us." this made me :angryfire (flaming hot mad); but i just laughed and told him, "i don't think that's what it is". i had the same patient assignment all weekend, but i had to mentally distance myself from this guy. whenever i had to do something patient care wise with/for him, i took someone else with me and i basically spaced out mentally; not the best patient care, i know. i wanted to address this with my nm and ask how to best handle situations like this, but i feel it's best if i just let it go. what do you guys think; i.e. what should i have done to let him know he was being offensive (and remain professional), and should i speak with my nm regarding this?

thanks.

[TDub, MSN, EdD]

Don't beat yourself up. You did the exact right thing, you didn't engage him, you didn't anything unprofessional, you didn't agree with him, you kept your cool. Kudos, friend!

The only reason I would go to the NM is to have a record on paper. That way, if anything else happens or there's a pattern, you have a paper trail backing you up. That gives you unassailable credibility. I had something like this with snide nasty comments about my race, weight and background. One of the comments on their own could be passed off as "Oh, I was just joking, why are you all huffy about it?" But, after I had documentation all together in a pile, dated and with my requests to cease and desist, they were expelled.

Protect yourself. Everyone here is pulling for you.

[pie123]

this happened to me friday at work, and i still cannot figure out a way i could've reacted differently to this. i've never had anything like this happen at work, so i was stumped as to how to chide this guy and be professional in every sense of the word. here goes:

i work fri-sun 7p-7a on a sub-acute unit. one of my patients was sitting in the common area speaking to another patient (they are both white males), when i took his pm medication to him. he then tells the other patient, "i like these black nurses. they do what they're supposed to do like good girls. they're so caring and loving; unlike those white ones." the other patient then agreed to this, stating, "yeah, some of the best nurses my son has are black" and mind you his son is one of the doctors we use most. i took offense to this, because that's a freaking generalization and i felt it basically relegated black nurses to a "mamie role"; but i was willing to let it slide. until my patient stuck his feet in his mouth and stated, "you see, what it is with these black women is that they have such sorry black men that when they see us white men, they just want to love all over us." this made me :angryfire (flaming hot mad); but i just laughed and told him, "i don't think that's what it is". i had the same patient assignment all weekend, but i had to mentally distance myself from this guy. whenever i had to do something patient care wise with/for him, i took someone else with me and i basically spaced out mentally; not the best patient care, i know. i wanted to address this with my nm and ask how to best handle situations like this, but i feel it's best if i just let it go. what do you guys think; i.e. what should i have done to let him know he was being offensive (and remain professional), and should i speak with my nm regarding this?

thanks.[/quo

nothing

[pie123]

[quote=EmerNurse;2122058]I had an older african-american gentleman as a patient once who refused me as his nurse on the same excuse, using the cracker comment as well. I simply asked him if he would like to talk to my charge nurse. He said yes. Ironically, (because my unit is very very diverse in its' staff), the charge nurse is a white male. The patient insisted on a black nurse. He got one. She was from Jamaica. He THEN insisted on a REAL black nurse, aka American.

At that point we all threw up our hands. No pleasing some folks and what took a lifetime for them to believe sadly won't always go away in the course of a shift.

As for the patient, he got great care, and signed out AMA after his x-ray was negative. go figure.

Ms. unproffessional again here.... but I believe in stucking up for ourselves.

My mexican friend was told by a white patient "I don't want you as taking care of me because you are Mexican" So she said "Well.... I guess you won't be getting any care until 3:30, 'cuz I'm your nurse". He could have made a stink, or even asked again, and we would have had to re-assign a new nurse, however he got the point and shut up. We as nurses to not have to roll over and play dead everytime someone says hateful things. Patients have every right to be cranky, but NEVER hateful.

I'm with you 100%. I am not into confrontation, by any means, but I do believe in asserting myself.

[mamadumpling]

I agree that you handled the situation very well. In my experience as a professional I have been faced with similar experiences. I have had an oppurtinuty to let them ( certain white male patients) know that that is their perception and I may not necessarily agree with them and would prefer not to be subject to it.(their opinions).

[kingsmiley]

im sorry u had to put up with that but i think u handled yourself very well. some pple would have gone as far as argue or querrel with the patient (believe me i've seen it happen b4) which is totally unwarranted. so dont beat yourself up and forget him. u were very professional.

[Hygiene Queen]

I don't think there's a thing to do about it, except hold yourself together while you are dealing with these types of patients. It's my dignity and these losers aren't taking that by reducing me to tears or seeing me visibly angry. Heck no.

I've seen patients rip on staff that was Asian, black, white, Mexican, Indian, male, female, blonde, red-headed, Southern, "ugly", "pretty", "fat"..... AAAAAARRGGGHHH!!!! The list goes on!

Some patients are just either plain ignorant ding-dongs, due to their ignorant upbringing, or the are personality-challenged ding-dongs who zone in on what they think will be your "hot" button and try to push it.

I still give them good care, but I can't say I hurrying too quick to bring the extra banket or pillow.

[time4meRN]

I can think of many things I would like to say to people like that, but we both know we can't, for many reasons, most of which involve pt satisfaction and lawers. Unfortunately, now days it seems free speech is slipping away. Unless your a pt. Then one can abuse all they want and get away with it. I work in an ER, I can't begin to tell you how many times I have been verbally abused. Although, I am caucasian, it doesn't change the fact that as nurses it seems we are expected to put up with almost anything that comes our way in the name of " pt rights or pt satisfaction". If these people went into Mcdonalds and behaved in such ways, they would not be allowed back to that resturaunt. Wouldn't that be nice to say, " leave and you are not welcome back to this facility !" Oh, to dream ! Well, never the less, it's good that your talking about it , to deal with it. Consider your self hugged and remember that they are idiots, there are more good people in the world than there are bad. They just wanted to get a rise from you.