what should i do?????????

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

I work on a Labor & Delivery Unit, I have been there a little over a year. Orientation is FOREVER. I was told in one year I would be oriented to post partum, nursery, and labor. I am oriented to post partum, nursery, and special care nursery. Still 4 people ahead of me to be trained for labor. In my yearly evaluation I expressed interest in becoming a Lactation Counselor, my unit puts a few nurses through the course every year. I was told I could definitely do the course and my DON was so nice and acted like she thought I would be really good at it. Well since then I have had to go to her with a few problems, we recently changed to couplet care nursing and there have been some unsafe assignments. She does NOT like anyone complaining about anything and obviously did not lie me bringing this info to her attention. She is extremely defensive. She has treated me differently ever since. Last month she told me I would not be going to the lactation course due to starting labor orientation. I said I thought it would be a while still before I did labor because there are 4 people ahead of me and we overlap 2 at a time and orientation is 10-12 weeks. She then said I needed to learn to see things from a management perspective and understand she can only afford to send 2 nurses to the course. OK.....so she lied originally about why I could not go. AND THEN.....she approached my friend and asked her to go to the class!!!!! I was extremely offended as I am a very hard working nurse and I take pride in taking excellent care of my patients. Normally I would not have let this go but I am learning I need to let things go! So I did. I did not say anything further but she continues to give me the cold shoulder. I love this unit, love the patients, have made a lot of friends. I am not going to leave because of her. And I want to complete labor orientation before even considering leaving. Anyway, she is just a terrible DON. Soooooo I currently work per diem in a peds office where I only get 4 hours every other week. A new peds office just moved in to the same building and the one I currently work for gave me a great reference. I was hired to work there one day a week. And I can not believe this but without me saying anything about lactation they asked if I would be willing to be their lactation counselor at the peds office so they could bring in breastfeeding moms who need help. I said of course and that I would love to be able to do this. (They asked me because they know I work L&D). I told them I was not certified and that I had tried to take the course through the hospital but only 2 nurses could go and I was not going to be one of them. The pediatrician said she would pay for me to take the course! I could not believe it! So the course is in November. 40 hours days Monday thru Friday. SOOOOOOOOOO do I tell me DON at the hospital? I can do 2 12 hour shifts on the weekend and a few 4 hour eves and take a little vacation and not even tell her. Should I just do it and then let her know when I am done? She will likely find out because the nurses from my unit will be there. I mean it is not like I am betraying her in any way it really has nothing to do with her. Sorry this post is so long!

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Specializes in ER.

Seriously?? What do you care if she finds out that your PRN job offered training to you?

In fact, I think you should put a gorgeous winning smile on your face and march straight into her office and tell her how EXCITED you are that all of your dreams are coming true. Why all at once you are training to L&D AND lactation consultation. Bet she will be back to kissing your rear end when she realizes that with enough skills/certs and a winning attitude, you are doing her a favor sticking around her nasty self.

Besides, at least around these parts, managers never last long. 18 months tops and you can say good bye to her. You can outlast her easy.

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Specializes in med/surg.

I wouldn't say anything, but take a week long vacation. When you see your co workers there and they ask just say you really wanted to attend the class also. No explanations needed! HEHE :lol2: You are not doing anything wrong by taking vacation! LOL

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If you can arrange your schedule to accommodate the class, go ahead and do that. If anyone asks about it, you can say that you're attending training for the other job. That's assuming your main employer knows about the other job. Or you can say that you're taking a class and leave it at that.

The trick here is to strike a balance between exercising your personal freedom and protecting your primary job. It's really not anyone's business that you are getting this class by going another route. In fact, they should be thrilled to have another LC without having to pay for the training. At the same time, you don't want to give the impression that you're doing something sneaky or trying to irritate the DON. If anything comes up with her, maybe you can just say that you figured she'd be happy about saving some money on your training.

The most important thing for you to do is figure this out in your own spirit. If you feel like you're doing something wrong, people will pick up on that. But if you see this as an opportunity you couldn't pass up, one that will benefit your hospital unit and give you more to contribute on the job, they'll read that too.

Best wishes with the class. Hope everything falls into place for you.

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Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

ok so the class is one week in November. Now at the peds office she said she would pay for the class she did not say she would pay for me to go....its 40 hours. Is it rude of me to ask her?

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I think you are making a lot of drama out of things that don't warrant it. Your DON did not "lie" to you about the course. She only had the money to send 2 people and you were not chosen because you are scheduled for the other training. The fact that you have been a bit disgruntled on the job lately (about the couplet change) probably contributed to her choice to send someone else to the lactation course, but that doesn't make her a liar.

Now, you have a great opportunity to go to the course that you want to attend. Don't make a big drama of it. Simply ask the physican if you'll be paid for the time you spend at the class or not. No big deal. If people from the hospital know about your 2nd job, then there is no reason to hide the fact that the peds office paid for your course. If they don't know, then don't tell them: just say that you really wanted to attend and decided to go even though the hospital didn't pay for it.

Either way, just smile and be happy that you are getting what you want -- both labor orientation and the lactation course. Be gracious. Be "big" about it and nice to everybody. Don't turn a good thing that gives you what you want into a political mess by "picking at it" ... or trying to somehow "get back at" the DON. Simply be happy and nice.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
ok so the class is one week in November. Now at the peds office she said she would pay for the class she did not say she would pay for me to go....its 40 hours. Is it rude of me to ask her?

Yes, it's rude for you to ask. If they were mandating for yout o go that's one thing. But asking for 40 hours pay from a per-diem job...too much. You look selfish and greedy. If your present schedule accomodates the class I would say nothing the DON......you'll look unprofessional and petty. If you need a special schedule I'd tell your DON that an exciting opportunity for further education that is being offered by your per-diem position, funded by the MD, and you need to re-organize your schedule for that one week. Trust me...she'll know whether you tell her or not.

Most managers, DON's are reluctant to hear statements of "unsafe staffing" as well as frequent flyers to their office with multiple complaints. I have known many managers that use their power for punative scheduling. There will always be teachers pets and those who are given opportunity over others, it's a fact of life that if you anger the one that has the power........opportunitis may not be found comming your way. There are ways to convey what you need without sounding petulant and complaining. If she's the type that wants to hear nothing ....I agree with VICEDRN about the 18 month tenure.

Good Luck...

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Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

Thank you all for your comments and advice I appreciate it. lla maybe I didnt explain the situation well as I was lied to. I was promised one thing and then told I could not do it for a reason that was not a reason. As I will not be doing labor orientation for at least 6 months. And I understand how frustrating it must be for a DON listening to complaints all the time but I NEVER complain unless it is something that affects patient care or jeapordizes their safety. Thats what we nurses are there for right....our patients. And as angry as anyone might get to hear the words "unsafe staffing" I will continue to use those words and advocate for all of my patients if needed.

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Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

Also lla who said I ever acted disgruntled on the job? Not me. I go to work with a smile on my face and I take excellent care of my patients. With such a bog change I would think the DON would welcome feedback for what is working and what is not.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
also lla who said i ever acted disgruntled on the job? not me. i go to work with a smile on my face and i take excellent care of my patients. with such a bog change i would think the don would welcome feedback for what is working and what is not.

reading the original post, both the tone and the "between the lines" insinuations, you appear to be disgruntled. if it shows here, i'm sure it shows at work, too. the fact that you're attempting to make a huge drama out of getting exactly what you want points in that direction as well. you've asked for advice, and you've gotten -- obviously more than you wanted. but since you did ask, try to reflect upon the comments you've received and perhaps gain some insight.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
Also lla who said I ever acted disgruntled on the job? Not me. I go to work with a smile on my face and I take excellent care of my patients. With such a bog change I would think the DON would welcome feedback for what is working and what is not.

She knows you don't like her. You criticized her several times in your OP and made it very clear that you don't like her. She didn't get her position by being stupid. She can recognize an employee who is just putting a smile on their face at work but saying bad things about her behind her back. She is investing tens of thousands of dollars in your orientation ... and is having doubts about your loyalty. Given her doubts about your committment to her and her department, she decided that the L&D orientation was enough of an investment and chose someone else for the lactation course. That makes her smart ... not a liar.

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Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

i come to this site to vent so that i do not do it at work. i am at work for one reason and that is to take care of my patients and that i do well. i am not going to worry about this anymore. cant make everyone happy. unfortunately some bosses only like those who suck up to them and never bring problems to their attention. unfortunately for me that is not me.

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