And You Think You Had A Bad Day!!

  1. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Here is his message.

    Hi Sis,
    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
    As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this; We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, and heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.:wink2:
    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bett started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.
    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
    I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops, totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days, because my butt was swollen shut.
    So, next time you're gaving a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.:imbar
  2. Visit FranEMTnurse profile page

    About FranEMTnurse, LPN, EMT-I Pro

    Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 14,733; Likes: 7,954


  3. by   Gator,SN

    Thanx for sharing this!
    too funny!

  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    I'm glad you enjoyed it. I thought it was funny too.:roll Poor guy.
  5. by   nekhismom
    That was really funny!!!! Feel sorry for his butt, though.
  6. by   Mariannsi
    I'm laughing aloud with tears in my eyes. Thanks for posting this story - It's outlandish it's true!!! Frances - my regards to your brother!

  7. by   Rhoresmith
    Oh how funny !!!!
    I am sorry for you poor brother but that does put things in perspective

    Rhonda :roll
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    Yeah, my hemorrhoids hurt just thinking about it.

    You all have a good day now, ya hear?
  9. by   renerian
    DANG poor guy! OUCH! I am laughing my butt off though!

  10. by   ladytraviler
    Boy, oh Boy! I will definately remeber this nex time i have a bad day.