Hi everyone. I really need some advice from anyone that can help. I am a second year nursing student with clinical on a very very busy and stressful med surge floor. I try my best and work very hard to provide the best possible care but I am not perfect and sometimes I mess up. My problem is that whenever the smallest thing goes wrong, I cant get over it. I literally obsess abut it and can't sleep for days, sometimes weeks after. I usually go home crying and fell very upset with myself. This is beginning to be a big problem for me and is affecting my life very negatively. Other nursing students tell me that I am too sensitive and should not take things so seriously. I have also been told that it is a good thing that I get upset because it shows that I care about the patients.
My question is how can I stop letting things that go wrong at clinical upset me so much? In other words, how can I not take work home with me?
So a newly-diagnosed diabetic whose glucose is out of control isn't being dehumanized when medication is prescribed, but it's dehumanizing to prescribe psych meds for someone in emotional trouble?
I find it uniquely American that we are such judgmental Puritans that any method other than meds much be sought first for emotional pain. Sometimes pain doesn't teach us anything. Sometimes it just paralyzes and hurts.
I was getting out of bed and going to work every single day during the worst of my depression. I'd get up in the morning and get in the shower and sigh, "I'm an organism. And now I'm going to groom this cell colony to attract a walking set of male nucleotides to hope they'll want to replicate with mine. What a joke." And I steadily wept throughout the day while doing my job.
I do NOT believe in throwing Ritalin at every little boy who can't sit still, or at throwing psych meds at every emotional problem that presents. But someone who can't let go and whose fellow students, all of whom are in the same situation and at the same stress level, are telling to calm down and stop reacting so, is in need of pharmaceutical attention and assistance, even if it's just an Ambien so she can get a night's sleep before heading off to face clinicals again.
Obviously we are both projecting our personal experiences onto the OP. About ten years ago I was in significant psychological pain and tried psych meds. They made me worse off than before I went to the doctor. It was only when I went AMA and dropped all the SSRIs and sleeping pills and faced my pain and began cognitive behavioral therapy that I felt better. It wasn't pleasant, but I am so much stronger and happier today than I was years back trying to numb my pain with psych meds. Frankly I am glad I couldn't take the meds due to side effects because it forced me to address the underlying issues causing my pain and learn more healthy ways of dealing with thought patterns and stress.
Note, I am not saying that my experience applies to the OP, and frankly neither does yours necessarily. We are all different, with different stress levels, different lives and unique strenghts and weaknesses. It's not like I said to the OP "Don't take psych meds!" I did not say that or mean that.
I do maintain that it is dehumanizing to suggest psych meds to someone right off the bat when they bring you their pain. Your glucose analogy is bogus. Not all emotional pain is a mental disorder. Not all anxiety is a medical disorder. Not all sadness is clinical depression. It is shades of gray. I'll never forget what happened recently with a friend of mine. I had a rare occurance of breaking down in tears crying. I was trying to talk thru my tears about what was upsetting me. She said to me "I'm not comfortable, I believe you should call a shrink." Excuse me?! Do we pathologize/medicalize all human pain now? Do we outsource me crying, or the OP's pain with nursing school to a shrink right off the bat? What happened to sitting with that person and being with them in their pain. Compassion, love, and addressing the reason why the person is so upset. And if all that doesn't work, then perhaps a trip to the doctor is in order.
We don't know enough about the OP. But I do think she could be helped if we listen to her, encourage her, and stop projecting our own stuff onto her, including the most recent "come to jesus" post.
I am with you on the anxiety/depression roller coaster otherwise known as Nursing school.
I have done it all, meditation, walking, listening to music, talking to friends...try that stuff and see how it works out for you.
Aromatherapy--lavender will help you sleep at night.
Taking my dogs for walks helps. Cuddling with our pet rats helps too. Maybe you have a pet to bond with? Or a friend's beastie you can borrow?
I have been on Zoloft since a few months before school started. It was explained to me very recently by a nurse practitioner that the idea of short-term use of SSRI's is this: Continued stress can lead to serotonin depletion and when its gone, its gone. Taking and SSRI during a period of enhanced stress helps keep the even keel until the stress is gone. At that point, many people can stop taking it and function just fine. I think that was the gist of some of the other posts about antidepressants. Me, I have long-term stress and will likely keep taking it since even when nursing school ends in nine more weeks, I will still be living in a situation that is stressful.
So look at your options for help, and go with what speaks to you. Posting here is a great idea, and you can see you got lots of tips and viewpoints! :)
One thing you may want to do is talk to your clinical instructor about it. It could be that she can tell you are hard on yourself, and she may well have some suggestions for you.
Or talk to your doc, and it doesn't have to be just about SSRI's. The NP I see recommends stuff like Yoga and energy healers, she is into the alternative as well as the conventional and the bottom line is that if it helps, then its good. (providing its legal of course lol) There are stress reduction programs out there, and in my area at least, some are sponsored by my health insurance provider.
I do maintain that it is dehumanizing to suggest psych meds to someone right off the bat when they bring you their pain. Your glucose analogy is bogus. Not all emotional pain is a mental disorder. Not all anxiety is a medical disorder. Not all sadness is clinical depression. It is shades of gray.......................We don't know enough about the OP. But I do think she could be helped if we listen to her, encourage her, and stop projecting our own stuff onto her, including the most recent "come to jesus" post.
Quote edited for brevity. (But my post isn't and I hope there aren't too many typos)
Obviously those on psych meds are going to chime in with how they've helped them through and are appropriate for their condition.
However, I would like to point out that I understand what you're saying. I think our society is geared towards not feeling emotional pain, always looking for some sort of relief and escape. Thus the prelavence of alcohol use and drug use for this reason (yes I also know it's a physical addiction), as well as overeating, and use of pyschotropic drugs.
It's too bad your friend just couldn't allow you to have a good cry. This is a good example of people not being comfortable with their feelings or other peoples feelings.
There are times in my life when I know that I'm going to cry, feel stress, depression and anxiety and have sleepless nights. That's just living life on life's terms and feeling life's feelings. I certainly am not going to run to an MD for a pill every time this happens in my life.
Also, certain medical conditions don't always warrent running for a pill or shot. To use the diabetic analogy. How about weight loss, diet and excercise and lifestyle changes prior to taking pills or shots? (Obviously, as a nurse in America I'm all for the medical model for management, but it might not always in every case be the first line of treatment.)
As I said above, if I'm not functioning or sleeping for weeks, it might be time to take my stubborn butt to the MD for professional guidance. (Or if my blood glucose is 600, I'm going to take insulin.) Why suffer needlessly when medical help can provide relief?
You're not saying that medication is not appropriate, but it's not the answer in every situation, and I tend to agree that it's a bit overused and if suggested without warrent dehumanizing because it suggests that such feelings and reactions to tough situations like nursing school is inappropriate.
Quote edited for brevity. (But my post isn't and I hope there aren't too many typos)
Obviously those on psych meds are going to chime in with how they've helped them through and are appropriate for their condition.
However, I would like to point out that I understand what you're saying. I think our society is geared towards not feeling emotional pain, always looking for some sort of relief and escape. Thus the prelavence of alcohol use and drug use for this reason (yes I also know it's a physical addiction), as well as overeating, and use of pyschotropic drugs.
It's too bad your friend just couldn't allow you to have a good cry. This is a good example of people not being comfortable with their feelings or other peoples feelings.
There are times in my life when I know that I'm going to cry, feel stress, depression and anxiety and have sleepless nights. That's just living life on life's terms and feeling life's feelings. I certainly am not going to run to an MD for a pill every time this happens in my life.
Also, certain medical conditions don't always warrent running for a pill or shot. To use the diabetic analogy. How about weight loss, diet and excercise and lifestyle changes prior to taking pills or shots? (Obviously, as a nurse in America I'm all for the medical model for management, but it might not always in every case be the first line of treatment.)
As I said above, if I'm not functioning or sleeping for weeks, it might be time to take my stubborn butt to the MD for professional guidance. (Or if my blood glucose is 600, I'm going to take insulin.) Why suffer needlessly when medical help can provide relief?
You're not saying that medication is not appropriate, but it's not the answer in every situation, and I tend to agree that it's a bit overused and if suggested without warrent dehumanizing because it suggests that such feelings and reactions to tough situations like nursing school is inappropriate.
Remember you learn from mistakes, you'll never make them again. while you are in school your instructors are there for you, its a great place to make mistakes.Believe me they would never let you harm a Pt. Don't beat yourself up so hard you are human just remember to learn.....
Here's an alternative perspective to the one you are using now. You are obviously qualified, or you wouldn't be in the program. You are obviously competant, or you would have been removed from clinicals. You are obviously able to have success in the nursing program because you are in your second year. So what is the problem? Probably self-doubt and too much worry. Those are states of mind and habits of thinking, not a reflection of your ability or effort.
I know when I was in my final stage of deciding to chuck in all, my former life and career and go to nursing school...I read about "death by decimal point" on one of my many google searches. Let's just say the prospect of me killing someone due to an error, or death by decimal point kept me up with insomnia for a good two weeks. How did I stop it? I used cognitive behavioral therapy on myself. I had to go thru the steps of stopping the all-or-nothing-catastrophizing-black-and-white-doom-and-gloom-thinking. That combined with exercise, and within a few days, and I was sleeping just fine and confident in my abilities again.
edited to add: because I have previously been in therapy I could recognise my specific faulty thinking and take the steps to reframe and address it. Had I not had experience with therapy I would have been lost as to how to reverse the detrimental thinking.
I do maintain that it is dehumanizing to suggest psych meds to someone right off the bat when they bring you their pain. Your glucose analogy is bogus. Not all emotional pain is a mental disorder. Not all anxiety is a medical disorder. Not all sadness is clinical depression. It is shades of gray. I'll never forget what happened recently with a friend of mine. I had a rare occurance of breaking down in tears crying. I was trying to talk thru my tears about what was upsetting me. She said to me "I'm not comfortable, I believe you should call a shrink." Excuse me?! Do we pathologize/medicalize all human pain now? Do we outsource me crying, or the OP's pain with nursing school to a shrink right off the bat? What happened to sitting with that person and being with them in their pain. Compassion, love, and addressing the reason why the person is so upset. And if all that doesn't work, then perhaps a trip to the doctor is in order.
I beg your pardon, but my suggestion was not dehumanizing. It was sincere, and we've already been over what in that post screamed something more than simple stress.
The glucose analogy is not bogus. Of course everyone wants the diabetic patient to lose weight, eat properly, and take a walk every day. And how many achieve that simple yet unattainable goal? Beyond that, there are those diabetics who can not lessen their symptoms through anything other than medication. This is the analogy I'm drawing, although, of course, you have chosen not to see it. My point is that emotional distress is just as real as a physical condition yet we don't see it as such. And of course not every sad moment is or should be medicated. But unrelieved anxiety and terror should. :sofahider
And your "friend" is a creep. I hope you have better ones. :angryfire
Look, I know I sound a tad bit aggravated, but I've been therapized and analyzed up the wazoo. :smiley_ab I know from wence my troubles arise. I understand the familial, social, and physiological dynamics of who I am. And understanding that has never helped.
While we disagree on one point, I think it is great that we are communicating now. After all, we are both followers of the FSM! So we must get along LOL.
As for the glucose, I control my sugar with exercise and a healthy diet. No soda, hydrogenated fats, or simple carbs for me. I look at all the 200 lb women in my family with their insulin, and I say 'no thank you' and I head off to the gym. It is really hard but it can be done. I know I may sound harsh, really I'm not. Sometimes I think we tend to underestimate all patients, like a lowest common denominator when in fact we should just underestimate the actual lowest common denominator patients. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, my point was that some people are helped by psych meds, some aren't and perhaps we would do better to not project our own personal experience onto others because their situation is unique to them. Oh, and that 'friend' is no longer someone I would talk with about anything important.
Right now, you need an outlet for this anxiety and stress. You will also learn that what is done is done - and that you have to own it and then let it go. This was the toughest challenge in my first year as a nurse. The skills and the manual dexterity come with practice - and I still drop stuff and generally make a mess, but that stuff doesn't get me flustered anymore. A simple "messy nurses are the best nurses" gets me out of my klutziness gracefully.
But getting too wrapped up is not good for you. It is too much for a person to take on the suffering of all your patients as your own suffering. All that is expected is that while you are there, you do your best. On my way home, I blast the music, cry if I need to, call my mother - whatever it takes to get rid of the feelings. But I walk into my house and I am no longer "Nurse Blee", I become wife, mom and just plain old regular, I think I'll pretend that I am a florist Blee!
Good luck getting though this - it isn't easy. You need to not be so hard on yourself. You are a student and not expected to know how to be a nurse. It is unrealistic for you to feel this way, even if your instructors are demanding and it seems as if they expect perfection. No one is perfect. If you still find yourself having a hard time, you need to talk to someone. A trusted professor, a counselor, anyone who doesn't call you an "angel on earth" for your choice of professions. (I find that particular sterotype hysterical when I have to wipe a behind).
Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.
A little bit of exercise works wonders. In stressful situations a bit of daily "defusing" is Very helpful. Defusing is just talking about your day to someone else who was there or understands nursing...this is a mini debriefing and it sure helps. Sitting down over a cup of coffee with another student, chatting online with other nurses, telling a friend that nursing is stressful and you want to go for a nice walk and chat about the weather etc. Keeping it all inside will really make you feel like you are going nuts. When I got stressed about terminal weanings in the ICU I was working in I had a dear friend suggest that I journalize. I started writing about my day and feelings and put it on computer disc so I could go back and read it again later after I calmed down a bit. That really helped plus now after putting 4 years of that down in words I am now working on a book about death and dying.
Hi, I agree with others as to exercising, it really has seemed to help me with clearing my head.
Also, went I get in that mode where I find myself in bed constantly thinking of school, etc.. I know it's time that I take a "mental break" day as long as there is not a future test or something urgent lurking in the near future I'll just take a day NOT touch my books or anything and do something I think is fun andNOT school related(shopping with friends..) .
Sometimes I just have to shut it off for a day and let my nursing/school focused mind just chill.
.
Multicollinearity, BSN, RN
3,119 Posts
Obviously we are both projecting our personal experiences onto the OP. About ten years ago I was in significant psychological pain and tried psych meds. They made me worse off than before I went to the doctor. It was only when I went AMA and dropped all the SSRIs and sleeping pills and faced my pain and began cognitive behavioral therapy that I felt better. It wasn't pleasant, but I am so much stronger and happier today than I was years back trying to numb my pain with psych meds. Frankly I am glad I couldn't take the meds due to side effects because it forced me to address the underlying issues causing my pain and learn more healthy ways of dealing with thought patterns and stress.
Note, I am not saying that my experience applies to the OP, and frankly neither does yours necessarily. We are all different, with different stress levels, different lives and unique strenghts and weaknesses. It's not like I said to the OP "Don't take psych meds!" I did not say that or mean that.
I do maintain that it is dehumanizing to suggest psych meds to someone right off the bat when they bring you their pain. Your glucose analogy is bogus. Not all emotional pain is a mental disorder. Not all anxiety is a medical disorder. Not all sadness is clinical depression. It is shades of gray. I'll never forget what happened recently with a friend of mine. I had a rare occurance of breaking down in tears crying. I was trying to talk thru my tears about what was upsetting me. She said to me "I'm not comfortable, I believe you should call a shrink." Excuse me?! Do we pathologize/medicalize all human pain now? Do we outsource me crying, or the OP's pain with nursing school to a shrink right off the bat? What happened to sitting with that person and being with them in their pain. Compassion, love, and addressing the reason why the person is so upset. And if all that doesn't work, then perhaps a trip to the doctor is in order.
We don't know enough about the OP. But I do think she could be helped if we listen to her, encourage her, and stop projecting our own stuff onto her, including the most recent "come to jesus" post.