Nursing student after TBI

[vryeesfeathers]

I'm interested in reading comments from fellow nursing students (or nurses who were injured before/during their nursing education) who have sustained a traumatic brain injury. Hopefully I can network to figure out the best strategies for my deficits. I know they aren't learning and synthesizing the material for written exams but I have practical application issues. I went through my state university program well until the clinical courses began. I even had an A grade in the lecture portion of the course each semester I dropped [2 in a row :-(] but I get EXTREMELY anxious at the hospital and my mind goes blank. I enrolled in my community college's ADN program and will start in the fall 2016 in semester 2/4 with only three clinical courses left to do.

In 2010, I sustained a TBI from a 30' fall and almost died. I have the mental capacity to be a nurse as my 3.7+ GPA exhibits but I need to wrestle that performance anxiety monkey off my back. I have volunteered in a clinical capacity a a regional hospital since 2012, worked as a CNA for a few months in 2013, and currently work as an aide for a quadriplegic but it is someone looking over my shoulder and evaluating me and pointing out all of the things I should do better (do a head-to-toe faster, use unfamiliar equipment right the first time) that makes me freeze up. Words of encouragement and strategies to get through the ADN program when I begin during the fall term are what I need.

Not only do I have the intelligence to do the work but also the patient perspective and a caring/giving/selfless demeanor that makes for a good nurse. After all, nurses are instruments of care, not just a cog in the wheel of a cure. I'm taking an SSRI, an antianxiety med as of last month, and seeing a psychotherapist specializing in TBI and developmental disorders in hopes that those things will allow me to finish and become an RN. I also see a vocational counselor who specializes with TBI patients (high functioning level) to get advice from and who wants to connect me to nurses who have sustained a TBI during their career.

While I am fortunate to simply be alive, I want to contribute to society again in a meaningful capacity and like the motto of the ARMY says, I want to be all I can be. Help me formulate strategies so I can get past my deficits and become an RN so I'm no longer eligible for social security disability insurance income [sSDI](I put in my 40 quarters before I was injured so God saw fit to motivate my family to ensure I have that backing).

To restate what I'm wanting in the comments from ya'll:

*caring support since I'm a nursing student with emotional trauma from failing to apply my knowledge in my clinical rotations (compounded from a diffuse axonal injury)

*your stories of nursing school post TBI

*suggestions of strategies I should employ to find success in the practicum portion of clinicals

Thank you all for your attention and help! I'm kinda wordy.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

You're obviously intelligent and articulate as evidenced by your post and GPA. However, nursing is not about "us" - it is about the patient. It doesn't matter how prepared we are - if we can't act quickly and decisively to keep our patients safe. Although empathy and 'caring' are important attributes, they will not matter much when your patient needs emergent interventions.

It would appear from your post that you are already engaged in a comprehensive program to overcome your remaining deficits. You'll have to rely on your own integrity to determine whether you're capable of providing the care that your patients deserve.

[stephanyj89]

I'll preface this comment with - I am not a nurse, have never worked as a nurse/CNA in the hospital, or have any hospital clinical experience. I am merely trying to give some alternative suggestions and solutions (not knowing if they are feasible).

How do you perform in the classroom simulations? Does the teacher there make you nervous or is it only in the hospital setting? If it's just the hospital setting, maybe it's possible to work with the doctors and fellow nurses to help you run scenarios away from too many watching eyes and then work your way into more stressful situations. I froze up the first few EMS calls when I was getting my EMT certification. And let me tell you, they were not calls you wanted to freeze up on (MVA auto v ped hit and run, 6y/o, 8y/o and mom, 8y/o DoA and 6y/o died en route to hospital). It was a very stressful time, but fortunately the paramedics that were with me remained calm and told me exactly what they needed me to do and when. As I got more clinicals and ride alongs under my belt, I became way more confident in my skills and even a few rides I was the EMT in charge. I made the decisions, called everything in, worked with dispatch and wrote the PCR. It was very helpful to work with people that keep their cool in stressful situations and are able to work with you when you need help.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything works out!!

[vryeesfeathers]

Stephany, I did not get anxious when I was in the simulation labs and I set up today an audit of the skills course at my community college so I would have a refresher since it has been a year since I took that course and I want to ensure the material is fresh. I'm trying to find all the ways I can ensure that I will be successful; failure has never been an option and is alien to me. Like it was mentioned, that patient is my priority so it only matters insofar as I can safely practice.

[stephanyj89]

I am with you that failure is not an option. Just remember that everyone makes mistakes and it's better to do it in the learning process than in the field. Take your time and do what ever you need to to make sure you are comfortable. If you aren't, you're patient won't be either. I'm sure there are plenty of docs and nurses and teachers out there that would be willing to help you feel more comfortable in the field. Just have to find them.

Good luck!

[Kuriin, BSN, RN]

OP, it does not sound like this TBI you experienced is affecting you in any way. You are just experiencing what many, if not all nursing students go through: Anxiety. You will get through it, eventually. Accept it and push through it. :)