Nursing-Social Life

AutumnApple · Jul 17, 2016

I travel nursed for some time. Always being the new person and (usually) being exempt from the drama has its perks.

Did I encounter cliques? Yes and no.

For me, you have to be careful labeling people as cliques. My experience has shown me this term is abused.

Let me ask you: How do you determine a group is a clique? What separates a clique from a group that supports one another?

I've seen lots of nurses who are guilty of nothing more than having a well developed support circle get accused of being clique-ish.

One assignment i was on had a high number of travel nurses. More than one fellow travel nurse informed me "On this unit, its us vs them". They insisted the staff nurses were too clique-ish.

I followed my rule of getting to know people and finding out for myself. My experience was not the same as my fellow travel nurses.

The staff nurses never tried to put me in an unfair assignment, helped me when I needed it just like everyone else and were never standoffish towards me.....professiinally.

Now, off hours was a different story. No, I wasn't invited to "hang out" after work and such. No birthday party for me. Even while working, there wasn't much small talk or chatter.

Did I mind? No. They didn't know me really. What did I expect?

In the end, I decided my fellow travel nurses were just being a bit arrogant. You can't walk in on a group of people who have known each other for years, say a few hellos, and expect to be treated as though you had been there the whole time.

Sometimes its not them being clique-ish. Its us not having done our part to be one of the gang yet.

xdrowe · Jul 17, 2016

interesting.. does that truly work out w/o any drama? I am just basing this off a reality show I watched.. of course drama on tv is a good thing, but this doesn't happen in your circle?[/quote
No drama. We are all good friends. We go to each other's birthday parties, weddings etc.
That is awesome that you have met a group of people that you can share work life/social life together. Best of both worlds, because I am sure no one understands a medical professional more than a medical professional.

xdrowe · Jul 17, 2016

I travel nursed for some time. Always being the new person and (usually) being exempt from the drama has its perks.
Did I encounter cliques? Yes and no.
For me, you have to be careful labeling people as cliques. My experience has shown me this term is abused.
Let me ask you: How do you determine a group is a clique? What separates a clique from a group that supports one another?
I've seen lots of nurses who are guilty of nothing more than having a well developed support circle get accused of being clique-ish.
One assignment i was on had a high number of travel nurses. More than one fellow travel nurse informed me "On this unit, its us vs them". They insisted the staff nurses were too clique-ish.
I followed my rule of getting to know people and finding out for myself. My experience was not the same as my fellow travel nurses.
The staff nurses never tried to put me in an unfair assignment, helped me when I needed it just like everyone else and were never standoffish towards me.....professiinally.
Now, off hours was a different story. No, I wasn't invited to "hang out" after work and such. No birthday party for me. Even while working, there wasn't much small talk or chatter.
Did I mind? No. They didn't know me really. What did I expect?
In the end, I decided my fellow travel nurses were just being a bit arrogant. You can't walk in on a group of people who have known each other for years, say a few hellos, and expect to be treated as though you had been there the whole time.
Sometimes its not them being clique-ish. Its us not having done our part to be one of the gang yet.

Thanks for sharing your experience. In my OP I don't think I specified my meaning for clique. Naturally, cliques form with people who have history.. at least in most cases. I didn't mean that it could be negative, but I get that it can get abused like you said. I will be careful of using that word now. You hit the nail right on its head because I was curious if anyone felt it was disadvantageous to indulge in platonic relationships with co-workers, not just in medical setting but any work setting. You chose a different route. At the end of the day, how did it make you feel? Unaffected I assume, but do you see a benefit of having a friend at work to share some work-like experiences? If not, who do you share stuff like that with?

dec2007 · Jul 18, 2016

One of the reasons that i usually try to keep work and private life separate is that I have seen a lot of off-duty friendships turn into on-duty drama. I hate drama.

Maerzie · Jul 18, 2016

In 40+ years of nursing, I had moved several times, and I never had a problem "fitting in", or, with cliques. You obviously have to know what you're doing, however. I have worked with (taught?) new "supposed RNs", making as much, or, almost as much, money as I was, who had no idea how to insert a Foley catheter, or N/G tube, and/or could not tell one, from the other, and with zero judgment skills. Many of the short term, "RN? courses", don't have anywhere NEAR enough time given to the actual "practice" skills. Much more practical teaching and actual experience needs to be done, in order to qualify for the title, "R.N."! It is unfair to the new nurse, the experienced nurse, the patients, and the administration, that such shamefully inadequate schools are able to charge high tuition, while letting such scared, inadequately prepared "RNs?", out, on their own, whether they can make it through the "written" State Board exams, or not. Please, somebody at the state levels, update your practical teaching time and experience, BEFORE "pretending" these newbies can be called, RNs!

NotYourMamasRN · Jul 18, 2016

Personally, I do my best to not get involved with the social groups at work. In my experience people have a hard time separating friendships and professional relationships be it romantic involvement or problems when a friend moves to a position of authority, etc. I am friendly with all my coworkers, go to company functions, but I do not hang out with coworkers outside of that. I have personal friends who work in other departments or different fields within the hospital. I just prefer having a separate work and social life. I also do not engage in gossip of any kind with coworkers. There is a lot of it in healthcare and I hear some terrible things being the quiet wallflower. But people know not to engage me in those discussions.

NotYourMamasRN · Jul 18, 2016

One of the reasons that i usually try to keep work and private life separate is that I have seen a lot of off-duty friendships turn into on-duty drama. I hate drama.

Same here!

xdrowe · Jul 18, 2016

In 40+ years of nursing, I had moved several times, and I never had a problem "fitting in", or, with cliques. You obviously have to know what you're doing, however. I have worked with (taught?) new "supposed RNs", making as much, or, almost as much, money as I was, who had no idea how to insert a Foley catheter, or N/G tube, and/or could not tell one, from the other, and with zero judgment skills. Many of the short term, "RN? courses", don't have anywhere NEAR enough time given to the actual "practice" skills. Much more practical teaching and actual experience needs to be done, in order to qualify for the title, "R.N."! It is unfair to the new nurse, the experienced nurse, the patients, and the administration, that such shamefully inadequate schools are able to charge high tuition, while letting such scared, inadequately prepared "RNs?", out, on their own, whether they can make it through the "written" State Board exams, or not. Please, somebody at the state levels, update your practical teaching time and experience, BEFORE "pretending" these newbies can be called, RNs!

Wow this was a little scary for me. I hope that when I am done with nursing school, that I am more prepared or at least know the difference between catheters.

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Jul 18, 2016

You can have cliques anywhere at any job. Working 3 12 hour shifts is great because you can go a month or more without seeing someone. It helps break up the clique mentality! Saw much more of it when 8 hour shifts were the norm and everyone worked a set schedule.

Some nurses socialize outside of work, but not everyone. It just depends on the unit and the coworkers. In general young singles hang out together and married with family socialize less. Personally I think it's better to keep work and personal life separate. I learned that the hard way from trusting the wrong persons. Sure I still socialize with a few coworkers, but keep things light and save my innermost being and thoughts to my loved ones outside of work. I learned to share a lot less of my personal life thru trial and error. To each his own.

loriangel14, RN · Jul 18, 2016

On my floor we are each other's support group. We have helped each other through illness, divorce, mental health issues, struggles with kids, caring for elderly parents,death, you name it. We go to weddings , showers and have vacationed together.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Jul 19, 2016

I am "friendly" to my coworkers, but we are not friends outside of work. I have a rich social life, but I keep it separate from my work life.

xdrowe · Jul 19, 2016

I am "friendly" to my coworkers, but we are not friends outside of work. I have a rich social life, but I keep it separate from my work life.

This sounds like the best thing to do. My grandmother had one friend and she never did anything more than have lunch with her until after 40 years when they both retired.