Nursing, not as rewarding as I thought...

Jo Dirt · Jun 11, 2007

My job stressed me out so bad that when I got out of it after 8 months I vowed to get out of nursing altogether. I became so cynical and hateful and resentful.

No matter how you may think you hate your profession you still have bills to pay so even though i wasn't able to get out of nursing I switched to a job with a much lower stress level and it saved my life. I was so miserable at the other place the $8/hr pay cut was worth it to me!

Wen83 · Jun 12, 2007

Thanks for all of your replies, it's nice to know that I am not the only one that is feeling this way or have felt this way. Allnurses keeps me afloat :mad: I have no intentions of bailing out of nursing so soon... at least not without trying other parts of nursing. I want to find my niche in nursing, but I have no idea what that would be at this point. I also understand that new jobs are not easy and it's not going to look good if I keep job-hopping. I am constantly stressed and it's not only hurting me, but my fiance as well. Many of you are right and I really need to sit down and think about why I am feeling this way. I have today and tomorrow off, I think I need to take some deep breaths and see where to go from here.

natasha2003 · Jun 12, 2007

maybe you need to try a new area, after 5 mos it should be routine by now. we all have our bad days but not every day. good luck

imenid37 · Jun 12, 2007

I felt so overwhelmed at my first job for about two years. I was newly married w/ a new baby too. it was he!! I survived and after three years at the same place, I switched to OB and haven't looked back since in the last 17 years. I am very happy w/ my clinical area. Sometimes the job gets to me. I do education now and the rules and politics are a real pain. I still lve my moms and babies though. My "new baby" is now in nursing school herself. I have been at this for twenty years all together. There are good and bad times, but never a cake-walk. I should have left my first job after about a year. I wasted time being unhappy, but wasn't really sure what I wanted. Nursing is very stressful, but there are lots of opportunities. It can be very all consuming. Being a nurse is different than being a student. Instead of a test you study for every week or every unit, there is a test just about every day, sometimes several times in one day. This does get better as you have more experience to draw from. It is a real culture shock. School is over, but for the new grad the stress is not and won't be for awhile. It is sometimes hard because lots of us old folks have a short memory and aren't as helpful as we should be. We were all new once. For almost all of us there were things we were unsure of or uncomfortable with, but we are busy, stressed, and we often forget.Sometimes the best kind of help is just a bit of encouragement. You can get through this, but I think you are really down and need help. Life is too short to spend time sufferring. Good luck finding your niche. It probably is out there. I thought I was a real dummy for about my first three years out of school. Now I think most of the time, anyway, I am pretty darn good. Give yourselves a chance, you newbies. We really need you.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jun 12, 2007

I was not fooled by thinking that nursing was a compassionate career before I got into it, because I was a nursing assistant, medical assistant, home health aide...the whole gammit, but, I wanted to become an LPN because I wanted mobility, and I do have an interest and compassion for people. What I didn't realize is the impact of others can influence your day. There are some nurses that are simply not safe to work with. At first, I thought that I can work around them, but, many times, the domino effect does fall on me somehow, no matter how much I try to avoid it. I have to do some serious thinking about where I want to work in nursing, because of this. It is a shame, because the patients do suffer. There is a high volume of patients, too little caring staff, and the rest of the team is a horror. I do know that I will remain a nurse, but, I may not remain where I am currently working. Unfortunately, this facility paid my way through school, so I am on contract with them for about 3 years before I can shake their dust at my feet. Until then, I just pray.

lizzyberry · Jun 12, 2007

Some days I think I'd really rather slit my wrists than go to work ....
I had the same sort of problem with my first nursing job. It stressed me out to the point that my hair was falling out and I was vomiting every day before going to work. My husband and I were fighting all the time. I didn't know what was making me unhappy ... was it my husband and our relationship or was it my job? I took a 6 week leave of absence from my job and things with my husband improved dramatically. So I figured it was my job.
I found another one. And I didn't like it either, so I'm now on my third job. A lot of my co-workers sign up for extra shifts all the time and stay late and come in early and seem really delighted to be at work. I don't understand that. I only do what I absolutely have to, no more. Nursing is not the extraordinarily rewarding career I thought it would be when I was in nursing school. I have a job that I can do, that I'm fairly good at, and that I can tolerate, but nursing is just not really a passion for me. I can't imagine nursing for 30 years. Ugh.
That makes me kind of sad because, like you, I worked really hard to get to be a nurse. It's disappointing to find out it's not all I thought it would be. sometimes, though, things just don't work out like you expect.
Try a different job. Try several. But don't torture yourself if nursing ends up not being for you. There are millions of other things out there that you can do ... you could even stay in nursing but get out of direct patient care.
Best of luck!

I am a nursing student and I was just wondering if you could let me in on why you think nursing is not all its cracked up to be? I just dont want to think what your thinking down the line. What exactly makes it a bad job at times?

dorselm · Jun 12, 2007

I was a little scared of life after nursing school before I read this post. Now I am out right terrified. I keep thinking, what did I get myself into and how do I get out. I am a first semester RN student in a diploma program. I am also a CNA at an LTC facility. I work my behind off like a dog and I see, smell, hear and experience it all! All day and night (I work doubles on the weekends), I hear the nurses complain about how hard nursing is and how they regret going into this profession. I can't go back because I signed the tuition forgiveness contract at my school so if I withdraw, I owe them for this semester which is a few thousand dollars. I keep telling myself that God is leading me down this path and that if I can make it through that He will bless me with a good career. Now I don't know what to think! :smackingf

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jun 12, 2007

I am a nursing student and I was just wondering if you could let me in on why you think nursing is not all its cracked up to be? I just dont want to think what your thinking down the line. What exactly makes it a bad job at times?

I know this question wasn't directed at me, but I can contribute to the answer by saying that for me, it is the people I work with, and am sure that most may agree in varying ways. I know that the patient may not be the most pleasent, because they are sick and vulnerable. However, if you need resources, if nothing else, but to get this patient off of your back, you will find that people are not as supportive as you may think that they should be. There is a great deal of dumping, half assed preceptorship and a basic lack of compassion for the client and each other. The managers do not take our licenses into consideration, it is about the money. You will see unsafe patient loads, constant changing of orders, incomplete orders and basically, it is assembly line care...similar to if you took your car into a shop. A shame, I would say, and the patients don't know or care about what you have to go through to get a simple request honored for them, making it worse when you get cursed out.

An example of this is; I work in a clinic as an LPN. We were going towards the very end of the day, and there were many patients that I had to counsel. A woman walked in without an appointment with her mother and wanted to know how to work her mom's glucometer. She approached the doctor, who said that I can help her (not knowing that I had no time). I already had about 5 patients who were waiting for at least two hours to be seen by one of us, and the woman was very insistant about being seen. She stated to me that I must not have wanted to help them because they may appear to be ugly in my eyes (very indignant). At the same time, someone had to go to the emergency room. I tried to explain to her as nicely as I could that because she was a walk in, she would have to wait for some time until I can get to them, and also, I knew that the diabetic educator snuck out two hours before. The other nurse that was around was in such a rush to leave that she kept approaching me about how many patients were left and telling me to hurry up. I called another diabetic educator, who stated that she would see the patient 'this time', but she really wanted to go home. An idiot doctor screwed up the order, making it harder for me, because I had to explain to her how to correct it, in the middle of sending someone to the ER. Then, the doctor, who screwed up to begin with gets mad because I 'corrected her'. Her license is covered, but if I completed that order the way she stated it, I would have been in deep trouble, not her.

Nurses argue over assignments, shifts, bully each other at times, and everyone thinks that their individual situations are important. If there was more patient centered care than arguments and idiotic paperwork, it would be easier, but, it is not. I have not lost faith, but, I see why people pass the buck. It is not an easy place to be.

classicmusic09 · Jun 12, 2007

I am a new nurse and have been at it for 5 months. Before starting my life as a nurse, I was incredibly excited about the new road ahead of me. I knew it would not be easy, but I had no idea how much it would hurt my relationship and that it is slowly sucking the life out of me. I come home from work everyday exhausted, I'm irritable, and I just want to get in my pjs and curl up on the couch and be left alone. Some days are so difficult that I come home crying. My fiance who has stuck with me since nursing school (and we all know how difficult it is to keep a relationship during that time lol) is telling me how he doesn't like who I am anymore since I have started my new job and we are beginning to talk less. I'm not enjoy life and I am pushing others away from me. I keep hoping that everyday I go to work I will learn more and become more comfortable with things, but I find more self more miserable with each passing day. I work on a busy orthopedic/trauma unit and I'm wondering maybe it isn't the unit for me. Maybe I should switch to a different unit or maybe I'm just too new and need to stick it out longer.... I have have no idea anymore and don't know what to do. Is this normal? I've worked so hard to be here and I am not enjoying it. :trout:

Bless your heart, I know how that feels, believe me, I found I was happiest, working in an HMO, clinic setting. I learned a lot, my hours were 9A-5P MTThF. On Wed. we worked a late eve. We had a wonderful supportive group, with a few exceptions! I also worked as a Medicaid Auth.Analyst( had a desk, computer, phone, etc., also M-F. I loved it too! Nursing is a wonderful profession, when you find, your perfect fit. In the meantime, if you can't change floors or units, I would suggest, agency or home care for a while. Best Wishes!

Jo Dirt · Jun 12, 2007

I am a nursing student and I was just wondering if you could let me in on why you think nursing is not all its cracked up to be? I just dont want to think what your thinking down the line. What exactly makes it a bad job at times?

I didn't go into nursing because I thought I would "save humanity" or "make that special difference in someone's life." I went into nursing because I wanted a job that would pay better than cleaning rooms at Motel 6. However, I am a much different person after roughly 11 yrs. in the healthcare field. My outlook is not the same, definitely more jaded and cynical. You see so much BS as far as policies and politics it really shakes your faith in the whole healthcare deal. I got burned out on geriatrics to the point I would clean rooms in a Motel 6 before I would go back into a nursing home. For example, the Medicare and Medicaid waste and the whole deal with prolonging life for the sake of prolonging life (while draining the inheritance and resources of old people who should just be left alone to let nature take its course) gets to you. And who does it benefit? Government, pharmaceutical companies and the nursing home corporations.

Talk about exploiting the elderly.

Also in this profession, you will see how gossiping and backstabbing not just co-workers can be but patients as well. Co-workers can and do turn on you, but what hurts the most is when the patients do it, especially after you have bent over backwards to develop a rapport with them and make them happy and comfortable.

Sure, every profession has its share of issues, but the nursing profession seems to welcome it in spades.

Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2007

Hey there Wen83 and others -

I know how you feel. I have been there and I stay really aware that I not ALLOW myself to get back in that place.

It sounds almost like depression in its purest form - but, then you start trying to rationalize the "depression" issue and it starts off with -

well, it has to just be the job, or

how could just my job make me depressed?

And then you feel guilty for feeling bad about this "great job" that you have worked so hard for and NOW...this terrible feeling that you feel guilty about - vicious circle - you BET!

I think that EAP might be a good choice. If that is not an option - then I think a talk (maybe tearful) with your primary care provider is essential. You matter. There is no failure, no stigma in asking for what you need. Whatever you call it - caregiver stress, or ?????? --- it is vital that you care for yourself RIGHT NOW.

I had a job situation that pushed me to the edge - I believe that had I been able to have gotten access to the roof some nights - that I KNOW that I would have jumped! And I was supposed to be caring about others?! Heck, I could not even take care of my own needs! I was a mess. And it didn't stop with work - I carried my misery home AND the effects were not good for ANY of my relationships. Something had to give. I was ready to just give up. And I felt like a complete FAILURE. Here, I had this great hospital job and I was falling apart - me, the firefighter/paramedic that was tough, tested and proven, baptized by fire, never fail, anything is possible and able to conquer the worst that 911 had to offer. And here I am being a big baby at the hospital. I was a wreck! And I hated what I had become, actually I hated EVERYTHING! Add a toxic dose of shame and guilt!

I was crying, felt hopeless, withdrawing from any and everything, avoiding friend - the phone - email and the doorbell. I hated going to work. I would actually time it till I arrived at the absolute very last second. Passive aggressive? Maybe - but misery clouds your judgement.

Well, I allowed myself the "reluctant" luxury of chemical assistance (short well received course of antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, and the rare med for insomnia) found an amazing counselor through EAP (and it was covered by my health plan!) Focused on treating myself kindly - good food, exercise, sleep and rewards. Forced myself to be social - eventually I did not have to force it. I guess the big thing is that I was able to get PERSPECTIVE. I ended up leaving that position, but I learned that I could NEVER care for ANYONE until I cared more about MYSELF.

You can't give what you don't have!

So, there are options.

How would you counsel a patient that was in the "situation" that you are in?

You deserve the best!

Make sure you let yourself get it!

Good Luck!

:)

nurseinlimbo · Jun 12, 2007

I hear you.

I worked as a Nurse's Aide for 5 years before going to school, I thought the hours would be flexible and that nurses were respected members of the health care team. When I got out of school I quickly found out how new nurses are treated by the established staff in any area, and that my skills are not nearly as valued as my "warm body" to fill the shift. I have worked several different areas, and have not found a place yet that is sensitive to stress levels, burn out, and the necessity of having a family life.

Whether it is due to the shortage, the old school vs. new nurses attitudes, the health care system in general I don't know.

I do know that I am not going to ruin my life over my job, and if one isn't working I will find another. So far I am finding that working casual (prn) in a couple of places works best, as when things are getting old at one place, I work at the other for a while. It also allows me to fit my life in.

I did a stint in OR last year that just about did me in, it was distance learning for 4 months, then 2 months of clinical and 2 months orientation to the floor. It was straight days, which should have been nice, but I carpooled with my husband every day and we drove 40 minutes one way to work each day, and though I was off at 3pm, I didn't get to go home until 5pm waiting for him to get off. The atmosphere in the OR was horrible, the staff treated us like we were not even nurses, and that we had no right to expect to be treated well. They were constantly being denied vacation time, worked short alot and the respect level was nil from senior staff and some of the surgeons. I loved the work, hated the job. That situation caused me some health problems, and I ended up on antidepressants because of how the manager treated me. I hear now they have a full slate of staff, and they still denied 6 people vacation this summer. I'm glad I'm out of there, and I will not look back.

I would investigate what other job opportunities might be out there, you never know what doors might open if you look.