You Might Be A Nurse....

  1. You Might Be A Nurse If...

    **You hope there is a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.
    **You believe that not all patients are annoying...some are dead.
    **You believe that the gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    **You have told a patient to "get some rest now" and they die right there in front of you and their family.
    **You believe that no matter how much you care...some people are still *******s.
    **You believe that PIA (Pain in the ass) is an acceptable admitting diagnosis from ER.
    **You don't mention the name of a frequent flyer so as not to invoke his spirit to bring him/her to the ER and then to your unit.
    **When asked "What color is the patients diarrhea or vomit?" show the doctor your shoes.
    **You can discuss dismemberment over a meal like it is normal.
    **You look in your closet and you can't find anything non-medical to wear.
    **You can comfort anxious patients with..."I know just how you feel. It's my first IV too."
    **You can cover your mistakes with versed.
    **When you get a call telling you the name of your next patient you have the care plan done before they get to the floor.
    **When called for orders...the MD says..."Write them yourself-you know the patient better than I do."
    **You believe all bleeding stops....EVENTUALLY!
    **You believe everybody has to die sometime.
    **You ever told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to YELL really loud if they needed help.
    **You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
    **You've ever held a 14 gauge needle over a patients vein and said..."'re going to feel a little stick."
    **You shock someone with an unrecognizable rhythm until you get one you do recognize.
    **You believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.
    **You have encouraged obnoxious patients to sign out AMA.
    **You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
    **You believe every waiting room should have a valium salt-lick.
    **You refer to vegetable...and you don't mean the food group.
    **You firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.
    **You have to leave the patient before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
    **You believe a good tape job will fix anything.
    **You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
    **You are totally astounded when someone from a nursing home is understandable.
    **You look at the veins of everybody you meet.
    **You think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is totally appropriate in some cases.
    **You have ever restrained somebody...and it wasn't a sexual experience.
  2. Visit Dplear profile page

    About Dplear

    Joined: Nov '00; Posts: 900; Likes: 35
    Registered Nurse


  3. by   prmenrs
    Good. Verrry, very good.
  4. by   radnurse2001
    One to add----
    You remember people by their diagnosis

  5. by   essarge
    OMG!! I can't stop laughing!!! (((tears rolling))). I copied this to take to my ethics instructor (luckily she does have a great sense of humor!!! Thanks!!
  6. by   misti_z
    Great post! LMAO
  7. by   RNforLongTime
    There are a LOT more of these at [url] I[/ur copied them--its about 14 pages but VERY FUNNY!
  8. by   Nittlebug
    I think this is the first time I really laughed for a week.