What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

[yazisizit]

I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.

We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.

So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!

I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.

As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...

My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.

Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.

As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)

And of course, now so did I!

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

I've seen a lot of that sort of thing in LTC, too. Some of these really demented folks become fixated on one orifice or another, and it makes life pretty interesting.........

Several years back, when I was the night charge nurse in one facility, one of our more pleasantly confused residents wheeled herself up to me as I was passing meds, and began chatting. She was very much the proper Southern lady, who probably wouldn't have said sh** if she had a mouthful when she was young, and she'd retained most of her manners even well into the late-middle stage of her dementia. Our conversations were always very genteel, and on this particular occasion I had no clue as to what was coming.

"Good morning, sweetheart," said Silda as she grasped my hand and kissed it, which was her signature gesture.

"How are you doing, Silda?" I asked, giving her a hug.

"Oh, fine, just fine, my dear," she replied conversationally. "My p***y hurts"

Of course, that was the last thing I'd have expected to hear out of Silda, and one of the aides walking by snickered at what must have been an expression of pure shock on my face. However, I got hold of myself quickly, knowing I'd have to investigate.......so I took her back to her room, got her into bed, put gloves on, and found the pill-crusher that had been missing from the med cart for two days!! Egads!! How she got that up there, I'll never understand......and why hadn't anyone noticed it? (I knew the answer to that one.....doesn't anyone do peri-care anymore?! :angryfire )

Well, to put it delicately, Silda had created quite an uncomfortable situation for herself.......several lacerations and a raging infection that had to be treated in the ER. Didn't stop her from doing it again, however.......eventually we had to careplan nightly checks for foreign objects! :uhoh21:

[TDub, MSN, EdD]

Oh, poor sweetie!

I worry about what things I'm going to pull in the nursing home. I pity the fool, I mean the CNAs yet unborn who will take care of me.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

The exact reason why I refuse to go into a nursing home. I'd have to be completely touched in the head and not know what was happening first.

Oh, poor sweetie!

I worry about what things I'm going to pull in the nursing home. I pity the fool, I mean the CNAs yet unborn who will take care of me.

[linfull]

Nope. You're born with it. At least I was, anyway. None of these stories have done anything more than make my stomach do a little flip. Other than that, no gagging, no spewing, no dry heaving. I even ate lunch while reading this thread. (BBQ chicken - very thick, dark brown BBQ sauce.) No problems.

I guess I really am going into the right field.

(Oh, and I perpetually have a stuffy nose & ears from allergies. I can't smell a d@#n thing!)

I guess I'm in the right field also because the only post that made me slightly gag was about swallowing the patient's loogie. Other than that, I have been laughing so hard I almost wet my pants!!!!!

[linfull]

Nope. You're born with it. At least I was, anyway. None of these stories have done anything more than make my stomach do a little flip. Other than that, no gagging, no spewing, no dry heaving. I even ate lunch while reading this thread. (BBQ chicken - very thick, dark brown BBQ sauce.) No problems.

I guess I really am going into the right field.

(Oh, and I perpetually have a stuffy nose & ears from allergies. I can't smell a d@#n thing!)

I guess I'm in the right field also because the only post that made me slightly gag was about swallowing the patient's loogie. Other than that, I have been laughing so hard I almost wet my pants!!!!!

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

me too!!!!

i guess i'm in the right field also because the only post that made me slightly gag was about swallowing the patient's loogie. other than that, i have been laughing so hard i almost wet my pants!!!!!

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

me too!!!!

i guess i'm in the right field also because the only post that made me slightly gag was about swallowing the patient's loogie. other than that, i have been laughing so hard i almost wet my pants!!!!!

[RNelf]

That incident of swallowing someone else's lugie happened to an RT friend of mine. Yuck, gives me the oogies!

Speaking of RT's, another RT friend told me this joke:

How can you tell the difference between an RT and a nurse?

Stand them both knee-deep in s**t, then throw sputum at them. The one who ducks is the nurse.

Here's my gross contribution (nowhere near as bad as some I've read though. Eating earwax! Ewwww!)

I work in a medical ICU. I'm sure many of you know how when male pts get edematous, their scrotum also swells up with fluid. I had a pt once whose scrotum was so enlarged it looked like he had a 3rd leg amputated at the knee. Well, one night, after I had turned him, I went back into his room and the scrotum had actually popped! His sheets were literally drenched and serous fluid was running off the bed and across the floor. I guess turning him on his side put too much pressure on the scrotum, in spite of every attempt I had made to support it. There was a visible gash in the skin, but his testicles were (apparently) unharmed.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

:uhoh21: ouch! poor guy! did he survive? the loogie thing is the absolute worst. yuck, yuck, yuck!!!!

[RNelf]

No, unfortunately, he did not survive, but he had way more problems than just a popped scrotum. He was septic and was in multi-system organ failure. I didn't mean to be a downer, so far this thread has been quite funny! I was reading it this morning and kept laughing out loud, until my husband asked what was so funny. I only got as far as telling him the name of the thread, and he said "Stop right there!" Not everyone can handle body fluid discussions at mealtimes! :chuckle

OK, here's another mildly gross, and somewhat funny story that another nurse told me. He had to give his pt Lactulose through his NG tube. The pt asked if he could drink it, but my friend had already given the dose. He (my friend) was washing his hand, then when he turned back around he saw the pt with the free end of his NG in his mouth, sucking out the Lactulose! Ugh, what gets into people's heads?

[critcarenurse16]

That incident of swallowing someone else's lugie happened to an RT friend of mine. Yuck, gives me the oogies!

Well it certainly wasn't my first choice for lunch--but given what our cafeteria serves...

[mariessas_mom]

"...cottage cheese crawling down those thighs..."

You don't know how glad I am that I'm not eating cottage cheese for breakfast right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hee, hee! I worked for an OB/GYN for 7 years. To this day even the mention of cottage cheese makes me gag.....oh, gotta go now!